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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am. Wrong to be suspicious?

40 replies

Hotpinkangel19 · 15/03/2019 12:04

Looking for advice: What would you make of this?
DH is a HGV driver and regularly visits the same place for a delivery.
The woman called up his work saying how fab he is etc.
This was a few months ago.
Not long ago he told her he was over there at midnight, and she said she would have brought him a hot drink (at midnight!) as she lived close by
He’s searched for he on Fb a few weeks ago - today after he’s delivered there he’s searched her and requested her as a friend on Facebook.
Am I being silly?

OP posts:
MRex · 15/03/2019 12:19

It sounds like your DH is trying to start an affair. It's best to talk to him to decide if things are over or if you both want to deal with this. If you don't because you think he's already crossed a line then it's reasonable to walk away.

MoistMolly · 15/03/2019 12:20

You need to look at your relationship. There's obviously no trust there with all your snooping.

Littlechocola · 15/03/2019 12:21

I wouldn’t like it

adaline · 15/03/2019 12:32

I have to say I wouldn't like that either.

tensmum1964 · 15/03/2019 12:33

He,s crossed way more than one line. You are not being silly. He,s clearly seeking her out and I doubt his intentions are innocent.

RedSkyLastNight · 15/03/2019 12:34

How do you know all that? Did he tell you? Are you snooping?
If he told you, then probably nothing in it. If you are snooping, I think you need to consider why.

bunintheoven88 · 15/03/2019 12:35

If he was trying to start an affair I wouldn't have thought he would have told you about her 🤷🏽‍♀️

CookPassBabtridge · 15/03/2019 12:36

An affair 😂 From adding someone on facebook? Better remove all my male friends and stop complimenting them.

talktoo · 15/03/2019 12:38

MoistMolly don't be ridiculous. Any one can quite easily have 2 or 3 things make their instincts rise up. Maybe wrongly maybe rightly. Then looking into things is sensible, not snooping. You'd be one of those naive people who was the last one to know.

BejamNostalgia · 15/03/2019 12:40

Saying something like ‘Oh if I’d known you were here I would have got you a coffee’ is a pretty meaningless thing to say.

It just sounds like they’re friendly to me and I wouldn’t assume it was an affair. I mean, are there that many women out there that would seduce a delivery man at their work? I thought that only happened in bad porn.

PregnantSea · 15/03/2019 12:41

Talk to him about this. Ask him what's going on. Watch his reaction very carefully. If he willingly volunteers the truth and doesn't act like it's a big deal then I'd maybe just think he's being naive. And I'd ask him to cut it out! But if he neglects to mention even a tiny little detail or acts like he's been caught out then I'd be very suspicious and think the worst.

Savoury99 · 15/03/2019 12:42

I agree talktoo, not a very helpful contribution MoistMolly.

Original poster
Hotpinkangel19 · 15/03/2019 12:46

I just have a gut feeling about it all - mane I'm wrong but I wouldn't encourage someone who liked me - is it normal to pop out at night to deliver a coffee to a random delivery driver who you barely know?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 15/03/2019 12:48

But she didn’t go give him coffee? It could be just one of those throwaway comments people make but have no intention of actually doing it.

Savoury99 · 15/03/2019 12:49

I wouldn't, I would ask him.

crochetmonkey74 · 15/03/2019 12:58

NO, I would be worried too- as they are seeking each other out. I have lest nice reviews for nice delivery drivers before, or other people who have been really lovely. That's where it ends, a professional service, a customer review. Anything else shows there is something else there. I would be really suspicious.

Huskylover1 · 15/03/2019 13:00

He'd be incredibly stupid to add her on FB (which links to his wife), if his intentions were creepy.

She would be stupid to call his work, if they were having an affair.

That said, I still wouldn't like it!

AlexaAmbidextra · 15/03/2019 13:01

There's obviously no trust there with all your snooping.

With good reason it would seem.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 15/03/2019 13:01

Who is feeding you all this info OP?

TheDizzyRascal · 15/03/2019 13:15

Oh wow a lot of people have jumped to a conclusion so quick! I work at a place that takes lots of deliveries (I'm female) and I am friends on facebook with a few of the regular drivers! They pop in so often, we have a chat, we have a brew, I know about their families etc... so you become friends, it's not a problem! Obviously if they start meeting up/having secrets/swapping inappropriate messages then yeah, it may be a problem, but at the moment I don't think so. Hope it turns out to be nothing OP xxx

Herewegoagain84 · 15/03/2019 13:34

@TheDizzyRascal I think this situation is a bit different though - her DH hasn’t just made a delivery and had a few chats with a female employee, it seems she’s seeking him out in the middle of the night to bring him coffee as she lives close by - so she’s not even on the premises at the time. Would that happen at your workplace?

Birdsgottafly · 15/03/2019 13:36

CookPassBabtridge are they mates or did they compliment you, so you decided to add them?

"I mean, are there that many women out there that would seduce a delivery man at their work"

Yep and taxi drivers, they get constant offers. There are sites just for hook ups, but picking someone like a driver gives you a level of protection, or so is thought.

Is he friends with other Women? I know men amd of they are friendly with a Woman, they want to shag her, because other than that, outside of family, they don't closely mix with Women.

He's looked for her, if he isn't the "add everyone and their dog on FB", then he's looking to play away.

MoistMolly · 15/03/2019 13:44

@talktoo

don't be ridiculous. Any one can quite easily have 2 or 3 things make their instincts rise up.

Which are what? OP hasn't said, unless you count that he makes regular deliveries to her workplace and she's left a comment with his employer.

Everything after that in the ops post is paranoia. I think you need to stop being ridiculous by making things up.

BlooperReel · 15/03/2019 13:44

Yeah he is definitely pursuing her.

Nathansmommy1 · 15/03/2019 13:49

It could be harmless and that he is just enjoying the attention. But best to have a chat with him about it and see what he says.

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