Kids after school activities

[chocolateroses]

Is it just me or do kids just do so many classes and activities these days? I'm feeling the pressure to match others but also thinking how I never did all that stuff and I'm ok?

Swimming, gymnastics, football, ballet, beavers, rainbows.... the list goes on. Parents seem to have so much ££££ and kids are busy doing something extra everyday.

I'm not judging, but am genuinely less of a good parent if I don't jump on this bandwagon?

My DD(5) would do an activity every day if she could. At the moment she does yoga after-school and Ballet and Swimming on weekends and altogether it costs us £75 a month. She wants start Arts and Crafts club after-school as well and I feel bad saying no but that would be an extra £20 a month and I'm not sure I can justify it. Her Brother is only a baby at the moment but I'm very aware that anything we do for DD we'll need to give him the same opportunities when he's old enough so if I don't set limits it'll end up getting ridiculously expensive once there's two of them doing activities.

My dc do swimming lessons twice a week, one does taekwondo twice a week and the other does tutoring twice a week. They both enjoy all the activities and as we live somewhere where the temperature has been settled at around -20 for the last 4 months it's a good way to get them out the house. Coming into summer when they can play outside they want more free time and I agree with that

DS1 is out every night doing after school activities. DS2 has one thing he does at the weekend, and comes home to relax/do homework at night.

My 8 year old does loads, and is continually asking to do new ones (while not wanting to drop anything). So she does football, guitar, Brownies, swimming and performing arts. That’s an after school activity 3 evenings a week (two on one day), and half a day at the weekend. My 5 year old is lazy and doesn’t want to do anything, so he does performing arts and we will start swimming next term despite his reluctance. My rule is one weekend day free and at least one after school. There is no swimming at school, only one PE lesson a week, they are not allowed to run in the playground (yes really), so I encourage activity. My two are perfectly happy entertaining themselves, have pkaydates, but ‘playing out with friends’ - didn’t even know that existed anymore?!

I think it's about balance. If you are spending 7 days a week dashing about taking kids to activities then it allows little time for anything else. Likewise kids spending hours at activities everyday after school and in the holidays might find it hard to balance this with the demands of schoolwork and maintaining friendships as they get older.

As long as the DC are happy to do the activities it is ok but if it becomes too much or too demanding then it's time to rethink. A friends DD regularly misses school due to exhaustion from her training regime. This would be unacceptable in my world but others have different priorities.

Our two do a lot, it sort of crept up as they kept asking to do other than bags but not wanting them drop any of the others. Currently 11 year old has three activities (but one of those is twice a week, so 4) and the 8 year old does 6, but 2 of those are lunchtime activites at school and one is tuition, so 3 after school hobbies.

‘Other than bags??’ Haha, other activities, I mean!

DDage 10 plays for a local and a district football team, she has training twice midweek and sometimes a match on both Saturday and Sunday. She LOVES footie and hardly ever moans.
She also goes to 2 after school clubs (for child care purposes on the days I work).

Last year she did all the above and had 3 hours a week 11+ tutoring.

DS2 age 12 plays for the school rugby and football team and also plays tennis once a week. His main passion is Fortnite so having lots of,physical outdoor activity is a big priority. He also,had the tutoring........God am I glad that's over with!

Thanks all. Maybe it's just me, I've never been much of a joiner 😂

My eldest child keeps asking to do more and more classes, I think I'll limit it to three (to be honest we can't really afford for them to do lots ). My middle child does one at the moment. Youngest none, but he's only 1.

I hate the drop off and pick up - especially for the ones where you have to wait around for the duration of the class when you have other young ones to entertain! But my eldest is an angel at getting herself dressed ready etc for the classes so I don't really have an excuse other than I don't want to.

The only after school stuff my son (4) will be doing is swimming lessons, which start tomorrow. Thats the only after school option for my son becasue we can’t afford £30 per term for multi sports, £30 per term for dance class, £90 per term for drama, nor the £3.50 a session fee for cubs/scouts etc. My mum has agreed to pay for swimming lessons, so he can go, otherwise it’s a none starter. There’s more important stuff to spend that money on like food.

When my Dd started school the HT advised to not do after school activities for the first term as the children would find just starting school v tiring. We have always done less than the average where i live, mainly due to cost. Some kids were doing 1 or 2 extra curricular activities per day which for me would be prohibitively expensive but also a logistical problem if they both didnt want to do the same thing. Around year 6 a lot of my dds friends dropped a lot of their spirts/activities. My dd does dance and they have recently had a production. Show week meant rehearsals or shows every day for a week for up to 4 hours at a time. Ds had to miss one of his activities as i couldnt physically get them each to the correct place at the right time. I couldnt deal with working and having every week like that if they each had multiple activities.

... But can a child excel or become truly proficient at any activity if they do so many things? There's no time to practice or consolidate learning if they are rushing around to different activities 7 days a week.

My son does three activities that I believe he will carry on into adulthood.

DS (almost 6) doesn't do anything apart from swimming which is non negotiable. Not a money issue, he just doesn't want to. He has tried a few clubs for a term or so but he's not really enjoyed any of them and I would never force him to do something extracurricular that he doesn't like.

If he ever wants to do any clubs in the future he can. I've suggested all sorts to him and he's said no to every single one.

I want my DDs class to change days as since she has got older, the classes have got later and it now clashes with the only sport i do!!

My ten year old would just love to have friends round to play. She has certain toys, games and crafty things that she would love to do with others (instead of just me) at home. She doesn't want to go to a 'club' to do these things. Unfortunatly it is almost impossible to get someone round to play - they are always at some club or activity or class. Every blimmin day. Obviously that is their parents choice (and money) to do those activities and that is the life they have chosen for their children but I find it sad that these children are just busy busy busy and can't even come round for an hour or so to play with beads or whatever.
Also I would like to take my daughter swimming once in a while after school. Not lessons but just to splash around in the water having fun but all the public pools fill up the after school times with classes. So no public family swimming.
It kind of annoys me.

I'm the opposite of you, OP, I worry that my reception aged child does too much, she has 3 after school clubs in addition to swimming, gymnastics and ballet outside school. I read all these blogs/articles which say that over scheduled children lose the ability to be creative etc but she seems to enjoy all of them.

Each kid is different - some of my friends report that their children are knackered after school every day so do no clubs at all - and everyone has different financial circumstances.
I think, do what works for you, your budget and your child and don't worry too much about what others are doing.

Hi all, I have two small children daughter she's 2 nearly 3 and a son his 4. I am thinking about putting them into a class if not two on the weekends. I'm thinking gymnastics and ballet, swimming lessons too

But I'm in a dilemma! I'm living in a area I hate and don't intend to stay I'm worried that if I start my two small children into a class or classes and then I move in the near future into a new area that this would effect their mind set?

Any advice, id really appreciate advice back thank you **

But can a child excel or become truly proficient at any activity if they do so many things?

Well firstly that obviously depends if that's your end game. A lot of people enjoy playing sports or doing other activities like music or drama despite not being especially brilliant at them and when people do find an overriding passion then they naturally do it more at the expense of other things. Some people pick things up in adulthood and still excel at them (a lot of very good trail runners come to it very late in life, for example).

Secondly, a lot of the skills are transferable anyway. Kids who are good at one team ball sport and play it regularly tend to be good at most of them and pick up new team ball sports easily. Kids with a very high aerobic threshold and decent strength tend to find they're pretty competent at swimming AND cycling AND athletics AND rowing etc. Once you can read music it's easier to learn the second instrument.

Also, if you don't try a lot of things when you're young, how do you know what you like? If I'd picked three things for my DC I'd probably have got it wrong as they are completely different and I'd have picked based on my preferences rather than theirs and because it would be convenient for us to have shared interests.

Basically, unless you really think you're good enough to make a living out of x sport/ instrument/art form, AND have the passion and drive to make it your single focus, then just enjoy these things on your own terms.

DD is 6. She currently does an hour of gymnastics, 45mins trampolining (although there are 5 children per trampoline so shared between them) and 30mins swimming lesson.
Since they went back to school after the February half term, I don't think dd's class has done pe at all. If it rains then one of the older years get to use the hall. They do have the golden mile though, DD just got a certificate for reaching 10miles.

I think they do. DS 8 does multisports one day a week, DD 12 does compulsory poetry, also one day a week. They're exhausted, they don't need to do anything else.

This isnt a new thing though, perhaps you meant different from your childhood.

I'm 36 and I did st John ambulance 1 night a week from 6yrs, brownies then guides 1 night, a sports club after school and then orchestra after school. They were never compulsory and I enjoyed doing all of them.

We never had any after school clubs at my school back in the 80's, the only thing I did was Brownies. My daughter is in year 3 and has just signed up to all of the after school clubs for this term, she also goes to Brownies. These are all things she wants to do, mostly because her friends are doing them. My son is in year 1 and the school day is already long enough for him he has no interest in crafts or music lessons yet but is waiting for a place at Beavers.

I did a lot of things when I was young, growing up in the 80s. Some I liked a lot but some I was strongly encouraged to do by my mum for academic reasons. Some I did for years and years, some I did one year and dropped them.

From memory I did years of classical ballet, later on added modern and a bit of tap. I was dancing 3-4 times a week as a teenager. I rode once a week. I tried tennis and piano but had no talent and dropped them. I had swimming lessons and swimming training but just for fun. I had English (second language) and French lessons for years and a very short flirtation with German. At times I had tutoring in physics and chemistry and I did my A levels after school (obviously not in the U.K.).