Kids after school activities

[chocolateroses]

Is it just me or do kids just do so many classes and activities these days? I'm feeling the pressure to match others but also thinking how I never did all that stuff and I'm ok?

Swimming, gymnastics, football, ballet, beavers, rainbows.... the list goes on. Parents seem to have so much ££££ and kids are busy doing something extra everyday.

I'm not judging, but am genuinely less of a good parent if I don't jump on this bandwagon?

Everyone is different. I was at school in the 90s and signed up for every lunch club and after school club going as that's how I preferred to spend my time. I also had a Saturday job and, as I did an extra A level, much of Sunday was spent doing homework. My DBro did nothing as he preferred hanging out with mates, going off on bike rides etc.
I remind myself of this when I worry about 9yo DD who does at least one activity every day after school and a sport on both days at the weekend. She is choosing this. In part it may be that on some of these days she'd be in childcare so, if she can't be at home, perhaps she'd rather be at an activity rather than in childcare but it's mainly because she loves sport. I have just signed her up for another activity. She's been desperate to do it but the logistics didn't work and I was reluctant to spend more money on activities but she's worked out a lift share arrangement which solves the logistics issue and has offered to do some jobs around the house to earn the cost.
Even with doing all of these activities, she is only doing 45 mins sport on most days, more at the weekend and on the one day that she has back to back sport activities.

Simple....kids don't/can't play out anymore and clubs teach them so many valuable skills....and new friends outside school. So important.

I think it depends on the child. If they are enjoying it and getting something out of it then it's great to give them the opportunity. If you have to force them and they don't like it then maybe it's not worth the hassle?

I also agree with PPs that some afternoons it's good for them to just manage their own time and entertain themselves.

An activity every night ? No way in hell would I be doing that. For a start both DH and I work with a commute

But that's why so many children are doing activities, most of these can be clubs with school.

We don't all have the opportunity to be home with our kids relaxing every night - the alternative to activities might just be a boring after school club.

I don’t think it’s changed that much . I did lots of activities growing up - swimming , dancing , gymnastics , played the flute , singing lessons , brownies , german club . Only difference for me is I did most mine during / after school as I had a parent that worked school hours . My kids do most theirs at the weekend .

Good luck getting a teenager to take part in an activity s/he doesn't want to do.

Most of us manage to send ours to school on time and everyday...

I can't believe people actually think that: "but it tends to set a precedent that her needs / interests are always prioritised over anyone else’s which is not a great lesson IMO"
Isn't that called having children?

I let DD (8) do as many activities as she wants - school finishes at 12 for her so there's a lot of time to do things as well as play freely. She does scouts and circus outside of school and she joins every after school club she can, currently skiing and handicrafts.

As an adult learning to swim it's the one thing I wished my parents had made me do as a child. I know a lot of parents do swimming classes with their kid's until they know they can swim fully, so until age 9/10. I think whatever suits really, my two oldest (9 and 11) didn't want to do anything and money wise that suited us but the two youngest begged to do drama and football and they want to start martial arts so we're putting some money together to start next set of classes. Of they show no interest in ant of them that'll be it but they come home excited every time so now I feel guilty for the two older ones!!

*I think the danger is, if young people grow up accustomed to having all their time planned out for them, they won't know how to manage their own time when they go to university and suddenly have loads of unstructured time to fill

Quite - When did we become such slaves to the wants and whims of our children? An activity every night ? No way in hell would I be doing that. For a start both DH and I work with a commute so my DD6 doesn’t get picked up from after school club til 5.30pm. ( we then have reading & spellings to do) She has done a number of different clubs within school including street dance, illustration club and Spanish over the last years ( at varying times). At the moment she does ballet and swimming at the weekend*

I think you'll find that your child is doing what other children have to do outside school hours as the schools don't offer them. ( which is fine and you're lucky!)

booyahkasha

Not all kids. My son and the kids in our street play out all the time ( weather depending ) and attend clubs. Theres a thing called a balance

booyahkasha

Not all kids. My son and the kids in our street play out all the time ( weather depending ) and attend clubs. Theres a thing called a balance

Mine only does two activities. Should be fine, except that they both take up an inordinate amount of time. One is 5hrs a week (and that will rise) not including local travel the other is minimum 5hrs a week including longer travel- more on certain weekends and also involves holiday camps which can be blocks of 5 days.

However, he likes both, is good at both and doesn't want to give either up. I would feel very guilty making him choose between them, and he benefits from each in different ways, so on we go.

Personally, I think there is a difference between giving children the opportunity to commit to something, practice, compete, fail, succeed, learn to set goals, communicate with coaches/ teachers/ team mates etc. and and endless round of individual recreational time fillers.

My 4 year old swims on a Wednesday, gymnastics on a Thursday, and ballet/tap on a Sunday. She thrives on structure.

The 2 year old does rugby on a sat and swimming on a Wednesday. He seems to be more of a potter about-er but want I him to do some sort of sport

At one point my child did some kind of activity most eves and at tne weekend. It was far to much and went on for a year. Now he does 1 activity a week which he really enjoys. He gets far more out of doing one activity he truly loves than having loto just to fill time.

I get you , it’s like some think their kids have to do these things . The amount some do is mind boggling .
My dd just does swimming now and has started to get into tennis but that’s it . Before she did swimming,gymnastics and dance but she was getting so tired so we stopped the gymnastic and then a few mo the later the dance .
She’s much happier now

I think the danger is, if young people grow up accustomed to having all their time planned out for them, they won't know how to manage their own time when they go to university and suddenly have loads of unstructured time to fill.

Certainly not my experience. In fact, the exact opposite. The children who have grown up active and interested in many things or with a passion for something developed in childhood tend to continue that attitude into adulthood. Having exposure to structured activities doesn’t mean ‘no down time’ or ‘not able to entertain themselves’ far from it; they have more experience to fall back on. They still make fairy gardens and ladybird homes. Sadly, it’s more likely the ones sat in front of an XBox all evening that lack imagination and an ability to fill their days.

Mine continued activities and found new ones at university. They like active leisure as they’ve moved into adulthood. Eldest does some more adult things like book club but has also formed a choir, fences, belings to an orchestra and goes to gym. Our son chose a more structured life in the military so has activities on his doorstep and continues with rugby at a high level which eats into his time. He does now also play squash and sing in a barbershop quartet.

Active children become active adults generally.

My kids do a lot:

Ds(8): clarinet, cricket,choir, soccer, rugby x 2, hockey. There is a hockey or rugby tournament every 3 weeks.

Ds(6): ballet, hockey, violin, swimming, gymnastics, rugby. As above re the tournaments

The motivation starts with them and ends with them. If they say they want to quit I just make them finish that term ( ie what I’ve paid for). No pressure. Ds will probably drop rugby end of this season and play more soccer. Ds will probably drop ballet for athletics.

Only mandatory thing has been swimming to a ‘safety ‘ level. DS past that now and has dropped.dd loves it and will carry on.

They both ‘play out’ a lot as we live overseas in an apartment compound so it’s traffic free and kids play out alone from 4 years onwards.

Some kids like to do lots of clubs, some don’t
Some parents have the time & ££ and some don’t
Some schools/areas offer lots of free/paid for activities and some don’t.

There are so many variables, so no you are not BU to not keep up with other people’s club rotas and it doesn’t make you any less of a good parent if your DC don’t attend many or any clubs. As long as they are happy and you do what’s best for your family

Part of the reason we let the kids try lots of things is to help them find a passion, if there is one. It will be that that keeps them motivated to join in as teens, not parental pressure.

Anyway, it isn't one or another. Mine have shed loads of time to just hang out, having a couple of activities a week doesn't negate that.

My daughter gets a lot of pleasure and pride out of being strong and fit, and being picked for teams. She's always been that way but being home educated didn't see herself compared to others, and never really competed. So it is important to her to train and test herself. 🤷

My ds 5, goes to swimming and football. He was at the school outdoors club but he was so tired we let him drop that one. He will be going to cubs when he is six and maybe swapping it for football if he is to tired. Over the summer months he will be doing a cricket club but he won't be going to school so won't be as tired then. I didn't get the opportunity to go to any out of school clubs when I was a child as my parents couldn't afford it but we can so I wouldn't want my son to miss out, however I also wouldn't want to force my ds to do a club/sport he has no interest in. I think a couple of activities a week is more than enough and kids need some down time as well as us adults.

i think children need plenty of time for free play. As one small child said ' you need plenty of time for play as that is where you do your own thinking.' In free play children have to negotiate social interaction themselves, have to create their own investigations, solve their own problems, do their own thinking. Activities can be fine but they don't offer the same development opportunities of free play.

Activities can be fine but not if they are crowding out plenty of time for free play.

30 years ago I did brownies gymnastics and swimming, at primary age (my sisters also had music lessons on top of that).
At secondary it was guides/scouts, helping with brownies/beavers, and Drama.
At various times we had a lot of church activities as well as that.

It's about the same as my kids do. Except when I wasn't at an activity, we were playing creatively in the street or at others houses.
My kids don't do that, so I want to send them to more activities otherwise they are home not doing much.

I agree swimming lessons are a definite necessity imo. My DS has been in lessons since he was a toddler and at 4 already has his 5 meters badge. He also goes to drama, football and taekwondo. He is a very energetic boy who enjoys being kept busy but I agree it does get very expensive! He is now asking to play the drums but I've told him we will look in to it when he starts primary in August.

As a kid I went to theatre school twice a week, horse riding, guitar lessons, swimming and kickboxing so I'm guessing he gets it from me!