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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how to find a job after 17 years as SAHM?

77 replies

ThreeRandomWords · 14/03/2019 19:28

Really want to find a job to have my own income and for my own sanity. But I feel I have lost my confidence after so much time out of the workplace and I am battling feelings of defeatism.

I can't go back to my old job as that was in IT and my skills are obsolete now. I have thought about training as a teacher maybe, which is something I have always fancied. I worry that I am too old (48) and too long out of the workplace to be of interest to anyone.

Any advice? Or inspiring stories of people in a similar position?

Thanks.

OP posts:
Jam82 · 14/03/2019 19:29

I would start small and build your way up. Something like a dinner lady in a local school to get a bit of confidence and work experience under your belt and then take it from there x

mbosnz · 14/03/2019 19:30

Um, what was your job in IT? Because your languages might be obsolete, but your training?

fitbciz1 · 14/03/2019 19:35

I did an MSc and went back to software development after a 15 year gap. I was 46 when I got my lovely new job, nobody cared about my age. You’re never too old Smile

Original poster
ThreeRandomWords · 14/03/2019 19:35

I was a Cobol programmer.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThreeRandomWords · 14/03/2019 19:37

What was your MSc in, if you don't mind me asking?

To be honest, I never loved my job, but I was well paid.

OP posts:
jellymaker · 14/03/2019 19:37

You have one life . Don't waste it thinking you can't do something. Sorry to sound dramatic but my friend died last year unexpectedly. It really made me reevaluate what I believe about myself. If you want to do it, do it. You have tonnes of skills from running a household that are transferable to loads of places. Being a mum requires hard work and resilience. We all know it's the toughest job in the world. You won't find another job that is tougher. Go for it

fitbciz1 · 14/03/2019 19:43

It was a computer science one and I loved it. Didn’t like my job before my break (rubbish company), completely love my one now.

Ariela · 14/03/2019 19:45

Heaps of articles about over 50s going into teaching.
eg www.telegraph.co.uk/goodlife/11742224/Why-the-best-teachers-are-over-50.html

Justanotherlurker · 14/03/2019 19:48

Cobol is still sought after in legacy system programming, depending on where you are in the country you could just do a bit of refresh and get some interviews easily.

RoseGoldJuliet · 14/03/2019 19:50

One of my friends trained as a teacher when she was 47, and was HOD when she retired! She was brilliant.

jennymalone · 14/03/2019 19:50

a dinner lady in a local school to get a bit of confidence and work experience

I think this is terrible advice for someone who's worked in a professional career job with a computer science background.. might be ok for someone wanting to get any work experience having never had a job, but not great for the OP.

Op, look at some of the "return to STEM" jobs/support groups, there's many available at big employers and professional associations due to the STEM skills gap. Some offer more support than others, it depends where you are/what you could commit to.

dizzycatdance2 · 14/03/2019 19:51

I went back into it after 16 year gap. I wrote ,not emailed, local companies I thought might suit, offered to work for a couple of days a week to "try me out" (asks give me a chance to see if I could still do it) .
I wrote to 13, got relies from 3 and have been with one of those since 2015.
Worth a shot if you aren't currently working so not "losing" a wage.

mbosnz · 14/03/2019 19:56

Okay, talking to DH who is reasonably high up in IT, COBOL being one of those vanishing languages, can be highly paid if you can find the work in it. But can be hard to retrain in the modern languages.

But if you didn't enjoy it, where is your passion? You're clearly intelligent and capable. I'm 47. It's really easy to think we're further over the hill than we actually are, I reckon.

Justanotherlurker · 14/03/2019 20:09

Okay, talking to DH who is reasonably high up in IT, COBOL being one of those vanishing languages, can be highly paid if you can find the work in it

If you have expertise in a legacy language you will not really need to touch modern languages, its sought after and any work history however far back and can pass a tech test will be in demand.

Don't need anyone's DH as there are plenty of us on here working high up in IT (sorry but the 'I asked my DH' kind of annoys me)

GeorgeTheBleeder · 14/03/2019 20:20

A brand, shiny new qualification would be a good place to start. Studying something you're interested in amongst a probably diverse group of people is both exciting and challenging. And combined with maturity you're likely to sweep through exams and graduate with impressive new skills.

Anything you'd like to try?

Jimjamjong · 14/03/2019 20:21

I have just been to a meeting where they are recruting Cobol programmers and providing the training. It's not obsolete, apparently it is very much used by banks, transport companies, etc... but it's not that easy to find people trained in Cobol. I am on the other side of the channel but worth having a look around. You could also retrain in Java with a 3 months training course.

GeorgeTheBleeder · 14/03/2019 20:41

I have to say, I too find it worrying that anyone might suggest a previously highly paid and skilled professional could only aspire to (forgive me) very low status work after being a SAHM. How on earth would women ever progress in the workplace, and have any power in the world, if that were the case?

I probably haven't put this well. Of course minimum wage, unskilled jobs are worthwhile. But they are not automatically the correct realm for every mother. Nor for anyone who might have had a break from work for any number of reasons.

Jam82 · 14/03/2019 21:00

GeorgeTheBleeder I work in a school. Almost everyone of our dinner ladies have previously held good careers and are finding their feet getting back into the workplace. They tend to only stay for around 6 months after it has given them a confidence boost and the realisation that they can return to work and that it’s not as hard as they built it up to be in their heads. When they leave a lot go into teacher training, but I have known others go back into their former careers after leaving, so maybe get off your high horse? 😂

Jam82 · 14/03/2019 21:01

Oh and btw we have male ‘dinner ladies’ too before she start on your feminist crusade again

Justanotherlurker · 14/03/2019 21:04

I have to say, I too find it worrying that anyone might suggest a previously highly paid and skilled professional could only aspire to (forgive me) very low status work after being a SAHM. How on earth would women ever progress in the workplace, and have any power in the world, if that were the case?

Whilst I agree with your overall statement, a developer with apparent COBOL experience (the time out is becoming somewhat irrelevant in legacy systems) wouldn't be posting a thread on how to find work.

Its a confidence issue, if she has the knowledge she will be in demand and highly paid, re training now is a cost negative that if you include having to learn new languages so you can teach will be more cost effective of being a highly paid dev on legacy systems and learn on the job.

GeorgeTheBleeder · 14/03/2019 21:07

Is it me - or is it my new name?

Everyone seems to want to fight me now ... Confused

Justanotherlurker · 14/03/2019 21:11

Everyone seems to want to fight me now ...

No one is fighting you, its a continuation of discussion as the OP hasn't come back

Mixingitall · 14/03/2019 21:14

Apply and see what happens. I was a SAHM for 8 years, applied for a role in the field of IT I worked in before and got a great job on a great salary. IT changes so fast that an understanding of technology and the technical mind to learn are big assets in themselves. Being personable goes a long way too! Good luck, don’t let confidence hold you back.

Jam82 · 14/03/2019 21:14

Please also note the OP’s posts saying she doesn’t really want to return to her former field and has always wanted to teach, but is feeling unsure of herself after being out of employment for so long

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