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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu-Allowing d's to wear knee high boots for school

229 replies

Shippers87 · 14/03/2019 18:33

Posting here for opinions as I'm annoyed at the attitude of the teachers at my dd's school.

She is 6 years old and we bought her some black flat boots that sit just under the knee for school on days where it is cold/wet/windy as frankly the Mary Jane style shoes that are normally sold for girls are not suitable for this weather.

School assistant has kept asking my dd where her shoes are and went on to say she can't wear her boots.

It does not say this in the school uniform rules. Nor are they not practical as she is comfier in them than normal school shoes.

So I said next time they ask for my dd to tell the teacher that I let her wear them.

They have now told her that she has to wear her pe pumps inside. Which has made her feel sad.

Can they do this ?

I know there is no legislation saying that UK school children have to wear uniform but I feel this is a bit petty seeing as in this day and age you can wear knee high boots in certain workplaces

I don't pick her up/drop her off due to working full time so am thinking of writing a letter as I am unable to speak to them after school

OP posts:
Original poster
Shippers87 · 14/03/2019 21:58
  • i wear ankle boots not knee high
OP posts:
emma6776 · 14/03/2019 22:00

I’ve been sending my dd to school in boots over the winter, as have all the other parents. I can’t imagine why the teachers would possibly care?

MariaNovella · 14/03/2019 22:00

Boots are sensible and practical in cold/wet weather. Only in the UK are schools attached to children wearing clothing inappropriate for the climate.

Original poster
Shippers87 · 14/03/2019 22:00

Yet the wchool have the same rule that towards the end if the summer termnthey will let children wear trainers if their school shoes have worn out where I get dd a new pair of shoes whenever as as that age their feet are not going to grow that much in the 6 month holidays

OP posts:
Original poster
Shippers87 · 14/03/2019 22:01
  • 6 week holidays
OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 14/03/2019 22:05

It's all about dressing in what you feel comfortable in as long as it looks smart

Nope. Not at any place with a uniform policy it isn’t.

If you don’t like the uniform policy, you should have chosen a school with a policy you agree with or a school with no uniform at all.

Echobelly · 14/03/2019 22:08

People say 'there are loads of practical girls' shoes' but actually they're not always easy to find and you can have a challenge if you have a DD who won't accept anything in the boys' section (and this can happen despite parents' best efforts). You can go to entire shops with no enclosed shoes for younger girls though there may be lace up ones for older kids. But not much good if your kid's too young for laces.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/03/2019 22:10

don't we want to teach our girls to be strong and independent... in this modern day world it's important to express yourself where you can on your likes dislikes... a lot of people are quite happy to play the sheep
So in July when the weather is warm and she wants to wear her pink ballerina dress to school and have her hair dyed green I assume you'll tell her it's fine and she can go to school like that?

MoBiroBo · 14/03/2019 22:12

Shippers, if this was secondary school and you flout the uniform and send your daughter in boots then she will spend the day in isolation, the same with it's only 2 weeks until summer holidays so she can wear trainers. Not at secondary. She needs to fall inline now and learn that although she may not agree with something, she still needs to abide by it.

Wear the boots to school, change at school. I did this with my sons and wellies for bad weather.

Stop challenging the rules, it doesn't matter why they specify shoes or a particular colour of jumper, those are the rules. Why are you picking and choosing which rules apply to your child? She can express herself when she is older, and probably outside the work place unless she works somewhere without a dress code.

I volunteer in a primary school and I am not allowed to wear jeans or open toe sandals in case my toes get stepped on.

hazeyjane · 14/03/2019 22:14

My dds usually wore boots in the winter. It's a sensible choice. School never said anything.

When it gets to secondary uniform rules are usually tighter ime. Dds now swear DM shoes which are good all year round.

D's has been wearing socks and blimming sandals to school for the last 2 day....that's been interesting!

Original poster
Shippers87 · 14/03/2019 22:17

MoBiroBo that is a valid reason jeans are universally seen as casual wear open for Sandles are a health and safety risk.. I am not sending her in pink at tan boots but black and practical flat ones not ones with heels so what is the argument against that is my point..

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 14/03/2019 22:19

so what is the argument against that is my point..

It doesn’t matter why they don’t allow boots. It’s completely irrelevant and they don’t have to explain themselves to you.

TotHappy · 14/03/2019 22:19

I agree with you op. Black, flat boots - why the fuck not?! I bloody hate all the fuss over uniform and think it's gone say over the top. Its nothing to do with learning.

Cheeeeislifenow · 14/03/2019 22:19

I would hope a school would have better things to concern themselves with than a six year olds shoes or boots. I don't see how it goes any difference as long as your dd is comfortable in them.

SmarmyMrMime · 14/03/2019 22:20

Our school permits boots. Smart, practical. What's not to like?

"Girls''" shoes are crap. I look after a girl who has a "decent" pair of lace-up type shoes that are more enclosed, but there is no grip on the things and I've lost track of the times she's fallen and shreded her knees and hands on the school run, far more this year than my two DSs ever have put together with their grippy lugs. It puts her at a major disadvantage to keeping up with the boys when her shoes just slither around when the boys can plough straight up steep banks or in mud.

Sadly by 6, so many children have aquired strong clichés about what is acceptably feminine and masucline. DS1 was 5 when another boy passed comment about nail varnish and his interest was destroyed in one moment.

Rigid, impractical uniform policies irritate me as a teacher. Too much time gets wasted on being side tracked by minor infringements to no educational detriment. I have had the pleasure of working in a non uniform school and it was a delight, so comfortable to dress to the weather (in poorly heated/ ventilated classrooms), zero impact on the kids' learning, and no timewasting quibbling over analysing if a shoe is a trainer or the skirt the right length etc etc.

OkOkWhatsNext · 14/03/2019 22:21

Try Doctor Martens shoes. About the same price as Clarks.

SwimmingJustKeepSwimming · 14/03/2019 22:21

Same as the argument for not sending a red jumper when they have a green one, or a non logod jumper when they say logod, or short sleeve when they say long sleeve or stripy summer dress when they say checked....

School have made the choices they have. Its a uniform. You chose the school, you wear the uniform. Neither boys or girls can wear knee high boots. Its not difficult!

StatisticallyChallenged · 14/03/2019 22:24

My DD and at least half the class wear boots over winter, varying in length from ankle to high calf length. They all wear skirts, it's Scotland and fucking cold. School would get told where to go if they tried to ban boots.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 14/03/2019 22:25

My DD has worn boots to school for years, with no issue (she is 11). They are warm and comfortable and practical. She has trainers in school for PE. Your child, your business imo. Uniform is unenforceable for primary school kids anyway, so I would tell school to discuss with you and not her if they take umbrage with a parental decision.

Friedspamfritters · 14/03/2019 22:27

I do think it's a bit ridiculous to send children into school as if they work in an office. They're going to be spending at least part of their day running around a playground - they need to wear something practical.

GreenTulips · 14/03/2019 22:30

It’s not a parental decision though is it? OP clearly says it’s her DDs choice and OP isn’t enforcing the school rules

Let her be a princess at home.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 14/03/2019 22:30

they don’t have to explain themselves to you.
That would be a shitty attitude for a school to take if they expect any parental involvement/cooperation at any point in the future.
And actually, schools do have to explain themselves to parents. We don't give up our PR when our kids cross the threshold.

AlexaAmbidextra · 14/03/2019 22:32

They have now told her that she has to wear her pe pumps inside. Which has made her feel sad

Sad? Really? Well, rather than indulging her ‘sadness’, now is your opportunity to encourage her to be a bit more robust before she gets older and faces real disappointments in life.

UnspiritualHome · 14/03/2019 22:32

What exactly does the uniform policy say about footwear?

kateandme · 14/03/2019 22:35

sorry totally off thread but just looking at those shoes which are the same as I had decades ago!