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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu-Allowing d's to wear knee high boots for school

229 replies

Shippers87 · 14/03/2019 18:33

Posting here for opinions as I'm annoyed at the attitude of the teachers at my dd's school.

She is 6 years old and we bought her some black flat boots that sit just under the knee for school on days where it is cold/wet/windy as frankly the Mary Jane style shoes that are normally sold for girls are not suitable for this weather.

School assistant has kept asking my dd where her shoes are and went on to say she can't wear her boots.

It does not say this in the school uniform rules. Nor are they not practical as she is comfier in them than normal school shoes.

So I said next time they ask for my dd to tell the teacher that I let her wear them.

They have now told her that she has to wear her pe pumps inside. Which has made her feel sad.

Can they do this ?

I know there is no legislation saying that UK school children have to wear uniform but I feel this is a bit petty seeing as in this day and age you can wear knee high boots in certain workplaces

I don't pick her up/drop her off due to working full time so am thinking of writing a letter as I am unable to speak to them after school

OP posts:
Malbecfan · 14/03/2019 19:41

In my first teaching school we had a number of parents like the OP who questioned everything. The Head's response was "our uniform/homework/whatever policy was given to you when you came to visit the school before choosing it. If you don't agree to it, please go elsewhere as we have a waiting list of students wanting to join us who will abide by our rules." They never left, they just stopped whining to us.

The rule says shoes, so get your DD some shoes. End of. She can be girly, wear her pinky glittery unicorns, boots or crop tops in her own time. You have a point about girls' footwear being less robust than boys, so change the boots, wellies or waders when you get to school.

Soubriquet · 14/03/2019 19:41

I don’t think that’s ideal for school either

On wet days, my dd wears her wellies to walk to and from school, but changes into her school shoes once she’s there. Can’t yours do that?

babysharkah · 14/03/2019 19:43

Boots aren't shoes. Simple.

RippleEffects · 14/03/2019 19:44

Boots, black leather mid calf or ankle, are common place at my youngests primary. She lives in boots September to Easter. Changes to shoes and summer uninform for the summer term.

OddCat · 14/03/2019 19:46

£44 for a pair of kids shoes !!!!?!!
Jesus .

capaciousbladder · 14/03/2019 19:51

Not really a battle I'd choose to fight. There's plenty of more appropriate footwear options for bad weather days. I'd rather foster a friendly, mutually respectful relationship with my child's school and not make my child unhappy due to the consequences of my poor decisions. There's a time to question the rules. This is not it.

MargotLovedTom1 · 14/03/2019 19:53

YANBU. In the school in which I work many young girls wear winter boots. Not once have I heard a complaint from a child about being uncomfortable when sitting down, about not being able to get the boots on and off, about not having anywhere to store them during PE and any other spurious reason given for not allowing them.
What I do see is girls wearing practical and warm footwear in inclement weather. I really don't see a valid reason for not allowing them.

Pinkbells · 14/03/2019 19:58

I agree that a lot of the girls shoes are impractical, I saw a child walking back today with her shiny low shoes slipping as she went. My two boys have comfy, waterproof rugged clarks shoes but the girls ones are so much less substantial. Having said that boots are a very strange choice for school, I am not surprised they're disallowed.

Pinkbells · 14/03/2019 20:01

£44 for a pair of kids shoes !!!!?!!
Jesus .
That's completely normal, the last school shoe shop for my two were £48 each. I haven't seen them for much less, to be honest.

Farmerswifey12 · 14/03/2019 20:05

I must live on another planet because it is common practice here for girls to wear shoes in spring and autumn and have boots (a mix of ankle or knee high) all through winter. I never knew that it wasn't "a thing" everywhere else.

I genuinelly don't see the issue at all and don't understand why the school are wasting their time over it

ThreeBagsFullofWool · 14/03/2019 20:08

Seems like a lot of fuss over a pair of boots.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 14/03/2019 20:18

We had to change into plimsols 20+ years ago! I still remember our teacher shouting at us to hurry up! Good times Smile

Walkingdeadfangirl · 14/03/2019 20:21

Boots are outdoor wear, shoes are indoor wear. YABU to undermine the school. Maybe contact the Daily Mail?

Waffles80 · 14/03/2019 20:24

It’s ironic that so many people are “brought up to question things” yet never learnt to think for themselves...

WorraLiberty · 14/03/2019 20:25

she is ridiculously girly and would not entertain wearing unisex or boy shoes

She's 6 years old ffs

She should be 'entertaining' whatever shoes she's told to wear.

Stompythedinosaur · 14/03/2019 20:28

My dds both wear boots to school in winter, as do most of the girls in their class. I think they are more practical, and they seem comfy in them.

If the school don't want boots I would ask them to change the uniform policy to reflect this.

thaegumathteth · 14/03/2019 20:31

Dd and All her friends wear knee high boots to school all winter. Never an issue BUT they have an indoor shoe policy so they only wear them to and from school and in the playground.

Doobydoobeedoo · 14/03/2019 20:32

"we bought her some black flat boots that sit just under the knee for school on days where it is cold/wet/windy as frankly the Mary Jane style shoes that are normally sold for girls are not suitable for this weather."

I would've thought that skirts weren't all that suitable for this kind of weather either! You will look a bit silly if you insist that the boots are necessary to keep DD's legs warm and then send her to school in a skirt.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/03/2019 20:38

@Shippers87 don't be that parent. Your child doesn't get to go to school Inn what er she feels comfortable in because you CHOSE to send. Her to a school with a uniform policy.
If tomorrow she wants to wear her onsie will you say of course baby, you can wear whatever you want to or will you say no, put on your uniform? It's the same with footwear. If the policy states shoes she needs shoes. If you don't want her in MJ's buy her something else. If her legs are cold out her in tights or trousers.
Not in boots
Not in a onsie
Not with an extreme hairstyle
Not with her ears pierced on the Saturday before term starts

And the answer to "but why" is because yo signed her up to attend at a school that has rules and policies.

Don't like it, pull her out of scho and home Ed her

Original poster
Shippers87 · 14/03/2019 21:43

It's funny as on extra cold days she wears her trousers over her boots and no one says a thing... we have a couple of pairs of trousers but like any other 6 year old they get messy easily and we have pinafores and skirts as well as trousers to habe a clean outfit every day to last the 5 day week and so her uniform "wardrobe"suitable for year round weather.. don't we want to teach our girls to be strong and independent.. some people have said she is only 6 yesrs old... you ha e to give children respect and reasons behind decisions and rules .. i.e no tv in the morning as it will distract you and you'll be late...as a lot of you have mentioned it's my choice but it's her that has picked this over her shoes..
I think the reason it's got to me so much is not the boots thing per say but in this modern day world it's important to express yourself where you can on your likes dislikes.. beliefs and respect people for their choices and not to judge and it seems like a lot of people are quite happy to play the sheep.

OP posts:
MargotLovedTom1 · 14/03/2019 21:43

Dooby Eh? A combination of a skirt, woolly tights and leather boots is likely to be warmer than trousers, socks and shoes Confused.

Original poster
Shippers87 · 14/03/2019 21:52

Thankyou MargotLovedTom1 my point exactly and we are in the north west so this week have been experiencing horrific wind rain and potential flooding.. I'm not saying we would let her wear this on a fair weather day.. in my opinion she is making suitable choices for the weather we are having and won't want to wear her boots when the weather settles down

OP posts:
SwimmingJustKeepSwimming · 14/03/2019 21:54

She presumably doesnt get to choose to wear a diferent colour school jumper or choose to wear a tutu to express herself either at school. Neither of which wpuld be a problem in a school with no uniform.

But its a school with uniform
You wear the uniform....

Original poster
Shippers87 · 14/03/2019 21:56

To put it in perspective I normally wear court shoes for work but due to it being freezing my feet get too cold so have been wearing boots myself albiet not ankle not knee high as I tend to wear skinny trousers and a nice blouse or at the min jumper . It's all about dressing in what you feel comfortable in as long as it looks smart

OP posts:
RainbowMum11 · 14/03/2019 21:57

My DD has boots for winter - Mary Janes aren't suitable, her tights get wet & her feet get cold.
Nothing has been said - lots of the girls wear black boots in winter, boys have little boot/high top shoes to keep their feet dry & warm.