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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is this RIDICULOUS!!! - Wedding

407 replies

HappyHattie · 14/03/2019 10:16

I get married in 12 weeks time.

I booked a hairstylist over eight months ago! After careful consideration...etc. (I’d heard good things about this salon/ read reviews online).

I asked to come in for a trial earlier but was told no, not until 2-3 months before- this seemed to be standard practise amongst wedding hair stylist...so fine.

Went for my ‘trial’ the other day (keeping in mind that it’s a stately home wedding, and I have two very shy under 10 flower girls looking forward to getting their hair done, so I want the morning getting ready to be chilled out...etc)

The woman I’d expected (heard good things about) was no longer there. The woman who did my hair was...not right. I’m not even kidding. My mother (who came with me) had to go for a walk, she felt so uncomfortable and some of the things the salon staff were saying 🙄.

Also, heavily tattooed (sleeves down both arms and neck). Long black acrylic nails- absoloutley wouldn’t look right in any getting ready pics. And my hair started falling out 30 mine after I left 😒

Not an option. So I rang about 20 other wedding hair stylists yesterday to be told...sorry we book like a year in advance. Which is fair enough, but if none of them offer trials until 2-3 months before the date, then what the hell are you supposed to do if your trial goes horribly???

You have no other choice!!!

Short of not getting a hairstylist (and we need one)...I have no idea what the hell to do!

OP posts:

Thread gallery

x2boys · 14/03/2019 11:58

Matilda

mimibunz · 14/03/2019 11:59

The phlebotomist at my GP had both arms filled with tattoos and a few piercings as well. Damn good a taking blood! Anyway, I wouldn’t want her showing up on the day looking rough and ruining the getting ready photos. Why can’t she be judged on her appearance in a professional context? I wouldn’t have been hired to do my basic admin job if I didn’t look professional and appropriate for the work environment.

ahtellthee · 14/03/2019 11:59

Are you serious?

Ugh.

MatildaTheGreat · 14/03/2019 12:03

And here is one taken at the local hairdressers. She did have tattoos, but I just asked the artist to paint her arms, well, arm coloured.

Kennehora · 14/03/2019 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Piffle11 · 14/03/2019 12:06

My regular hairdresser came to the hotel where I was staying (and where we were getting married) and did my hair: she was not in any of my photos, nor would she want to be. My MoH did her own hair and the two younger Bmaids (sisters) went to their local hairdresser before joining me at the hotel. I had popped into their hairdresser and showed them what I wanted before the appointment. This 'hairdresser/make up artist in the photos' thing isn't necessary, you know: I remember years ago that hairdressers never left their salon and brides would sit in the chair getting their hair done and sometimes veil attached.

Lweji · 14/03/2019 12:07

But I didn't have a hair stylist and look what happened.

eggsandwich · 14/03/2019 12:10

When I got married 23 years ago I also booked way in advance at the salon for my hair to be done, also had a couple of trials prior stylist assured my she would definitely be doing mine and my little bridesmaids hair on my wedding day, I said any problems please ring me.

Guess what?
My bridesmaid and myself turned up to oh she on holiday!
I kid you not I was bloody furious and said why didn’t anyone ring me to tell me that?
Anyway another stylist did my hair but it wasn’t how I wanted it and I nearly washed it and styled it myself when I got back, looking at my wedding photos I wished I had it was one ofmy biggest disappointments of my wedding day.

Margot33 · 14/03/2019 12:10

Use a mobile hairdresser. Pay for a trial so you know it's good.

Omzlas · 14/03/2019 12:11

Getting ready photos? They would have involved me running round like a blue arsed fly and then wrestling into suck in pants. Not a pretty sight.

YABU about tattoos and nails. Stop being such a shallow and pretentious princess. She sounds like the sort or hairdresser I'd prefer to visit as she doesn't sound like an Instagram and Snapchat filter obsessed Barbie doll type. My hairdresser has green hair though, maybe I'm biased

YANBU about the hair if it genuinely started falling out 30 mins after but did you go back and tell her? You sound biased because you were offended over comments which you can't or won't say. Meaning nobody can actually judge of they're crude etc or if you're still being a princess.

JacquesHammer · 14/03/2019 12:13

Anyway, I wouldn’t want her showing up on the day looking rough and ruining the getting ready photos

"Looking rough"?

Attitudes like yours are really unpleasant - happy to see someone with tattoos and let them do their job (who knew, tattoos don't affect that at all....) and yet sneer about them "looking rough".

bigbluebus · 14/03/2019 12:13

Does the wedding hairdresser now need to have a makeover before they can do the bride's hair now because they will appear in the 'wedding' photographs? I've heard it all now!

I'm so glad that I got married 30 years ago. The nonsense I read about on MN regarding weddings just astounds me. I had what would have been described as a traditional wedding of its era. I had my hair done by my usual back street hairdresser in the morning, came home and did my own make up before getting dressed in my bedroom together with my 2 bridesmaids who did their own hair and makeup.
My 'pre-wedding' photos consisted of a couple of shots of me walking up the driveway at home with my bridesmaids and my dad.

OP I cannot believe that you can't get an appointment with a hairdresser 12 weeks before your wedding. Why does it have to be a wedding hairdresser (didn't even know there was such a thing). Surely most salons with more than a few staff have someone who is good at styling a particular type of hair? - I presume you are talking about long hair here!

I hope you have a long and happy marriage but fear that if this is the sort of thing that you think is important then it is unlikely to be so

GladAllOver · 14/03/2019 12:13

This was answered on the first page.
Getting ready photos? Who gives a shit about that?
Just find a normal hairdresser or a member of the wedding party who’s good at doing hair.
A get a (hair) grip. It’s one day. Then you have the rest of your married life together, the important bit.

Lweji · 14/03/2019 12:13

How do wedding hair stylists get styled to show up on pre-wedding photos? Do they have their own stylists?

Kennehora · 14/03/2019 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JacquesHammer · 14/03/2019 12:15

I wouldn’t have been hired to do my basic admin job if I didn’t look professional and appropriate for the work environment

(a) There is absolutely no correlation between a creative industry and an office environment - one could say given she has a creative side she is absolutely appropriate for her work environment

(b) I was a solicitor - they didn't bat an eyelid over my tattoos and piercings because it had no bearing on how I do my job.

Booboostwo · 14/03/2019 12:19

You need to advertise for a conservative looking but not too pretty (that way she won’t upstage you) hair stylist or politely ask her to wear a bag over her head. Problem solved.

thedisorganisedmum · 14/03/2019 12:20

oh come on, everybody knows that when you make the choice of having visible tattoos you will be judged by them, and you will be refused some jobs. It's the same with make up, with hair, and your dress code.

Let's not be hypocritical about it. Sure, some companies don't care, but others do. It's the same with private clients, some are fine, some aren't. It's not exactly a big deal is it.

Technically most of us could do their job perfectly well wearing a bikini and flip flops. You still won't get a job offer if you haven't got a suit on.

Farmerswifey12 · 14/03/2019 12:21

Hi OP, when I got married I paid a fortune for a lady to come and do my hair and make up, she was lovely but didn't do anything a good salon wouldn't have been able to do for a fraction of the price. If you have time to go to a salon that morning I think that would be the best option? Phone around the good ones in your area and have trials to see.

Trust me you can have getting ready photos but it won't make or break the day of you don't. I get that you want the day to be perfect but you might need to be a bit flexible here. You can still have get to g ready photos, ie getting your dress laced up by bridesmaid etc

SquigglySquaw · 14/03/2019 12:21

I think you're getting some really unfair comments here OP. I would want getting ready photos at my wedding too, it's a part of the day and you want to look back on it with photos. Nothing wrong with that at all. I also get that if you don't like that kind of thing, you obviously wouldn't want heavily tattooed arms in your photos. It's your day, you are entitled to have it look how you want it to.

I would put it on Facebook, ask your friends and family to see if they know anyone. I'm sure you'll find someone that can do it.

Good luck and I hope you have a lovely wedding day!

DrWhy · 14/03/2019 12:24

No particular view of the hairdresser situation but to all those people bring cynical about ‘getting ready photos’. I had no idea they were a thing until my own wedding but some of the photos I treasure most from my own wedding where from when dad arrived to take me to the church, we were all still a bit informal and I’ve got a picture of him doing up my necklace and looking at me with such love and pride in his eyes, he died 18 months later. Don’t knock people’s choice for wanting these personal family moments captured on camera.
That said my sisters hairdressers tattoos are awesome and looked just great in the photos!

JacquesHammer · 14/03/2019 12:25

You still won't get a job offer if you haven't got a suit on

You do know there are countless industries where you don't need a suit to wear, let alone interview

Last person we hired was wearing a Cradle of Flith t-shirt

BulletWithABun · 14/03/2019 12:26

Am I missing something? Why do you need a hairdresser if your hair fell out after 30 minutes? Surely this means you won't be needing a hairstyle. Maybe she's done you a favour.
Wear a nice woolly hat with a pompom.

AlexaAmbidextra · 14/03/2019 12:27

Quite normal to have 'getting ready' pictures of the bride and groom (starting from the dressing room, surrounded by giggling and smiling friends and family, gentle ragging and teasing etc - precious moments)

🤮. What a lot of ridiculous hoo-haa surrounds weddings these days.

briaroas · 14/03/2019 12:28

There is a great group on Facebook wedding items for sale uk (assuming you are in the uk) post on there for recommendations in your area.

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