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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or is this RIDICULOUS!!! - Wedding

407 replies

HappyHattie · 14/03/2019 10:16

I get married in 12 weeks time.

I booked a hairstylist over eight months ago! After careful consideration...etc. (I’d heard good things about this salon/ read reviews online).

I asked to come in for a trial earlier but was told no, not until 2-3 months before- this seemed to be standard practise amongst wedding hair stylist...so fine.

Went for my ‘trial’ the other day (keeping in mind that it’s a stately home wedding, and I have two very shy under 10 flower girls looking forward to getting their hair done, so I want the morning getting ready to be chilled out...etc)

The woman I’d expected (heard good things about) was no longer there. The woman who did my hair was...not right. I’m not even kidding. My mother (who came with me) had to go for a walk, she felt so uncomfortable and some of the things the salon staff were saying 🙄.

Also, heavily tattooed (sleeves down both arms and neck). Long black acrylic nails- absoloutley wouldn’t look right in any getting ready pics. And my hair started falling out 30 mine after I left 😒

Not an option. So I rang about 20 other wedding hair stylists yesterday to be told...sorry we book like a year in advance. Which is fair enough, but if none of them offer trials until 2-3 months before the date, then what the hell are you supposed to do if your trial goes horribly???

You have no other choice!!!

Short of not getting a hairstylist (and we need one)...I have no idea what the hell to do!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
MammaG1417 · 14/03/2019 10:50

Can't you do a google search of the stylist you wanted originally? Find out where she is working now?

Stayawayfromitsmouth · 14/03/2019 10:51

Hopefully you've booked a very nice sedate looking vicar for your ceremony. If it's a civil ceremony you could get any looking person doing it.
You also can't dictate what guests will turn up wearing.
The hairdresser is too bad but you have plenty of time to find an alternative.
The photos (no-one does this), you could either embrace her look/ photoshop / or even get a stand in to pretend they are doing your hair for photos....

AdobeWanKenobi · 14/03/2019 10:52

I have a bloody great 'getting ready' photo from my wedding aeons ago taken by my dad on a disposable camera. It's me and my Mum, sat at the kitchen table in my childhood home with fag in hand (I gave up) deep in conversation.
Every time I look at it I wonder what we were talking about and wish I could go back to that moment.

You can't pose that stuff, and nor should you.

CatG85 · 14/03/2019 10:52

I think you'd get less judgement and more help/advice if you just explained everything in one message (like she was saying crude things including...… and her tattoos were offensive such as ….) instead of drip feeding.

It's your wedding day, I would have pushed for a trial or told them you'd go elsewhere and I'm sure they would have given you the trial you wanted and if not good, you could have had another or had time to book someone else.

It sounds as if you're a bit stuck.

captainmarvella · 14/03/2019 10:53

I am not sure if it's such a crime for OP to wish for a certain theme / colour / look for her wedding album. It's her day. It's her wish. May be her theme is to have a pink frilly wedding (I wouldn't know, just guessing here) and she doesn't want any edgy look (and I say this as a fan of tattoes). Saying so doesn't make her a horrible person. We have all been some level bridezillas on our special day.

And I don't get the disdain at the getting ready pics either. It's very much a thing in my part of the world. Quit normal to have 'getting ready' pictures of the bride and groom (starting from the dressing room, surrounded by giggling and smiling friends and family, gentle ragging and teasing etc - precious moments) in the album.

OP, I don't have a suggestion for you. But if you don't want to have the tattooed stylist in your album, I suggest you start searching for alternative arrangement right now, you have three months. But be advised you may not be able to find the perfect person at such short notice. You might even have to go with student / freelance stylists.

Bunnyfuller · 14/03/2019 10:54

There’s me thinking getting married is about...er...getting married, not judging your hairdresser for how she might look in the photo.

Wow. You sound lovely

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/03/2019 10:55

I appreciate Why would she this is probably me being a bit thick, but Why would she be on your wedding photos.
#Confusedtwit

waterrat · 14/03/2019 10:56

OP my friend came round when I was getting ready and helped me do my hair - we just tied it up and put some flowers on it.

Honestly - Some things really matter with a wedding and some you have to let go.

Just see this as a little lesson from the universe in letting go of the small stuff (and it's all small stuff)

If you start worrying too much about hair (and 'getting ready pictures!!! )) you honestly will not enjoy your day.

It's just meant to be fun - use your normal hairdresser. Don't pay over the odds for wedding hair whatever...

pinkyredrose · 14/03/2019 10:56

OP what was 'not right' about the stylist? Her stylist skills, coversation or appearance?

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 14/03/2019 10:56

The woman you booked had left, they should have told you that when she left so you could have rearranged then.

I’d try mobile and reconsider the style so it’s simpler and ppl are more likely to get it right.

If you do a new thread with your area ppl might give recommendations

rainingonmyfireworks · 14/03/2019 10:57

in the future getting ready pics will feature the bride to be in her wedding underwear no doubt.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/03/2019 10:58

Fuck me that comments off its bonce.
Start again, baby spider.

I appreciate this is probably me being a bit thick, but. Why would she be in your wedding photos.
#Confusedtwit

HellonHeels · 14/03/2019 10:59

Placemarking to find out what the tatts looked like.

x2boys · 14/03/2019 10:59

I don't think the hair dresser is going to be on the wedding ohotos,Aww just the "getting read pics" Grin

JacquesHammer · 14/03/2019 10:59

I have a bloody great 'getting ready' photo from my wedding aeons ago taken by my dad on a disposable camera. It's me and my Mum, sat at the kitchen table in my childhood home with fag in hand (I gave up) deep in conversation.
Every time I look at it I wonder what we were talking about and wish I could go back to that moment

Flowers

I have one similar - I'm standing with my mum by the window, hair done (no pics of this Wink ) in a scratty dressing gown scoffing a bacon butty Grin

amymel2016 · 14/03/2019 11:00

I can guarantee OP that a year after the wedding you won’t give two poops about your ‘getting ready’ photos.

Ask your normal hairdresser for advice or go back to the woman and say you don’t like what she did, can she do it again.

onalongsabbatical · 14/03/2019 11:00

Easier to worry about this than the pre-nup on your other thread OP?

Stinkytoe · 14/03/2019 11:01

OP has probably already paid her photographer for a package including the getting ready pics. They seem to be a fairly standard part of wedding photography and my pre-wedding photos are some of my favourites of me and my friends/ family.

The photographers are pretty good at having the stylist in the photo but not of that makes sense, the focus won’t be on him/her so their appearance won’t really matter.

I wouldn’t be happy if my hair didn’t stay in, that’s the key here. It’s also unprofessional for the salon to say you’d booked with X and you actually get Y.

There will be some hairdressers available for your day, it’s going to take a lot of phone calls but you’ll find someone!

BeGoodTanya · 14/03/2019 11:02

Nonsense, OP. If you hire the hairdresser, you get to dip her in industrial-strength pancake body-makeup, get her a French manicure and stick her in a nice floral frock that co-ordinates with the flower girls' sashes. And maybe a wig with a nice bouncy blowdry, because I'm sure her hair was all wrong, too.

That way she won't detract from the carefully-posed 'candid' shots of the bridesmaids giggling girlishly over champagne flutes, the flower girls bouncing adorably on the bed in their petticoats and flower crowns, and the crowning shot of The Dress hanging from the curtain rail in reverent close up. Apparently, a photo 'showcasing' your Bridal Lingerie is now a thing, too.

Sparklesocks · 14/03/2019 11:02

Awwlookatmybabyspider she means the getting ready ones at the beginning, when bride/bridesmaids are all getting dressed/styled and everyone is smiley/slurping bubbles. Normally they have a few shots of the stylist/MUA doing the bride's hair and make up - apparently this specific hair stylist would apparently ruin these!

asleepinperfectbluebuildings · 14/03/2019 11:02

Jesus, the OP and I wouldn't get along, I have tattoos and I'm doing my own "wedding hair". I bet my wedding photos are going to be horrific Hmm
However, I'm getting married for the marriage, not because I'm superficial, so I'm not bothered about the pictures.

Also, if you go into a hair salon with the attitude you've displayed in your post, I'm not surprised nobody else wants to do it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/03/2019 11:03

MarthasGinYard
I also remember op from the prenup thread.

Yes, love, you’ve got far more to worry about than your updo. I hope when it all goes wrong and if you have kids he actually comes good on letting you stay in the marital home.... the home you will only every own 25% of regardless of what it is worth, your earning capacity and state of health.

SausageMashandOnionGravy · 14/03/2019 11:03

I suppose I sort of get that you won’t get the shots of having hair done... I actually went to my normal hairdressers and they opened early for us so they could do our hair so I didn’t have pictures of getting my hair done. We then drove to the venue which was 25 min away where we hired a makeup artist to come out and do makeup.

I never really thought about the getting ready pics but I actually got some really nice photos of me and my bridesmaids getting our makeup done. The makeup artist is clearly in the pics, I can see what you mean about the tattoos etc, although everyone on here will say you are ridiculous. I get it, but it never crossed my mind beforehand that she’d be in all our pics, luckily was dressed appropriately etc.

I just had a thought I was at a wedding fair and spoke to a photographer his opening line was “I’m very relaxed you take me how I am, I don’t believe in getting dressed up, i’ll wear What I like” ... he looked like a tramp!!! We carried on walking.... He wouldn’t have actually be in any pics and I still didn’t want him there looking like a scruff!

Gone4Good · 14/03/2019 11:05

I'm 65 and hadn't been to a hairdresser for exactly 20 yrs because of series of very bad haircuts. (I was told the last one made me look like Myra Hindley)! Anyway, I'm standing in the check-out at Walmart and see this young man sweeping up hair in the hair salon there. He's got a black crewcut with a bright crimson mohawk thing going on on the top - and tats. Lots of tats.

Overcoming my shyness, feeling brave, I approach him and ask him if he can give me a non old-lady haircut. He seems to 'get me' and gives me the best haircut ever. It's all Chelsea-girl around the fringe and sides and sticking up on top a bit. Holy-shit. I'm so pleased.

Then, feeling empowered I went into the opticians/eyeglass place next-door (still inside Walmart) and browse Sophia Loren frames. The young girl who worked there approaches me and said, "Not those! Those are old lady frames. Try these". She steered me to some trendy frames that suited me to a T. Wow.

Give me an edgy looking hairdresser any day.

rainingonmyfireworks · 14/03/2019 11:05

i don't think op isn't coming back peeps, aibu is brutally honest, but op did ask /drip feed,did she really think we'd agree with such a narrow minded opinion of someone else ?i think tattoo shaming is the new thing. personally i like them and have 9, they do not scare dogs, little old ladies or small furry animals Grin