... to want a dog to add to the madness of family life?

[LeopardPrintKnickers]

I mean, my life is pretty damned busy. I have three active kids and a demanding business, and yet I find I'm constantly yearning for a dog. While every part of me thinks I must be mad to add another layer of complexity to my life, I also can't help but think of the positives it would bring.

The cons as I see them are: being tied to the house more (our youngest two children are still primary age so we don't do spontaneous trips away anyway), picking up poo (gag), potential smell in the house, another mouth to feed, walks in all weathers, and the cost.

However, the pros are also there: I think a dog would help simplify my life in some ways - forcing me to take a break and go for a walk (I always feel 1000 times better for getting outdoors, but never do without a reason), encouraging us as a family to get outdoors more, and I think it's great for the kids to have a dog around. I love the idea of a gentle companion for them, and for us too. While our lives are busy, we can work from home and our eldest is often at home as he's at college part-time. The security element is reassuring too.

Am I mad? What were the reasons you wanted a dog? Did you ever regret it? Am I overlooking a massive pro or con?

Yes you are mad. I have had two dogs and 4 children. Dogs are a massive commitment for 14 years. I loved my dogs with all my heart but they are very needy. You need to give give give. Yes you get a lot back but it really is not something to take on lightly. You would be better considering dog walking someone elses, or fostering or something that i not a lifelong thing iclding dedicating a lot of your life to training, not leaving them for more than a few hours, dealing with any problems caused by stress ( like a chaotic household) If you are busy, please dont do this. You will end up rehoming a sad and confused dog. The cons you list are a whole pile bigger than the slightly utopian idea of being a dog owner

We got one for all the reasons you have said above.

In fact, I'm about to take her out in this gale force wind and I don't even care about the weather.

We absolutely adore her. We are definitely doing more as a family. It has made us far less lazy.

We got a puppy, so sometimes it's hard work, but the pros well outweigh the cons.

We wouldn't be without her and she has definitely enriched our lives.

Beetle, thank you for talking sense into me. I needed a harsh dose of reality, and that's definitely helped, thank you.

"Vibez*, you see, yes, this is what I'm thinking... enriching our lives, making us more active and having someone else to love...

My DS (18) was desperate for a DDog so we gave in about 5 years ago and got a rescue lurcher.
DDog is wonderful- very gentle and affectionate etc. but he does create a lot of mess (our garden is now mud, we have to wipe muddy paws etc. when he comes in, wipe up spilled food etc., wash sofa covers A LOT).
DS was overjoyed to start wth but now doesn't pay him loads of attention although I really do think he is happier because he has DDog around when we are out etc.
Would I do it again if I could go back in time- probably yes.
Would I get another dog in the future- now DS is grown up, probably not- they are a lot of work, and I now work full time. Perhaps if I worked from home/ worked part time then yes.
(And re dog smell- lurchers are quite good at not being that smelly apparently- I very occasionally get a faint whiff but that was something I had researched beforehand. There are other breeds too which apparently don't- Dalmations (hairy though) and Maltese Terriers spring to mind- but definitely get a lurcher -they are fab- if you are getting a dog).

I think you getting a dog at this stage is a massively bad idea. Thinking that your children will help care for the dog is simply misguided. All of the burden will fall on your shoulders, I assure you. What if this dog has chronic health problems? It is massively expensive and draining, and I know this through bitter experience. I love dogs and have had several over my lifetime, so my opinion is well-informed. You should not get a dog.

Everything positive vibez said. Go in eyes wide open. Expect and accept to be the only one taking responsibility

You're mad. Dogs are a massive tie, an expensive and a commitment that can last 12+ years.

• at least one if not two walks a day, no matter what the weather is doing, no matter how shit you feel, no matter whether you've got two vomiting children - the dog needs to go out. A play in the garden is no substitute for a decent walk and dogs, young ones especially, will soon find their own entertainment at home if they're not walked daily.

• the mess. My dog manages to come back covered in mud - feet, belly, ears - in winter he tends to need a hosing down every time he has a walk, and his feet need wiping every time he comes in from the garden. Then there's the toys that end up everywhere, the fur that will end up on everything and the general smell of "dog".

• the commitment. You can't leave a dog all day. What are you going to do if you want to take the kids to the zoo? Or a theme park? Dogs aren't invited so you need to make plans to either be back after 4 hours, or pay for someone to come in and tend to the dog. What about work? What will the dog do while you're working?

• the cost. They're not cheap. Insurance, food, toys, leads, harnesses, collars (you'll need more than one as they grow up and chew them!) - it all adds up. Then the cost of a walker or daycare if you want a day out, kennels if you go on holiday, and vaccinations, flea and worm treatment. It soon adds up.

• the puppy stage. Puppies are HARD. They pee and poo in the house, need watching constantly so they don't get into mischief. They can't use the stairs, they can't go for long walks yet need a lot of entertainment at home. Where is the dog going to sleep? Can you keep dog and kids apart at all times when you're not around?

Please have a real think about the commitment side of things. I love my dog and have no issue with all the work involved, but I also don't have small children to take care of, or a business to run. They are a LOT of work and a big tie.

Oh yes, I'm not expecting the kids to pitch in, plus eldest is likely to head off to uni in the next couple of years realistically. DH is reluctant, so I know a dog would be my responsibility. Hence why I'm stalling and questioning whether it would be madness or not... Thanks for your thoughts Tractortod

ilovemylurcher, your dog sounds adorable, and thanks for sharing your experience. Muddy garden and mucky sofas are definitely not my ideal situation!

Aquamarine, thanks for your honesty, it's really appreciated.

Ime doggy madness blends right in to dc chaos... Nothing like seeing your dc +ddog sharing a moment to make it all worthwhile ime.

adaline, massively helpful thank you!

Would never get a dog ever again. I have 4DC and my OH was desperate as were the DC. I wasn’t keen at all. They did the research and got the puppy. From then on it’s been a nightmare, Dc not interested, the dog isn’t a bouncy , ball playing type and is aloof and not bothered with the DC. He has allergies and needs medication and weekly baths and I now deal with the dog including walks. It’s a mass inconvenience, we stopped getting weekend invites to friends as they didn’t want a dog in the house, it limits choices when travelling and cottage types and it’s an added expense to any holiday to use kennels. So he ends up abroad with us which is a huge pain..... for me I am the only who cares about ensuring the dog is fed, watered and walked and I am massively annoyed about it. Yes I love my dog but won’t ever get another

Think carefully OP. Owning a dog is a massive commitment of time, you sound like you have your hands full as it is.

Your children won’t help you care for the dog but they will love it and their lives will be enriched by it.

For me a dog is important for a family home.

My Mum was a cat person when I was at home and I'd always wanted a dog. She finally let me have one when I was 11.

Once I'd moved out and was in a position to have a dog of my own I was never in any doubt about getting one.

Unfortunately it didn't stop there and I have 3. I had 5 at one point when my ex moved in with 2. I lost 2 to old age but kept one of his when we split 😊

I'd hate to be without a dog or 2. I don't have children though so my life isn't as busy!

You're welcome OP.

All that being said I love my dog and he's massively enriched our lives. He gets me out walking and exploring new places because it benefits him to have new places to sniff and explore. I've met loads of lovely people through dog walks and owning him is a great experience.

But some days it is hard. When you're tired and it's pissing rain and you have a cold and you STILL have to walk the dog otherwise he will drive you bonkers with the whining and scratching at the door to go out. If I don't walk mine for long enough in the morning he needs a second walk otherwise he just gets bored - and when he's bored, he chews!

I think you need to think about the bad along with the good. You could get a really easy going dog who is happy with two short walks a day and doesn't need much work, but equally you could end up with one that is destructive when left, takes months to toilet train, pulls on the lead - it can go either way!

At one mine is much easier than he was when he was a puppy but he still has his moments and sometimes it can be really frustrating. Think carefully about the breed you want and what they require in terms of exercise, grooming and mental stimulation and make sure you can provide that every single day.

i had my first dog when my son was 11 weeks old.........poo is poo whether its in a nappy or not LOL....TBH the dog poo was easier at times than my sons!!!!!!!!!!
Its personal choice i only lasted a few months after we lost him before i got another and im very fortunate i can take him to work with me. The kids wouldnt be without him. Most of the care is down to me but it doesnt bother me especially when i get cuddles at night time to say thank you!!!!!!!!

I would recommend a rescue.

We adore our dog. If and when we lose him though I'm not sure he'll be replaced because as the children are also getting older we wont want to be tied to only being able to leave the dog for the short periods that we can at weekends.

I think we'd go for one of the other options for having a dog in our lives - e.g volunteering at rescue centre and / or using the borrow my dog website. I'd be really up for the way that the later is a kind of 'dogshare' and the thought of helping someone out who is say elderly who wants the companionship of a dog but not to have to walk the dog whereas we'd do the opposite.

They are a massive commitment but they give so much back. We have two rescue dalmatians, both in the last year, one in April and one in December (failed foster, I couldn’t let him go). Dogs are 2&18 months so basically like 25kg toddlers. And a 14 month old. It is chaos and they need a lot of time, exercise and love-ours especially as both were from tough starts in life and need a lot of affection to reassure them we aren’t going anywhere. However, I cannot imagine life without them and they are the perfect fit for our family.
The HUGE swinging factor for us was that my parents lost their dog a couple years ago and whilst they don’t want another 24/7, they absolutely adore having ours and will happily take them out when they are off for a walk for the day, for weekends we are away and for holidays and will happily pop in if we are out for more than a few hours.

Think carefully about your plans for the likes of holidays and days out, and the realities of taking them out and so on. When DH or I are sick, the other one has to take both dogs and DS for a walk all together. Simple things like boot space and what boundaries you would want from the dogs are also important factors. We have had to hugely upscale our car, permanently are vaccuming and settling them in was hard the first few weeks as they needed 24/7 love and contact while they adjusted.

I short, the positives are amazing but please focus on the negatives and difficulties and assess whether they are feasible for you and your families. After seeing the damage that can be done to dogs moving homes in our two it really does leave a scar on them when it doesn’t work out

I was never a dog person but my other half was and our youngest DS was desperate for one.
We've ended up with two, they're lovely and I do love them but they are a bind. Holidays are an issue, days out are an issue, going to work is an issue (I was a SAHM when we got them 7 yrs ago but I work now). Everyone loves them and they have enriched our lives but once they go I have no great desire to replace them.

I bloody love my dog. She makes me smile every day and I really enjoy getting out and walking. I don’t work and sometimes the only people I chat to are those I meet dog walking.
But. Our lives revolve round her. As a pup we couldn’t leave her AT ALL. She ate through a wall at one point when I went for a wee.
Puppies are buggers. They bite. Everything. Including you and your kids.
Training takes time. It’s not six weeks of puppy training and then job done. I spent two years training every day.
They are expensive. Insurance is a must. Last procedure cost us over £800.
They are a tie. We can’t have a day out or book a holiday without thinking of the dog.
It takes time to find a rescue dog that suits you and most puppies sold in the U.K. are from disreputable breeders.
It’s hard work. Really hard work at times. But I adore my dog.
Think carefully OP.

Get a cat instead. Far less work and still a good, cuddly companion (as long as you make sure to get one that's well-handled as a kitten, or established as a bit of a lapcat by the shelter)

And yes, I know it's the same re: getting outdoors and security. I love dogs, too, but it really is like having an extra toddler, who remains a toddler for their entire life!

I've always wanted a dog. Couldn't have one as a child because my dad hated them.
Then once I left home it was long hours working, then moved in with DH and had kids, so didn't want a dog because they were still small.
Then I became a childminder and again didn't have a dog because of other people's children.
DDs are now teenagers and I'm working a maximum of 5 hours a day, so I could potentially get a dog.
BUT, we have two elderly cats 14+, so now not fair on them to bring in a dog into to the family.
The only option left for now to get my 'dog fix' is to volunteer at a shelter and take dogs for walks.
Been doing it for a few weeks now and it's interesting to see how the different breeds are on the lead.
One day maybe I'll have my own dog...

We have a dog, DC love him and he enriches their lives. I would never have another for the reasons that have been listed above. In fact I secretly wish we had got a type with a shorter life span, I would never admit this in RL. Our dog is leash reactive, doesn't like strangers in the house and generally has to be boarded when we holiday. We regularly spend almost as much on animal care as we do on accommodation when going on holiday. I can't quite bring myself to regret getting him as my DS gets so much out of having him but he is the last one.

Dogs are a fantastic addition to the family! I always wanted a dog as a child and never got one so vowed my children would grow up with dogs. I had my first dog as an adult then she died when the children were 3 and 5, now we have our second and the children idolise her. I'm at home all the time so it's not a problem for us, but there are so many dog walkers and sitters about that you can always find help looking after one. Go for it!