... to want a dog to add to the madness of family life?

[LeopardPrintKnickers]

I mean, my life is pretty damned busy. I have three active kids and a demanding business, and yet I find I'm constantly yearning for a dog. While every part of me thinks I must be mad to add another layer of complexity to my life, I also can't help but think of the positives it would bring.

The cons as I see them are: being tied to the house more (our youngest two children are still primary age so we don't do spontaneous trips away anyway), picking up poo (gag), potential smell in the house, another mouth to feed, walks in all weathers, and the cost.

However, the pros are also there: I think a dog would help simplify my life in some ways - forcing me to take a break and go for a walk (I always feel 1000 times better for getting outdoors, but never do without a reason), encouraging us as a family to get outdoors more, and I think it's great for the kids to have a dog around. I love the idea of a gentle companion for them, and for us too. While our lives are busy, we can work from home and our eldest is often at home as he's at college part-time. The security element is reassuring too.

Am I mad? What were the reasons you wanted a dog? Did you ever regret it? Am I overlooking a massive pro or con?

I have a dog and a 4 month old baby, the dog needs 2 hours walk a day. It's 50mph wind and rain here today and I could really do without taking the baby out in it, but tough, there's nobody else.
If I go away it's got to be a dog friendly hotel which costs extra, because she can't handle kennels.
She's allergic to nearly everything and ha to have special food. She's deaf and can't ever be let off the lead.
I love her, and she lives with me because she was going to be put down and I didn't want that to happen, but she's hard work.

I got my first dog 18 months ago and I love her to bits. She is the light of my life. I think that with regards to walking you have it the wrong way round. I love walking and thought a dog would be a great companion. I don’t believe a dog will make you take a break or get out more. Most likely you will do it but not get as much pleasure from the outdoors life as it won’t be for your pleasure.

I am retired and my dog takes up a lot of my time, money and created a lot of work. I don’t mind because I have nothing else to do. Puppies, of course, take a massive amount of your time but so do Rescues at first. She came from a loving home, but took 5 months and a lot of money on a behaviourist before she settled.

If I knew what I know now I would not of got my puppy. She 6 months old and is a pain in my arse!

Chews everything and anything (the stuff I find in her poo is unreal) she has ruined so many shoes it's a joke.

Even at 6 months she's still pissing and shifting in the house and will even piss in her crate and lay in it.

She has eaten shit from the nappy bin

Eats the shit in the litter tray if I don't get to it quick enough.

She has eaten the arms and legs off of 9 barbie dolls.

My teenage daughter (14&17) begged me to get a dog, told me they would pick up the shit, bath/walk/play with the dog. I argue with them constantly to do all those things. They never do it off their own backs.

I would think long and hard before making a decision.

I would highly recommend a cat though. I love my cat after never being a cat person he is great!

We got a dog as dd's older siblings were leaving home and we thought it might help. She loves the dog BUT, I walk her, feed her, bathe her, clean up after her, pick up her poo, play with her every day and dd has the odd fuss. We love her but she is a tie. If I want to go out for the day I have to arrange care for the dog. When we holiday we have to choose dog friendly accommodation, it is like having another toddler when your children have all grown up tbh. She makes us smile and enriches our lives but it does come at a cost both money wise and time wise. Don't get a dog unless your dh is on board and you know that the care will fall most likely solely on your shoulders.

Get one: the biggest mistake you’ll never regret.

I am a canine behaviourist so love dogs and couldn’t live without them BUT people do sometimes fail to visualise what they’ll do when:
-you’re all invited to stay with friends but can’t bring the dog as their cats are wary/one of them is allergic to dogs. It’s August to all the reputable dog boarders and pet sitters are booked up.
-you drive 30mins to the cinema, park up, watch a 2.5hr film, head to a restaurant for 2hrs, drop a friend home then return to the dog (too many hours home alone!)
-you have an important meeting at work/parents eve/theatre tickets booked but the dog needs an urgent vet visit.
-the dog develops a health condition and needs medication at regular intervals. You have to pay for monthly vet visits and tablets plus 20% VAT on both of these; the cost can spiral. Even if you had pet insurance, most policies only cover a condition for 12mths or those offering ‘lifetime cover’ increase your premiums at renewal time to the point where you cannot afford the monthly cost.
Etc etc.
But as a previous poster says, a rescue lurcher is an excellent choice for many

I got my first dog when I was 21 and there was just dh and I, he was amazing, toilet trained in 3 days, calm, confident and well behaved. He passed away last year.

We got a new puppy this year and the difference is unreal. Bringing a puppy into a house with two kids (9+4) has been hard work. The puppy barks at my youngest all the time. He gets overexcited in the morning and bites all our clothes. Still wee’s etc in the house. Took him to puppy socialisation classes and he’s terrified of even the tiniest of puppies and screams. So now needs private sessions with a behaviourist. Whines and jumps up at me whilst walking and is literally scared of the wind.

Spent most of today cleaning up diarrhoea including all up my stair carpet

I was really poorly for two weeks and couldn’t bear to have him near me, one morning he wee’d all over the kids uniform I had laid out. I actually messaged someone to try and give him away! (Definitely not giving him away, I was at breaking point)

However, I do love him and love having someone at home to talk to and cuddle etc!

The dog is often the starrw that breaks me!

She's a rescue so has some issues from her bad experiences that mean she can't easily be looked after by kennels/sitters etc so the stress of how we manage holidays, weekends away or even long days out is never far away.

She's old now and her insurance premiums are ridiculous but so are her vet bills. It's honestly money we could really do with putting towards the children.

She's starting waking me way before the dc get up which I am really struggling with after years of dc related sleep deprivation that's just getting easier.

I absolutely love walking her and getting out and about but I could borrow someone else's or even get paid to walk dogs!

I love that my dc have had the experience of such a beloved family pet but unless we had a lot more help and money there's no way we'd get another. I'm really envious of those without pets or those with lots of family help who can still go away or out easily.

@flowersaremyfave
Sounds like you need to go back to basics with the toilet training. Never leave a pup unattended near stuff they can chew. Because they will.
OP to toilet train a pup you have to watch it. All the time. Take it out after eating, drinking, playing, napping and every half an hour through the day. Can you manage that?

yes you're mental... but I have 3 dogs and 2 children and it's bloody hard.
The dogs were here first, and in all honesty, as much as I love and care about them so so much, if I could have looked into the future and predicted how hard it would be juggling it all, I wouldn't have got the dogs. As much as they add so much joy and enrichment to our lives (which they really do) they also add a hell of a lot of stress and inconvenience through no fault of their own, that's just dogs for you. Before children, they never seemed a burden, but now it's just extra mouths to feed, trying to fit in daily walks, stressing about petcare when we go away or have days out at the weekend, flea/worming/vaccines/vet treatment are more added costs, and sometimes I think life would be so much more simple pet free. Even things like going out for dinner, if we've been out all day, isn't possible without coming home first to let them out, and then you feel guilty they've been shut in all day and you're heading straight out. In all honesty, I just don't think dogs and family life are a great mix until the kids are old enough to help out, and there's enough spare time/energy to give to them. That's what they deserve. Luckily, ours are getting quite old now, so they don't crave the attention they did when younger, and are pretty easy going and low maintenance, sleep alot, and refuse to go for a walk if its raining (bonus!) but it's still hard to juggle it all and constantly leaves me feeling like I'm definitely not the 5* dog owner I used to be. The dogs never go without though, and they adore the chidlren and vice versa. We will probably get dogs again, but once these have passed, we will enjoy a lonnnnng few years dog free, and look to get another dog (never a puppy again!!) once our children are teenagers or older.
What about a cat?! Our cats are sooo easy and self sufficient. Don't affect daily life one bit, and still add alot of joy and fun to our family.

Don't do it!
My two DC ( primary age) begged for a dog. After a year of careful consideration we got a puppy. We all love puppy lots but it's a lot of extra work. I really hadn't expected to feel so tied and it's like having another (mischievous) child. All our plans revolve around puppy.

This thread reminds me of all those “should I have a child?” threads. The same arguments apply really, everything that’s been said here is correct, it’s hard work. But if you yearn for a dog then go into it with your eyes open and enjoy it. 🐶

I got a dog and regret it all the time. I will never have another one. Much as I and the DC love him, he is a tie and a huge commitment. The cost of having him looked after when we are on holiday is huge.

Can you volunteer to do dog walking for a charity instead?

Get one: the biggest mistake you’ll never regret.

This. With bells on.

For me my dogs are worth all the negatives, a hundred times over. My house will always have a dog in it, for me they really make a family home feel like, well, home.

But yes they do smell occasionally and the cost of vet care, feeding, walking etc. adds up very quickly. And they do take up a lot of time (and space, mainly on the sofa). But I just love them!

I think Caledonian is right. You have to yearn for one.
I waited until I wasn’t working and the kids were older. Tried to talk myself out of it and did volunteer dog walking. Didn’t work. Despite the wind and rain and poo picking and cold and MUD!!!

the biggest mistake you’ll never regret.

Nope. I regret it lots.

Don't do it!!!! In the middle of puppy hell with a 1 year old and a six year old. Picking up poo and mopping up pee every 10 mins, walking in the gale force winds and rain. I was talked into it and regret it big time, I know once he's trained it will be less work but right now I would turn back time in a shot!

@Wolfiefan I've tried so hard with her. I let her out all the time, she'll come back in and piss on anything ( she pissed on dd blanket today)

I know she's clever because she's learnt tricks within minutes she just will not let me know when she wants to go out and it's driving me up the wall 😡

@flowersaremyfave
Are you on FB? There’s a great group called dog training advice and support. They have a brilliant file on toilet training.
Basically by letting her out and not taking her out on a lead she hasn’t learnt that toilet should happen outside. You need to watch her for signs she needs to go out. And take her out like I said above. The only way she will learn to go outside is if you make sure she’s outside every time she needs to go.
Good luck.

@flowersaremyfave what have you done to actually toilet train her? You need to take her out every twenty minutes and actually go out with her, wait until she goes and praise/treat. There's no point just sending them out to toilet because they won't learn anything. Just that sometimes they get sent out to toilet and sometimes they can do it inside.

If she's chewing things then you need to stop leaving things within her reach - it's what we were told at puppy class. If your dog eats your glasses/charger/remote it's your fault for not controlling the dogs environment. They have no concept of right or wrong - you need to teach them.

I hope it gets easier

They're a huge responsibility and they are spendy and they are a tie but OH MY GOD they look at you like this and you want to get another 3 or 4 Rescue dogs ftw too, it's a marvellous feeling to rehome a dog. Go for it!

Dog is currently keeping my feet warm. I posted on here before we got him because I was interested to see if people thought it improved or made worse their mental health. Opinions were mixed.

Anyway I’m here to tell you he is GREAT. DCs don’t walk him but are cajoled into feeding him. They love him dearly and can’t go out or to bed without cuddling him.

I think we were lucky with him as a puppy - I have friends who found that but traumatic, but for me it was a cynch compared to having a child with ADHD and then twins. that’s hard work.

For me he is my ally I’m the house. He is sensitive to mood and gives affection unconditionally. He is so happy when he’s running or when he gets a treat - no recriminations or talkbacks or tantrums like the kids .

I think we’re very lucky with him though.

Last year we went on holiday to quite a ‘doggy’ town and spent the whole time missing him, so this year we’ve booked an apartment that allows dogs. He is going to absolutely love the 2 mile beach.

He steals food and can never be left alone with food though. He would sleep under the covers in the bed if allowed (he stays downstairs). He doesn’t smell or moult (whippet)

As someone said - it’s that same question as ‘should I have kids’ - the only answer is ‘only with your eyes open’.

I think it’s what a lot of my generation is doing now our kids are 8+ and we’re feelogn broody but don’t want any more kids.

Love my dog and wouldn't want to be without her. She's loving, funny, clean in the house (unless the weather's bad),just another member of the family. She hides when I get the collar and lead out. She's barky though, and we think she's quite eccentric.