To think some people are just unlucky?

[Iseverynametaken]

Starting to feel like I might be unlucky. Seems like things always just, not only go wrong, but seemingly all at once. I try very hard to be positive and am a very caring and giving person so at times selfishly think why me? I feel like I notice some people manage to just coast through life and things seem to always go their way, while others, try as they might, seem to just always have a hard time. I do have anxiety and perhaps look at other peoples lives through rose tinted glasses, but even my husband agrees we do seem to cop the short end of the stick alot.

Not wanting to have a pity party over here, but just having a hard time staying upbeat at the moment! (Hoping that things surely turn around soon)

Whether you consider yourself lucky or not is all about attitude and having the ability to look at the positives. My daughter was born with a serious heart defect, has had life threatening surgery once and likely will again. My mum died last year, it was very sudden, she was a healthy 67 year old. I could list lots of unlucky things that have happened but I feel that I am a lucky person because there are lots of positive things about my life too and it could be a lot worse.

And in turn, their lives are more positive, so you don't really disagree, you're just looking at it differently.

Not quite. The lives are pretty much the same, it's only how we consider them.

I honestly think some of you have not a clue how many bad things can happen to someone that is not their fault.

I feel you! Logically, I of course know that luck is not a thing.

However on an emotional sense I completely feel that myself and my close family experience bad luck more than others, particularly my mum and I. I have felt this way my entire life - not just after a few bad years.

I think we all know luck is not real but when you have a lot of shit luck, it's hard sometimes to see the reality.

But... grandmothers are quite likely to die. And a free-roaming cat is unfortunately quite likely to be knocked down. And one's fertility isn't always great at 39 and she did have a debilitating condition.

The health and the dh's early death - that is bad luck. But the other things are what happens to many others. Unless they die at an early age, losing your parents/grandparents is not bad luck.

After 17 pregnancies. 16 Mc and one stillbirth my consultant diagnosed me as unlucky.
I then had DS I’m so lucky.

Some people have a harder time than others, for sure. I'm fortunate (privileged/lucky/made good choices) in most aspects of my life, though I've had some hard times. I'm not going to complain I've led an unlucky life.

However, I'm stupidly unlucky when it comes to my health. Not that my issues are the worst things that could happen to someone, but I've had a few things so phenomenally unlikely to have happened and so unpredictable (and completely unrelated) that a surgeon wanted to write a case study about me last year. Agree that the way you deal with things makes a difference to your outlook and whether you feel like you have "bad luck", but there are some things which are, scientifically, just really bad luck. And I've had several of them and my husband on the other hand is never sick - smug git.

DustyMaiden - I know how you feel.

You have no choice about the family you are born into. That is luck, and it affects us all our life.
You think the baby Shamim Begum had was not unlucky?

I know a lot of people think of me as "lucky" and I also consider myself very fortunate. BUT some people would look at me and my life and feel pity I guess.

Why am I lucky?

I have 4 amazing healthy children that bring me joy every single day.
I am loved by my family and friends.
I have had access to education and taken full advantage of it.
I have a lovely 5 bedroom home and can pay my bills and go on the occasional holiday or day trip.
I have access to a wonderful system of healthcare.
I am resilient and I bounce back from every blip in my life.

Why could I feel I am unlucky?

I am a survivor of childhood abuse, my parents knew and did nothing.
I am in a wheelchair due to a degenerative bone disease .
I need several surgerys a year to keep me going.
I live in a council house.
I can't find anybody to hire me in secure employment.
One child has ASD and the other serious mental health issues.

What matters is that I focus on the first set of facts and not the second. That is what makes me lucky as opposed to unlucky.

I agree now my phone is also fucking up

Totally agree I've had a horrendous 12 months and just when I think it can't get any worse it does , it's just one thing after another. It also reminds me how incredibly lucky I was for years before all this started, I always say if you have your health you have everything. I now know this more than ever

But... grandmothers are quite likely to die. And a free-roaming cat is unfortunately quite likely to be knocked down. And one's fertility isn't always great at 39 and she did have a debilitating condition.*

The health and the dh's early death - that is bad luck. But the other things are what happens to many others. Unless they die at an early age, losing your parents/grandparents is not bad luck.

Yes grandparents die. But to die at a not-ancient age right at the time you are having a last trip with your dying husband is another blow that would leave a lot of people bitter.

She wasn’t 39 when she miscarried. She was young. She’s now widowed at an age that’s very young to be widowed, but too old (in her shoes) to start again and have a family because of the damage done by the miscarriage. And hercondition had nothing to do with the miscarriage, it was diagnosed after.

Anyway, I’m still in awe of her. If I’d had her last 8/9 years I’d be as bitter as sin at the world.

I am a great believer in astrology and Astrocartography.

Not the if you are Gemini you are going to meet a dark haired stranger or if you are Aries you are going to feel angry today, but the one that takes your date, time and place of birth.

If this is a blip of a few years you could just be on a difficult transit and it will pass but
if nothing ever goes right for you and you feel unlucky and can’t remember a time when things have just been easy then can I recommend Astrocartography.

It is where your birth chart is placed on the world (Astro.com do a free chart under their travel horoscope) and you can click anywhere in the world and it will tell you what that place could be like.

I was doing a chart for my friend and she was amazed about what I was saying because it really resonated with what had happened to her in different places.

My chart said if I live anywhere in the UK north of Leeds everything I do will end in disappointment (which it did when I lived there) and everything south says I will get knifed in the back literally or figuratively. (Definitely figuratively)
Years ago I was driving around the US.
Ended up in this town which at the time it had a terrible reputation for guns and crime.
Dp was terrified of being shot but I felt calm like I had come home. I just felt this was where I should be.
Turns out when I clicked on this place that is where I should be.

Just need to convince Trump that I am meant to be in the US. My Astrocartography says so😆

I would give it a go and see what it says. It doesn’t cost anything to look.

Just some of my experiences:

I also think there is a great deal of ´luck´ or alternatively ´misfortune´ involved. Having miscarriages, getting ill, all out of your reach.

However, for a further great part of life, I think you have to make an effort to create luck. i recently helped out two people who were struggling. I made sure they had a job, gave them advice whenever they asked (and whenever they didn´t ) and generally helped them with small steps in life. I´m sorry to say that - +/- 5 years later - they are still struggling. I think they are responsible for a lot of that. Friend 1 gave up her job voluntarily as she felt it took too much time away from her child (then 8), even though I also worked full time with 3 kids. She knew she wouldn´t get benefits and also knew that it would not look impressive on her CV. With help she then got the chance to buy a little house. Instead of buying an apartment/terraced house which would have benefited from better insulation etc. she opted for a detached place. And indeed, the next winter she was cold and paid a lot for extra heating. Her son did not well in school and instead of giving him all the support necessary, she changed schools several time.

Another friend from my husbands home country came and staid with us several years as a nanny. We registered her for all sorts of language courses and I suggested evening courses into sought-after subjects (nursing, education). However, as she felt she was ´an artist´, she instead opted for further artistic training. She left us announcing that she was going to find other employment and the last I heard is that she is now cleaning (not that there is anything wrong with that, but it is obviously far away from her artistic dreams).

They both often said that I was so lucky with my good job and house etc. However, they did not realise that I had been working since I was 16; working my way through college, (over)working my way as a trainee lawyer, never taking holidays, often studying at night. Yes, from the outside it looks like we are lucky, but I know that I worked bloody hard for it.

I absolutely believe in luck. I always think I’m lucky to have been born when I was where I was to a loving reasonably ‘normal’ and ordinary family. Could be so much worse. Yes of course shit happens but that’s life no cure for life just have to keep buggering on. Recently divorced made redundant health not as good as it used to be but still have to just keep going.

I honestly think some of you have not a clue how many bad things can happen to someone that is not their fault.

That may be true. But I also think it's true that some of you have not got a clue how many good things can happen to someone that's entirely a reward for their own efforts and nothing to do with luck.

I am a great believer in astrology and Astrocartography.

Now that's unlucky, being so gullible.

You have no choice about the family you are born into. That is luck, and it affects us all our life. You think the baby Shamim Begum had was not unlucky?

Hmmm, this raises interesting questions. Did that baby have bad luck, as such, or was it the "fault" of her mother? Similarly, if a known carrier - I repeat known carrier - of a genetic disease has a child, and that child is a sufferer, is it bad luck that they have a disability, or is it more that it is their parent's fault?

I am just musing that a lot of bad luck has a cause and is not totally random.

Agree that some people are a lot more resilient about what life throws at them. I don't think actually I'm great, as I do dwell on past injustices/mistakes/events. Some people, however, definitely are able to see things in a more positive light whereas others are glass completely empty.

I used to wonder whether I was unlucky, and had a few 'why me?' moments, until I reframed the question; 'why not me?' There are no sensible answers to that.

Yes I’m very unlucky
Sadly I have had to learn to live with it
I still wake up every morning with a positive attitude sometimes it only lasts seconds when I remember something negative
Other days it lasts longer
I’ve had lots of health issues including mental health, was sexually abused as a child, emotionally abused as an adult
Struggled financially due to being a single parent with no family support
Now I work full time and then some plus look after elderly parents
I do wonder when my time will come - I’m never going to be able to retire as have no pension to speak of
I have been very lucky to have wonderful DC though and a handful of true friends

I also ask why not me when I think why me again
It helps a lot!

Why do gullible when time and time again it has proved correct.

I forecast the date my friends marriage broke up and despite the fact that her solicitor and barrister thought I was a nutter stating the date more than 3 years later that the divorce would be concluded.

We are coming up to that date and it looks like that is the date she will be getting her decree absolute.

That’s just one example.

If David Cameron had consulted his charts he would have seen that holding a referendum on 23rd June 2016 was not going to get his desired result.

and President Kennedy wouldn’t have gone to Dallas.

I believe that the energy we feel, we subconsciously send out. So if we 're feeling negative, we send out negative vibes and attract negative energy.

I believe that the energy we feel, we subconsciously send out. So if we 're feeling negative, we send out negative vibes and attract negative energy

I am really positive. I can find the silver lining in a pile of manure. I help people if I see someone struggling from opening a car car door if someone is loaded with shopping to spending weeks writing letters and helping with friends divorce but for that I have a Dp who gets diagnosed with a terminal illness (and yes it was in his charts. Just took the doctors so long to diagnose him when his symptoms started to be a present that by the time he was diagnosed the cancer had spread)

My friend used to think if you are happy and think positive nice things will happen.
Then she met me and realised it wasn’t that simple.