To feel I can’t post here anymore without changing my user name every time I post.

[ThePlaceToVent]

I don’t know if anyone else feels like this.

I have been posting here for a good 10 years (think I deregistered once or twice).

It has always been a good place for me to have a rant.

I have accepted you will get flamed a bit and get unnecessarily attacked.

But recently there seems to be a hobby of trawling through posters posts to “out” them, prove them wrong, attack them or, for me, which happened recently to put them in RL and humiliate them, which leads to posters constantly name changing and for me has lead to shit in RL because someone chose to out me in my RL.

Surely we are all posting here to vent in an annoymous space - so why are doing this to each other?

Surely the talk guidelines and the forum etiquette are that you leave someone be to have a vent or you let them know privately you know who they are so you can deal with it with no harm done in RL?

The attacking is increasing the name changing which decreases the trust and the long term recognisable posters.

Best tip, change details in your posts.

If you have a son, have a daughter on here.
Have an issue with your sister? On here it's your brother.
Live in the southeast? On here you're Scottish. Etc.

Makes putting posts together tough as details keep changing.

For me it’s the trend of other media to publish our discussions that prompts regular name changes.

@DravenRainrix

Problem with that is the people who trawl back through your past posts for absolutely no fucking reason then pick you up on that, question you and derail the thread.

It depends though

There has been quite a lot of posters lately that post the same thing again and again. One of them was basically about how, the OP fancied a married man and despite him turning her down she was obsessed that he secretly wanted her. Its was quite disturbing. They dont want advice or support. They want people to tell them that what they are doing is ok and keep going until someone does.

And sometimes it is relevant and it's not advance searching, it's just remembering. Sometimes even with a name change you can spot the same poster and the situation.

Like a poster asking for advice on splitting with their dp, when the OP owns the house. I remembered that, that poster had posted asking for her advice about her husband, being married is very relevant if asking for practical advice on splitting. I wouldn't pick apart someone story for changing ages or sex of children. But sometimes it is relevant.

It's not always a case of trawling through threads to be an arse. It's because you remember something relevant.

Alot of people also advance search because of the large amount of trolls. It would be useful if you could see when posters joined. Rather than just what they poster under the name change. Plenty of people who name change are assumed to be new and probably a troll.

If people are verbally attacking you, report it to MN. MN will take it up with them if they keep doing it.

DravenRainrix do you mean change the details and keep them that way or change each time?

Ive never changed

But then i dont give away personal info either

It has always been a good place for me to have a rant.
OP - you talk about ranting and venting. I can't say that I use MN for that. I find the experience of posters can be useful (medical/exercise/diet/style) and if I know something useful I add it to a thread. I've never name changed.
When I've seen people look back at an OP's post history it is usually to point out massive inconsistencies.
Perhaps take a lighter approach to MN?

I’ve also been spotted on here in real life. I was really surprised, as MN has so many users and I didn’t think I’d posted anything particularly identifying. It didn’t cause me any problems (my friend simply asked me “is your MN username xxx?”) but it did shake me up a bit so now I name change regularly.

I think it’s a good thing. You shouldn’t trust anyone on the internet anyway, so maybe it’s better if you don’t have the illusion that you can.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to re-consider what / how you post, OP.

The only time I do an AS is when whatever has been posted has caused me to raise an eyebrow.

If you are posting about the same scenario again and again and not taking advice then people will remember you and call you out on it.

This is why I name change regularly.

I rarely namechange and mostly one-offs. Only if it is extremely identifying because there is enough out there already, or concerns my school.

I haven't had anyone ever dig up an earlier post (unless on the same thread, of course). Now I think of it, it's not common on threads anyway, and where it has occurred, the thread is mentioned so anyone can check it out.

It's tricky, I get what you mean but then there are regular posters (even if they name change) who just appear to want to be told just to carry on as they are/seek validation and it's obvious who they are.

There was a thread yesterday about an OPs partners fairly serious drug habit. Lots of people recognised the OP and went back to old posts BUT that OP is in massive denial about the effects on her kids and has been told that, but just doesn't like the advice given. It did end up being a pile on but equally posters can see how wrong their whole family dynamic is. It's tragic really.

People who "trawl through" past posts and point out "discrepancies", in my opinion, are doing everyone else a favour.
Tends to shut the lying trolls who make up about 80% of the site these days down fairly quickly before they suck the naive and gullible into their web of creative writing bollocks.

If you feel the need to lie/change details about yourself to not be recognised, it's perhaps time to ask yourself if you're putting too much about yourself on the www.

Though anyone who thinks their story is that unique on a website with millions, could do with a ego deflate tbf.

And I've only ever seen 2 people "outed" on MN in the 15 years I've been here. One still posts under that name and I don't think was particularly bothered about the outing, (all publicity being good etc) and the other was mercilessly stalked across social media for years by a gang of playground bullies who are probably still doing it.

They’ve always fon

anyone who thinks their story is that unique on a website with millions, could do with an ego deflate that’s what I thought too, until I was recognised on here IRL!

Sorry, phone again.

They have always done this. I remember my early days here, being followed from thread to thread and bullied by some of the names at the time. Fortunately, i’d experienced Christian message boards, and was quite used to Internet nastiness.

@ThePlaceToVent similar thing happened to me the other day, I normally only post on none eventful threads nothing too serious etc and never had one of my own until I needed help and suggestions over a very serious matter only a few days ago.

I had this one poster trawling through my old posts and found one where I’d left a jokey message about what I used to do with my friends and she just wouldn’t accept that I wasn’t referring to the very same day when I posted that and insinuated I was lying etc it was something I really didn’t need when I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe or see properly. I had a message from the poster that defended me saying that she’d (or he even) had inboxed them a derogatory message about me which just made it worse.

I’m not bothering to even update the thread cause I can’t be bothered for the nonsense, I’ll stick to lurking and other threads.

People love to ridicule those concerned about outing. It takes less than you think.

I name change every month, have done for a while. I don't know why as I don't post anything controversial, it's just a habit now.

(((((Big Hugs)))) OP 🌼🌻🌼🐨

I've never changed my name. I don't think I've done anything in RL to be ashamed of. I am mostly open and transparent and I'd rather leave out details or simply not post anything personal that I'd not want anyone to know. I'd rather hide something by omission than lie.

I don't search out previous threads to try and trip people up, I'm too lazy to be bothered.

The only thing I've noticed recently is an increasing tendency towards "tough love" or "say it how it is" which is often cover for self-righteous bullying, snobbery, and I see other posters following on and yet others cheering this on. It's quite intimidating. And I say that as someone who likes to vigorously debate.

I think that is the way of social media these days (unfortunately). On Monday a friend of mine posted on our local FB page and I had a friendly dig at her which she understood (there being only two of us at the time) about not keeping up with the times. Another forumite comes along and goes hell-bent on being insulted about my post and tagging others into it and for fecks sake, it didn't stop. Carried on for 20 hours with this one and that all giving opinions. I deleted my post but the wannabes were still at it 11 hours later.

Talk about feeding trolls. I have just about given up on posting on social media and this forum is one of my last.