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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think oh just piss off...

216 replies

KatnissMellark · 12/03/2019 21:21

With your patronising reminders to get a fucking smear test, you self righteous bores.

I do by the way, because I have to have an in date one for other medical procedures to be carried out. But I have concerns regarding false positives and unnecessary stress and procedures. And I am so bored of so many people with what appears an absolute lack of critical thinking self righteously reminding others to go for them on social media. Are you the fucking smear police? Have you read the science or are you just on the bandwagon Hmm

On balance I'd probably still have one, even if I didnt HAVE to. But the lecturing just annoys me.

OP posts:
DontCallMeCharlotte · 13/03/2019 11:32

"the majority of them will have received unnecessary treatment"

Really?

(speaking of hyperbole)

youknowmedontyou · 13/03/2019 11:37

Most stage 1 cells would never have progressed to full blown cancer.

Could you point me towards the research and analysis on that please?

CardsforKittens · 13/03/2019 11:48

The research and analysis was linked (not by me) earlier in the thread. It’s worth reading.

Chimmychunga · 13/03/2019 11:58

I hate seeing reminders but only for selfish reasons. I have PTSD due to a horrendous ordeal and anything which suggests opening my legs to anyone i don't know/trust sets me off. It makes me feel quite physically sick.

Having said that, it's so so important to try and get every woman to see and if it saves lives, it's worth it. I can just scroll past and wait for the feelings to fade. Cancer doesn't go away on its own and quite rightly, trump's my uncomfortableness.

MeltedCheese82 · 13/03/2019 12:38

I finally went for my first one 2 years ago because of the posts on social media.

LetheBiscuit · 13/03/2019 13:01

Why would you be pissed about it if you're having them? YABU. People don't go because they are embarrassed/scared, hearing other people speak out and other friends/family discuss their experiences encourages them.

Bubba1234 · 13/03/2019 13:05

I agree
An awful eejit I went to school with pure attention seeker who thinks she’s a blogger/ fitness expert
Hey guys don’t forget to get your smear tests thank god I did they found cells bla bla.. fuck off!

EstrellaDamn · 13/03/2019 13:05

My CIN 1 took - I can't exactly remember - about 7 or 8 years to develop into CIN 3, at which point the cells were removed. I had smear after smear to keep an eye on it developing.

Oh, and maybe this is helpful PasstheDuchie I remember going for one, and the nurse saying I must have not long finished a period because there was still a little blood internally. She did the smear anyway, saying let's give it a shot, but it needed to be redone. Maybe it's just worth trying it? And if it needs done again, then it needs done again.

itbemay · 13/03/2019 13:13

my thinking is if that one person sees that 'Jane from the co-op has had hers done so I will too' then the message has worked.

CurbsideProphet · 13/03/2019 13:32

I was 6 months late with my smear, as the GP surgery cancelled so many times. Luckily my employer was ok with me repeatedly booking time off / cancelling the time off. In that time I saw loads of "smear for smear" posts on social media. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who has had the same problem in actually getting an appointment. I imagine some just give up. There are no sexual health clinics where I live, so it's the practice nurse or nothing.

MinnieMountain · 13/03/2019 13:49

Wow. I must have unknowingly annoyed lots of people by putting "check your breasts" on FB after I got diagnosed with breast cancer. Ah well [blows raspberry]

SandAndSea · 13/03/2019 13:50

I don't think you're BU. The NHS needs to look at why women aren't going and make changes within accordingly, not keep pressuring women all the time. And I agree, it's patronising. Sadly, it's become one of those issues which is difficult to discuss honestly (like the trans issue, Brexit and vaccinations) because so many people think it's appropriate to jump on you if you disagree with them.

Jengnr · 13/03/2019 14:05

I’ve seen two people share it. One man who lost his partner and son’s mother when she was 24 and the child was a baby.

And one woman who had part of her cervix removed at a very young age after a smear. She’s just had to have surgery on it at 21 weeks pregnant to keep the baby where it should be.

I’ll listen to them, ta.

clairemcnam · 13/03/2019 14:08

Minnie The official advice is not to check your breasts, but be breast aware.

EstrellaDamn · 13/03/2019 14:18

claire, did you honestly just tell someone with breast cancer that she's somehow doing it wrong??

Bufferingkisses · 13/03/2019 14:24

The thing is, the information you're giving is not accurate either is it? The stats are not that 9 of 10 patients who undergo treatment for cervical cancer don't have cervical cancer. The stats are that 9 of 10 patients who go forward for further testing as a result of a smear do not have cancer.

It's not that 9 out of 10 people are being dragged in for chemo, radiotherapy and everything else involved in cancer treatment when there is no cancer. Which makes what you are saying just as misleading and potentially harmful as well doesn't it?

Motoko · 13/03/2019 14:32

I'm slowly dying from cervical cancer, because I kept putting my smear test off. It was at stage 3B when it was discovered, after my kidneys failed, and they can't remove it.

The campaign is because uptake of smear tests has dropped. Jo's Trust, the cervical cancer charity, have been doing a lot of work, finding out why people don't go, and have information for people with special needs, survivors of sexual abuse, etc, to try to address this.

Everyone knows about breast cancer, and there are always awareness campaigns about that, yet I don't see people complaining about those campaigns with as much vehemence as you do when people complain about cervical cancer awareness campaigns. But without these campaigns, people will forget about it, and forget to go for their smear tests, and then more women will die, like me.

clairemcnam · 13/03/2019 14:34

Estrella I told someone with breast cancer that the health advice she is giving out is wrong.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 13/03/2019 14:43

If there was a screening programme available for the cancer which will kill me this year (at 35, there is screening for older people) I would be making people aware of it for sure. Irritating people isn’t my biggest concern honestly.

There definitely is a bigger issue with smear tests and people who are unable to participate due to previous trauma etc and that should be being addressed. It’s good to hear that some areas are.

Equally some people will read the research and opt out. Absolutely fine.

The campaigns are aimed at the too busy or not interested groups. If they can be persuaded to prioritise this then that must be a good thing.

EstrellaDamn · 13/03/2019 14:52

I'm really sorry @Motoko

origamiunicorn · 13/03/2019 15:50

My Mum was diagnosed with skin cancer but it wasn't a mole on her face or a freckle like in the campaign's, it was a shiny fleck of dry skin.

I put it on social media at the time as I thought it was important to flag up that it's not just irregular freckles/moles you should be looking at cos no one tells you this.

She's fine now thankfully but if anyone was bothered I couldn't care less flicks comedy Vs

C8H10N4O2 · 13/03/2019 16:07

Maybe the Government should look at the practical barriers, instead of just blaming women?

For a start services could stop assuming women are mostly home based and that their time is not important.

I was always told that smears had to be done between particular days of the cycle and I had an irregular cycle. Appts had to be made 2-3 months in advance. Turn up on the wrong days and you were sent home with a finger wagging. When trying to make appointments I was given grief in public by receptionists for not being able to stick to a date. GP appts were not given for smear tests, I was directed to make an appt with the smear clinic - catch 22.

The clinics were (and still are) during the day because most women in the target group were assumed available. Men's health clinics ran in the evening "because men work".
Its still the case that the latest smear appt available at several local GPs is 4.30pm whilst mens health clinics run in the evening.

I went over ten years between smear tests and only had one then because the opportunity arose in a private health assessment.

Similarly with breast screening - I received a midday appointment to attend a centre miles away with three days warning. I then had a "naughty step" note because I didn't attend, telling me how much money I had wasted. I pointed out that I was working overseas and hadn't even seen the notification ( I couldn't make that time of day anyway) and was treated like some kind of freak. Once again, women are assumed to have time on their hands, counterpart male clinics operate on the assumption of working people.

These tests are not pleasant, can be very painful and their usefulness varies hugely based on family history and other factors. If the NHS wants women to attend these sessions then make them more easily available rather than talking to us like children and restricting access.

Charities omitting the word "woman" from their advertising only add to the confusion.

10IAR · 13/03/2019 16:10

My mum died of cervical cancer, it was only caught because of the smear and that smear meant we had longer with her than she'd have had without it.

So aye, now and then I post reminders about smears. Because if just one person sees it and doesn't die the way Mum did, it's worth it.

Not lecturing, not haranguing, just genuinely trying to save a woman some heartache.

agentdaisy · 13/03/2019 16:33

I wish there had been so many people posting on Facebook and talking about smear tests and the early signs of cervical cancer ten years ago. If there had I might still have my mum. She had all the early symptoms but ignored them/was to embarrassed about seeing the doctor and avoided smear tests for years. By the time her symptoms were impossible to ignore any longer she had stage 4 metastatic cervical cancer. She died 18 months after diagnosis.

I can understand getting fed up of constantly hearing about how important it is to have regular smear tests, it drives me slightly mad at times too, but if it helps just one woman feel less embarrassed about going for a smear then it's worth it.

I've seen what cervical cancer does to a woman and it's horrific. Not just the chemo and radiotherapy but the symptoms of the cancer itself.

WeAreEternal · 13/03/2019 16:59

I 100% agree with you OP

I despise how the whole thing has turned into missinformation, scare mongering and a financially motivated drive for most GPs.

Instead of scary women into having an invasive medical procedures that will more than likely cause more harm than good people should be encouraged to look at their family history, risk factors and be made aware of the warning signs and early symptoms of the most common cancers.

Then if they think the test is needed only then should it be done.

I have never had a smear test, I will never have a smear test and no amount of scare mongering on social media will make me undergo an invasive potentially damaging medical procedure.