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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think oh just piss off...

216 replies

KatnissMellark · 12/03/2019 21:21

With your patronising reminders to get a fucking smear test, you self righteous bores.

I do by the way, because I have to have an in date one for other medical procedures to be carried out. But I have concerns regarding false positives and unnecessary stress and procedures. And I am so bored of so many people with what appears an absolute lack of critical thinking self righteously reminding others to go for them on social media. Are you the fucking smear police? Have you read the science or are you just on the bandwagon Hmm

On balance I'd probably still have one, even if I didnt HAVE to. But the lecturing just annoys me.

OP posts:
Pocahontasponytail · 12/03/2019 22:49

I absolutely agree that it's personal choice whether to attend for your smear or not - that isn't what this about though? Nobody will 'force' you too and if a reminder in the post makes you feel 'patronised' then frankly boo hoo - that reminder in the post, boring 'share' by a mate from the coop might mean that one woman bites the bullet and goes for a smear. Worth it's weight in gold.

Albeit working in the NHS I was a serial non-attender - too busy, too embarrassed etc - I had a friend aged 43 who was diagnosed with cervical cancer and pleaded with me to go - I did, I was found to have severe dyskariosis and had laser treatment. I'm fine now.

This is about an NHS campaign to get more women to go and have a test which can save their lives - how anyone can be annoyed at this is beyond me. We have advice from our managers that a campaign is going live and to expect extra referrals - how anyone could feel annoyed at this is beyond me Confused

LaBelleSauvage · 12/03/2019 23:06

I think people getting cancer is just a tad more inconvenient than you having to see upsetting Facebook posts.

Why don't you just unfollow them?

I think it's a good thing people are promoting screening, but then I'm a doctor and have seen people die from cervical cancer and it's not a nice way to go. But what do I know eh OP?

Get a grip. And maybe get off FB and read a nice book or something. Hmm

Meatbadger · 12/03/2019 23:09

Nice awareness raising Wink

Sickofthemoaning · 12/03/2019 23:10

Explain to my kids, who were 3&6, when their mum died why exactly smears are a conversation that should be avoided???

MaryBoBary · 12/03/2019 23:14

The more it is talked about, the less embarrassing women will fell about it and hopefully as a consequence the number of women being tested will rise.

If you are up to date with your tests then why are you so get up about it? You clearly understand how important it is. Some are not so educated and need someone to lecture them to get them to go. I can’t see any bad here, except for you sounding particularly grumpy.

Member869894 · 12/03/2019 23:22

I'm grateful we live in a country where not only do we have free smear tests we get reminded to go for them. YABU

WanderingDaffodil · 12/03/2019 23:24

My best friend died of cervical cancer.
Of course it fucking matters.
Get a grip.

Sparklesocks · 12/03/2019 23:27

If you are well informed and up to date with your smears then clearly the reminders aren’t for you. They’re for women who may have lost track of time and not had theirs, or for those to nervous/embarrassed to go. I think it can only be a good thing to get the message out there. I had my last smear in January and it came back ok, but I am not bothered by the adverts or chat about it because I know not all women are in my position.

puppy23 · 12/03/2019 23:28

the westie on the telly ad is bloody cute

mrsdavys · 12/03/2019 23:37

Best wishes to everyone who knows someone affected by abnormalities/cancer or anyone affected themselves Flowers

OP, I’d rather these things were discussed and promoted rather than people be left to forget about getting tested. Too many lives are lost that way. Think, if every ‘lecture’ just gets one person to book a test or one person to remind a loved one to get tested, how many lives will potentially be saved. Maybe yours, maybe the life of someone you love.
Don’t be so quick to bad-mouth something necessary and important just because you don’t like being told what to do

ViolaD77 · 12/03/2019 23:43

I never understand why women don't want a smear..... Yes it's not nice but you have much bigger things put up there so why not a thin tube that might help save your life!

snitzelvoncrumb · 13/03/2019 00:04

Not unreasonable at all! The world revolves around you, so the rest of us should only be posting things you approve of on Facebook!

Hotterthanahotthing · 13/03/2019 00:11

You don't want it,fine.
Leave others to make their own mind up about how they want to reduce their risk of a preventable disease.
No doubt you would ignore and be irritated by invites for any daughters you may have to be vaccinated .

PurpleDaisies · 13/03/2019 06:43

Yes it's not nice but you have much bigger things put up there so why not a thin tube that might help save your life!

This is really disingenuous and dismissive of all the women who say that smears are very painful. Have they stopped using speculums to see the cervix before putting the “thin tube up there”? Hmm

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 13/03/2019 06:53

I agree with you, op. I was sexually abused from the age of 12 and I find that smear tests feel exactly the same as that abuse. I think it is extremely common for women to have been sexually abused and the put up or shut up attitude around smear tests is appalling. No alternatives offered, no information on alternatives available.

For all the sanctimonious, 'someone I know died of cancer...' I would ask you to think about a case I heard about on Woman's Hour of a woman who had been routinely sexually abused as a child; she knew there was something seriously wrong with her, but her fear of smear tests was so great that she couldn't go through with it. No alternative investigations were offered to her until it was way too late and she only had weeks by that point.

PurpleDaisies · 13/03/2019 06:59

It also isn’t as simple as “I had abnormal cells treated so I would have died of cancer”. There’s good evidence that a lot of cell changes will spontaneously turn back to normal.

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 13/03/2019 07:22

The uncomfortable fact is, that for some women, being dead is less bad than living through having something forced into your vagina (again). Can we not make some provision for that?

Ski4130 · 13/03/2019 07:23

Scroll on past the posts if they annoy you, I do it with the younique/Body shop at home/juice plus ones that I have no time for, and don’t get worked about it, it’s pretty easy. Getting irate because someone thinks cervical smear tests are important enough to make posts about seems like wasted energy to me, go use your power for good op, use your ire on something worthwhile instead.

youknowmedontyou · 13/03/2019 07:25

FenellMaxwell I hope all goes well with your treatment. I know several people who have gone through it and had the all clear

Then you'll know the fucking importance then? Don't use FB if it causes you so much angst!

Ski4130 · 13/03/2019 07:26

Oh, and I don’t think sharing posts on FB saying women shouldn’t ignore their smear test reminders is is akin to marching someone who has real issues with the process into the doctor’s surgery and forcibly making them have one. Seriously, what a freaking ridiculous way to join those dots Hmm

Bufferingkisses · 13/03/2019 07:35

A campaign works like this. NHS (in this case) release a campaign. The more people who share it, retweet it or even just talk about it the more people it reaches. You may not need encouraging but someone else Jane from the co-op knows might - or they may know someone.

As for self righteous bore, I share the occasional post. My best friend is just recovering from her first lot of treatment. Most people on my friends list won't know that because it's her business to share not mine but that doesn't make it any less important to me. Don't assume you know other people's motives.

Daenerys77 · 13/03/2019 07:37

I think you are being a bit unreasonable, maybe you need to set aside some time to work out what you are really angry about?

downcasteyes · 13/03/2019 07:57

It's hands down one of the most successful screening programmes. YABU.

TeenTimesTwo · 13/03/2019 08:00

YABU. I think the SM posts are helpful.
People 'go with the herd'. If they think most people don't bother, then they won't either. If they realise that all their friends and acquaintances do bother, then it spurs them on to attend.

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 13/03/2019 08:07

The thing is for every woman who has treatment which prevents cancer, there will be ten or so that have it unneccessarily as their symptoms would never have developed into cancer. That's a huge amount of unnecessary worry, stress and side effects, not to mention potential complications in further pregnancies that aren't necessary. The unthinking virtue signalling annoys me. As does the jumping on anyone who disagrees and accusing them of 'wrongthink'. I think we are far too reliant on the NHS to tell us what to do in this country, and they're not always right...but again I'm sure I'll be jumped on for that.

Then you'll know the fucking importance then? Don't use FB if it causes you so much angst

Yes, but I do wonder how many of them were treated unnecessarily. And whether the longer term issues my best friend suffered were completely avoidable.

In my view it's not a black and white issue.

That's without going into the misinformation around how easy and painless they are, and the implication that anyone who doesn't have one is a selfish silly little girl Hmm

OP posts: