To think this is a cheeky way to invite someone to a wedding.

[ThereWillBeAdequateFood]

This is the second time someone’s done this recently.

Received a message from bride to be. “Just checking if you are free on XXXth August”

I replied “I think so, haven’t book a holiday yet.”

She replies “Great that’s our wedding day, so glad you will be able to make it.”

The invite arrives a few weeks later for an evening invite. So I feel committed to the bloomin thing - I’m now meant to sort out holidays and child care around an evening invite to her wedding.

Am I being a bit of a bitch, I feel really annoyed by this.

Turn it down if you don't want to go.
Having been to a horrendous 'evening invite' wedding a few years ago I would always decline evening invites now. It was torture!

So she’s ‘more of an acquaintance’ but you’re pissed off about an evening invite?
You sound miserable. If you can’t book your holiday around the wedding then don’t go, but no need to get pusssd off about it.

It ISNT rude to invite someone to a party. It isn’t rude to decline. No “reasons” are needed.

I really don’t see the big deal.

I’m planning on getting married in circa July this year and haven’t sent hold the date etc invites.

And as for she’s a cow blah blah blah for only inviting you to the event do. You should be pleased she’s inviting you.

I wouldn’t bother if I were you, you sound like it’s too much of an inconvenience.

OP please don’t mess around saying you’re going and then have your childcare ‘fall through’ nearer the date, just say you can’t make it - you’ve not committed to going just because of a text.

So many threads on here at the moment where people are tying themselves in knots coming up with fibs and fake excuses for not doing stuff or putting off cf friends

None of this sounds rude to me. I don''t know why you're in such a dither. I do think it's rude to tell her you'll come if you can get childcare and then cancel closer to the date. Just say no now and don't play games.

my DSD used to ask what we were doing at the weekend - naively we thought we were being invited over or wanted to go out with us - nope! she was seeing if we were free to babysit - we are wise to her now

If you genuinely don't care that it's evening only why are you so gleeful about pretending to turn it down for an all day invite?

She's done something not at all rude and your plan is to do something actually rude in response (fake a childcare issue) because you lack the grace to deal with perfectly normal social interactions.

And as for she’s a cow blah blah blah for only inviting you to the event do

Never said she’s a cow. I think she’s been cheeky. She asked if I was busy, I said I don’t think so, she replied great you can come to the wedding. She absolutely meant great ThereWill will be able to come, I’ll pencil her in on the guest list.

If she’d just mailed me an evening invite I wouldn’t be remotely annoyed. It’s the fact that she absolutely definitely thinks I’m coming to it as she’s sounded me out already (in what I think was a slightly sneaky and presumptuous way).

Give it a couple of days, then tell her you’ve received an all day invite to another wedding, from a close friend. 😉

Difficult because you're making a mountain out of a molehill. This doesn't sound like a real problem.

Oops. 😳

Give it a couple of days, then tell her you’ve received an all day invite to another wedding, from a close friend

I’ve already been told off by PColne for laughing at that joke once already.

I’d just reply and say that you’d assumed she was asking your availability during the daytime as you already have plans for the evening.

Cant believe she has an invite out already for August. What's the RSVP date? She's a bit full of herself assuming you'd want to go at all.

Difficult because you're making a mountain out of a molehill

So being annoyed because you think a friend is being cheeky = difficult

Why don't you want to go?

I wouldn't spend £50 on cabs for a B List invitation. Just decline. You don't need to explain why.

I really don't understand the problem. You say you wouldn't have minded if she'd just mailed it to you but her asking is a problem?

What did you think she was planning when she asked if you were free on that date? Had it been a cinema trip/girls night/other thing would you have gone?

Yes, no one else has done it so I can utter the immortal lines "it's an invitation not a summons". (Mini fist pump)

Seriously OP, turn her down. Something better came along-like playing with your children. :)

Am I being a bit of a bitch
Actually yes, and not just a bit of one. She asked if you were free, you are, then she is happy you can come to her wedding. What on earth is wrong with a friend being happy you can come to her wedding? All this gleefully coming up with mean excuses not to attend is just nasty, why?

Maybe she’s just pleased you can come to her wedding

Why the fuck wouldn't you go to a friends wedding if you were free, I don't get it

Just RSVP in the way requested on the invite saying you are not attending.

She may well have been a bit cheeky/presumptuous, but it would be rude if you to say you could go whilst planning to cancel last minute
You will have been counted if there is an evening buffet or whatever.

Don't say yes and then have childcare fall through, that's rude. Just say no!