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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask who is spending £13 on sanitary products per month?

451 replies

avocuddl · 12/03/2019 10:55

Just watching This Morning on period poverty. I appreciate this may be a real issue but I just can't work out the costs stated on the website under 'The Facts' www.freeperiods.org/mission
£18k over a lifetime which equals £13 per month.

The MP said she'd spent £25 on one period?

I buy the always £1 pack and they're fine! A pack of paracetamol is like 20p?

Sorry if this has been done before but aibu?

OP posts:
Skyejuly · 13/03/2019 20:56

The point is that we are all different. Why should a cap average figure be placed on the amount and anything above deemed 'too much'. Is it just me who thinks that's ridiculous ?

FrostedSnowdrops · 13/03/2019 21:02

I needed Feminax Ultra every month for a long time, that costs upwards of a fiver a box. I'd have spent about £4 tops on tampons I think.

Graphista · 13/03/2019 21:12

This has been done LOADS in relation to period poverty and women's health generally.

Very annoying that people like op still exist that don't even consider that not everyone has periods the same as they do!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3291537-To-say-a-period-does-not-cost-25

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3269641-Period-symptoms-no-one-talks-about

Some (a significant minority) of us have conditions like endometriosis which cause VERY heavy, long, painful periods. There's BOUND to be posters who will then come on and say:

"Well that's not normal you should go to dr and get it sorted"

WE DO. And then we get IGNORED. (And not just in relation to gynae issues)

"I hope to god your menstrual health stays hunky dory and you never have to go to the GP for it. They don't care. They misdiagnose you for years as having psychological pain or IBS. Then they start guessing at other things, which are wrong. Did you know the only way to actually diagnose endometriosis is via surgery? Not that easy to get!" Yep!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3402449-Aibu-to-ask-you-to-tell-me-your-experiences-of-being-dismissed-by-medics-as-a-sick-woman-I-promise-to-listen

It was 14 YEARS before I was DX and that happened basically "by accident" and no thanks to any of the many Gp's i'd reported TEXTBOOK symptoms to. (And that was the average time it took to get a DX then, it's currently around 7.5 YEARS)

I've said this before on the subject.

At my worst I was having periods that lasted up to 2 weeks, very heavy every day (by which I mean NEEDING to change max tampon AND Max pad hourly), cheaper pads and tampons were a false economy as they weren't absorbent enough or caused other issues.

Even AFTER several surgeries and medical treatments I was still needing a significant amount of sanitary products.

And it's not just sanitary products

"A pack of paracetamol is like 20p?"

Paracetamol is nowhere near enough for many of us. Instead or as well we need stronger up to and including specialist prescribed pain killers, which if you're in England/Wales and not eligible for free prescriptions can be a significant additional cost. At one point I was on prescribed medication to reduce bleeding + 2 painkillers + medication to treat other symptoms (eg I have endo on my bowel and spine so I had medication to deal with severe diarrhoea/bowel spasms caused by the endo and nerve pain exacerbated by the endo, migraine,

Mooncups AREN'T suitable or desirable for everyone before THOSE people start.

I posted this on the thread linked (and I can see now I even forgot some items) this was prices at the time of posting in my town - prices vary around the country too which many posters seem not to realise:

If I were experiencing what I did in the past I'd be getting through

3 packs of pads - £2.85 X 3 = £8.55

If I had to pay prescription costs -

£8.80 X 3 (pain + flow control + migraine) = £26.40

Stain remover - £4 would last 2 months so £2

Replacing underwear that can't be rescued - £3.50

Bedding needing replaced approx 6 monthly £20 a set = £3.33

TOTAL - £43.78 and that's NOT inc loss of earnings which was easily at least 2 days per month.

"but that’s the top end of spend totals, not the average." See above - it's REALLY not!!

"I have extremely heavy periods and I’ve never spent close to £18/£25." As was apparent on the period poverty thread I've linked, because we rarely discuss the details many are unaware that there are those who have heavier periods than them so in fact they're not having the heaviest periods. There's a huge variation.

"Periods aren’t a one size fits all thing." Precisely.

"I have very heavy periods. Go through pads every hour or two (been investigated nothing wrong)"

"And yes, I have been checked out by doctors, who say there is nothing wrong"

exactly what investigations/checks? Eg endo doesn't show on an ultrasound, there are "non gynae" conditions that can cause periods to be very heavy/painful that are woefully under investigated/DX/treated.

"I have menorrhagia. It is expensive. Doubling up and highest absorbency products (not available in ‘value’ ranges) changed at least twice as frequently than recommended. Not cheap." Menorrhagia is not a DX it's a description of symptoms only.

"But I appreciate I'm in the monitory."

"but surely my experience is closer to average?"

Its not a tiny minority though that have problem periods, just under 50% of women suffer with some kind of gynae condition, if you then add in "non gynae" conditions that ALSO mean worse periods and I strongly suspect not a minority at all!

"They are arguing for children missing school though, who'd get free prescriptions." Because Sanpro ISN'T free, many girls (too many) are very aware of their family being very tight for money and so don't tell that they need Sanpro, to try and save their family money and instead stay home. Sadly some girls families genuinely don't have the money as they barely have enough for food! The utter farce of UC, frozen benefits, sanctions etc is making things extremely difficult for many families. For rural families there's also the additional cost of either travel to the larger, cheaper shops OR paying a premium price and having less choice at small corner shops.

"If you need a prescription more than once a month, it's cheaper to get an annual subscription"

Not everyone has £104 easily to hand, many who aren't eligible for, or don't yet have the proof they're eligible for free prescriptions aren't necessarily able to lay their hands on this kind of money. It's expensive to be poor.

"The cost of sanitary products is the tip of the iceberg." Exactly! But also isn't as cheap as those claiming its "unnecessary" to spend more on these when THEY have NO experience of gynae/period issues.

The narrow mindedness that is so prevalent on these threads from women LUCKY enough NOT to have heavy, long, painful periods is shocking!

"Paracetamol is pointless for period pain btw OP... You need nsaids to stop the prostoglandins that are causing the pain and inflammation. Thats why feminax is Ibuprofen Lyseine." Lots of people inc myself are allergic to NSAIDs

"Clothes don’t need replacing because you’ve bled on them though - just soak in cold salt water for 24 hours. And buy black!" Wow! Lovely attitude! So people like me with medical conditions causing such problems should only ever wear black pants/tights/skirts/trousers/nightwear and only use black sheets and towels and have a black sofa? Don't be so ridiculous!! As for stain removal cold salt water doesn't always work, stain removers and the proteins in the blood itself eventually break fabrics down so the clothing wears through, bloody disintegrates in some cases! Way before they would for women who weren't leaking blood onto them.

"Reading this makes me sad to see how much some women suffer with periods

. A pack of pads lasts me a couple of months, I rarely have to take any pain relief and every month I get annoyed when my period starts because I hate having to wear pads for a few days. I will count myself lucky from now on." Genuinely lovely to read a thoughtful, empathetic post from someone who doesn't have problem periods, I wish the others who don't have difficult periods would at least try to get it.

"I offered to make some reusables for our local food bank and this offer was rejected. I offered to buy some and donate and this offer was also rejected. Pity, really" I'm surprised at you Bellini. Had you considered it may well be because foodbanks users have extremely limited access/money to launder them?

Whatnow40 that post is utterly heartbreaking!

"Does anyone else cringe at the posts saying they spend extra on chocolate?" Yep and wine - especially when you consider posts like the one I refer to in above para where young girls are being given socks to use! They're flippant, ignorant and dismissive imo. I agree such items shouldn't have been included in the survey either, there are other costs that could have been and even just not including them but accounting for those who have heavy and/or lengthy periods would have been more to the point.

"I didn’t realise taking painkillers was so commonplace, either :/ mine are uncomfortable but not what I’d call painkiller-level painful. Being female can be a bit shit sometimes" you're lucky, like some pps I've had pain so bad I've vomited, passed out! I didn't even realise I was in Labour with dd because the contractions simply didn't register anywhere close to as painful as my periods.

"Of course I know there are many reasons why people can't/won't take the pill, but surely some of you can to ease your terrible periods?? DD had very heavy, very painful periods, went on the pill, problem sorted." It is not a cure all. For some conditions/women it can make things WORSE. Wrt your daughter PLEASE don't leave it at that I was 14 when I was first put on the pill by a GP, it did improve things temporarily but what SHOULD have happened is the gp should have referred me to a gynae. Heavy, painful periods are NOT normal or healthy. If the pill helps in all likelihood all it's doing is masking/dampening symptoms. The cause may even be worsening even if symptoms seem improved.

I was your dd. The endo that was the cause wasn't discovered until the SECOND mc I had, I wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy and certainly I would hope you wouldn't wish it on your daughter. PLEASE advocate for her, push to get her properly DX and treated and hopefully avoid the pain and heartache of what can happen if she isn't - which can include infertility.

"Thank goodness there are posters available to tell us how we’re doing our periods wrong." Yep cos of course I CHOSE to have over 30 years of pain, excessive bleeding, migraine, lose 3 babies, suffer an ovarian torsion, a&e admittances and several surgeries - but yea I did all that for fun 🤔

"Surely this thread has brought out some extreme cases" not particularly.

"I’ve never understood this either. I bought a mooncup for £20 and replaced it after 10 years. So it’s possible to spend barely anything at all." If you are able to use a mooncup "A mooncup deals with very heavy periods" AND don't actually HAVE heavy periods land actually reduces them" bollocks!! Even the mooncup site itself doesn't claim this utter nonsense!

"Even taking the mini pill to reduce periods they are still heavy and last 8 days" MANY posters CLEARLY described heavier & longer periods than this. "Even using more traditional products I can’t imagine spending £25 a month. If your periods are that bad there are specialist products available through the hospital or GP which will be better than shop bought and not as expensive." Which specialist products are you specifically talking about? I've NEVER been offered Sanpro via GP or gynae services.

"Through personal experience, give a shit or not GPS do have catalogues of products they can provide and you phone up and order yourself, doesn’t cost them anything" what?! Do the manufacturers provide them for free? "so easier to get than a referral." Which is pretty shitty because a referral and CORRECT DX and treatment would prevent a HUGE amount of suffering. Not only monthly, but in terms of infertility, mc and worse.

@redsuitcase
"Getting hysterical over this seems to make people take women's issues even less seriously and the efforts should be, quite frankly, directed at bigger issues." It SHOULDN'T cease to amaze me how misogynistic some WOMEN can be but it still does completely shock me! Tell me PLEASE what bigger issues there are that are more important than girls and women being stuffed educationally and in their careers because they are not getting SERIOUS even LIFE THREATENING gynae issues DX and treated? And PLEASE don't use the word hysterical ESPECIALLY on a thread like this it's incredibly inappropriate and Fucking offensive!

"Percentage of women whose periods cost them in excess of £10 a month is tiny.
And then the percentage of women who then have that >£10 push them over the breadline is tinier still." PLEASE DO provide actual evidence of this!

SoleBizzz · 13/03/2019 21:13

Wtf has it to do with you? Are you the period Police?

RedSuitcase · 13/03/2019 21:25

@Graphista do you realise your post has taken up almost an entire page on this thread? Not for the first time either, I've seen you do this on other threads. What's going on?

thedisorganisedmum · 13/03/2019 21:28

RedSuitcase

maybe Graphista is my area, the trains are completely fucked again today, so we are all delayed and stuck killing time until we can finally arrive home Grin

LuaDipa · 13/03/2019 21:31

I think including chocolate/magazines and dvds really trivialises the issue

I can almost, almost see your point, although only to men as surely most women can relate to these ‘trivial’ costs. However that isn’t the question you asked when starting the thread. Why change the goalposts now? Too many women agreeing that they easily spend £13 per month on san pro?

RedSuitcase · 13/03/2019 21:32

Also, how is it misogynistic to believe that there are larger issues facing women than period poverty?
I don't think you quite know what that word means.
If I were to say that the issue regarding women was less important than a similar one regarding men, that would be misogynistic.
But the reality is that women are paid 8% less than men on average (though I've not checked my statistics), men are claiming to BE women causing the erosion of female spaces, women are tortured and executed across the world for being less than men etc etc. It is not misogynistic to suggest there are bigger problems.

RedSuitcase · 13/03/2019 21:34

@thedisorganisedmum sounds grim. Hope it goes quickly for you.
I generally kill the time on public transport by imaging a scenario where the apocalypse has killed everyone except those I'm on the carriage with and who would end up being the leader, who would turn out to be great at campfires etc.

tor8181 · 13/03/2019 21:35

in 38 years of my life i have spent 0 on products as i dont/never have had a period due to severe PCOS

the only thing i ever bought was maternity pads,and that was only twice

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 13/03/2019 21:47

I generally spend over £20 per month on sanitary products alone. I have heavy periods with flooding. I need pants rather than pads as flooding causes leakage and the pads leak at the side. I also wear waterproof granny pants on top. I daren't leave the house without them now.

I have quite a few friends that are going through the same stuff but have one friend who manages most of her periods using just panty liners! She has no idea what a normal period is but then again I had no idea mine were costing me so much more than other women.

I assumed men must have designed pads that leak everywhere and aren't absorbent enough. I wondered why if so many women are doubling up on pads and using tampons too - why aren't pads designed for women with heavy and fast flow?

manicmij · 13/03/2019 21:54

Not advocating for all however the recent disclosure that females do not and never have had to have a 'break' when taking the pill. For some that would eliminate the cost associated with menstruation.

SausageAndEgg · 13/03/2019 22:01

Before I went to the diva cup and reusable pads, I spent a small fortune in pads and tampons. Only a few brands could keep up because a lot of the time it’s very heavy. So on average I was spending about £20 I suppose

Graphista · 13/03/2019 22:01

@redsuitcase how long my posts are is up to me.

The quote I called misogynistic (and yes I DO know what the word means) was

"Getting hysterical over this seems to make people take women's issues even less seriously and the efforts should be, quite frankly, directed at bigger issues."

The way you worded it implies the "bigger issues" you are referring to are NOT in fact women's issues.

Plus period poverty is a MASSIVE women's issue in this country right now. It's stopping women and girls from fully accessing education and career opportunities. That has HUGE implications for women and girls economically. I dread to think what you would consider a bigger issue!

"But the reality is that women are paid 8% less than men on average (though I've not checked my statistics)" and you don't think this may be contributing to that problem? That women going undx for DECADES and needing to take loads of time off work isn't a factor?

Disagree if you like but don't presume I don't understand the issues facing women.

And frankly given your subsequent posts and efforts to appear pro women makes your use of the word "hysterical" even more inexcusable.

Greyponcho · 13/03/2019 22:02

Hmm, my periods cost me £20,000 per year, i.e. my career. My current job doesn’t pay as much, so I still have to have sick days, 3 prescriptions per month for attempts of pain management, tens machine pads, heat pads etc. on this lower wage.
But the whole “chocolate, magazines etc” does trivialise the issue and prompts threads like these, but I hope that some of the experiences shared help posters to realise that not everyone has the same experience as them

OhTheRoses · 13/03/2019 22:07

I have no idea. Never even had a period pain.

But dd did, and heavy periods. Cpl of gynae consultations, now 18+ sonpay for prescriptions. Has tried the pill and now had the implant (really working for her).

To be honest I'd have bought her sanitary towels tampons made of unicorn silk if they'd have made it a better experience.

Not withstanding little treats like diffusers, ambient lighting, wonderful cupcakes, replacing underwear.

Yes I get it; fortunately nof in poverty which would make it mega shit rather than a bit pooey wooey.

Lemoncakestrudel · 13/03/2019 22:26

Don’t know. Do you want me to include everything that I spend on personal products that mean that I can leave the house? Could well be £25.

You can criticise people all you want, but until you’ve lived it, do you really think you have a right to?

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 13/03/2019 22:41

I spend £5 on mine as they are usually on offer (always pads) and they last me 2 periods, somet8mes just under. I have it for 5 days also. And maybe £3 on nurofen express which I rarely take so last me about a year. I don’t understand how it costs £25 🤔unless your leaking all the time.

LewesHamilton · 13/03/2019 22:54

@graphista yes to period pain being worse than childbirth. I was dilated to something like 7 when I finally went to hospital as NHS Direct, or whatever it was called back then, thought I wasn't in labour due to me saying it was like mild period twinges!

CheshireChat · 14/03/2019 00:42

I think the extra costs do mount up- not magazines, but for everything else mentioned previously.

Also, I have light periods and the pain is usually manageable with ibuprofen lysine so I spend probably around £2/ month (though I only use bodyform night as everything is the wrong shape for some reason).

But I was so poorly one month DP had to take an unpaid day off to watch DS as I simply couldn't.

I've had periods trigger migraines a couple of times, I could hardly walk and I seriously considered just abandoning the bags of shopping I was carrying as I could barely walk. Spent most of the day under a duvet whilst watching a 4 yo.

I'm surprised no one else has mentioned heating- I get really cold! Yesterday I was wrapped up with a jumper under 3 throws and DP and DS were topless and in shorts.

thedisorganisedmum liquid talc! It's great and cheap as well.

Also, for the PP who struggled cleaning the mattress etc- could you put some puppy training pads/ baby mats under throws on the couch or under your bedding? We had some when DS had terrible reflux and you couldn't really tell they were there and it would save hassle as you'd just have to wash what's on top.

INeedToGetHealthy · 14/03/2019 00:50

Just like @EntirelyAnonymised I have menorrhagia and one of my last periods lasted 72 days of full on flooding. This is even with tranexamic acid and iron tablets. I have to buy incontinence pants as they are the only thing that will control the flow and the (tmi) massive blood clots that I lose. These are changed multiple times daily. I dread to think how much I have spent over the 30 years that I have been plagued with periods.
I have bought numerous brands of menstrual cups too but they are too uncomfortable to use and they don't last long before I need to empty them.

Graphista · 14/03/2019 01:14

LewesHamilton (witty) yes I was in hospital with dd anyway as I had pre-eclampsia and other complications, they were trying to induce me for several days, eventually it worked, I was used to them monitoring us and so didn't think much of being strapped up etc yet again, bit of a shock when I was told "you're in established labour have been for a few hours by the look of things, 2cm dilated" I've had farts more painful!

I asked if maybe the contractions weren't very strong and told "no those are good strong regular contractions you're having"

It ended up being an emcs as dd got distressed and my heart played silly buggers among other things. I was up and about less than 24 hours later, visiting dd in scbu and various other c section mum's and nurses asking me "aren't you sore?" Er not especially no.

It's a comparative thing isn't it? If we're used to much worse pain a lesser pain doesn't seem so bad.

I was dreading labour because I felt sure it would be even worse than the endo, as it turned out the main thing I struggled with was after a 28 hour labour I was fucking knackered!!

Graphista · 14/03/2019 01:18

"I'm surprised no one else has mentioned heating- I get really cold! Yesterday I was wrapped up with a jumper under 3 throws and DP and DS were topless and in shorts." That's a new one even for me. Shakes yes but not actually colder, if anything I'm hotter! And not an age thing always been the case, red faced, sweaty, gasping for drinks!

And now the age thing is also kicking in I get through ridiculous amounts of ice poles usually at sodding 3am!

sashh · 14/03/2019 01:51

So I paid out an initial cost of £40-£50, and that’s it. Apart from washing them, I don’t have anything else to do

I looked into those on the last thread like this, I would need to buy at least 3 of the 'packs' when I was younger.

I used to be taken home from school from vomiting so it cost more than money.

Thank fuck for the menopause.

Truffle25 · 14/03/2019 02:14

I can normally find an offer for two packs of always pads for £5 or so somewhere as they are the only pads that work for me and I need to wear two at a time (although the pack sizes seem to reduce every year or so). I used to need 4 packs a month but now my period is a one day nightmare followed by a pathetic attempt at lasting a second day.

I can and have, however ramped up the monthly cost for other related items; paracetamol, prescriptions for codiene, oromorph, the pill, strong anti inflammatories, parking for hospital appointments and taxis to A&E, money wasted on things I’d paid to do or places to go but couldn’t because it was the wrong time of the month. The list goes on and on...

I’m lucky, I may have been dealt a rough hand when it comes to my reproductive organs but I can afford all of the above and I also get paid when I can’t go to work as a result. Others are, through no fault of their own, not as fortunate and it saddens me that such a basic need as a pack of pads or tampons is still seen by some as a luxury women treat themselves to for fun!

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