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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DM, next door neighbour and the bins....... AIBU

70 replies

Whatdoesitmatteranyway · 12/03/2019 09:55

Hi

Some of you will recognise me from previous posts about my DM.

BAsically I stay with her monday-thursday and will be until later this year. This arrangement works for me for work and her because she's disabled and had two major surgeries and is about to have another one. She's becoming less disabled with each surgery.

Her lovely neighbour bring her bin up to the road from the side of her house every Tuesday. he has done this for years. I get back later than him but if I get back before him, I bring his to the road. This doesnt happen often.

The problem is EVERY time he does it, he puts the bin right in my parking space. (diagram is attached).

I can't drive onto it from either side. I normally park blocking mum in but thats where he puts the bin. I don't want to block him in obviously.

So this means I have to pull up in the car, get out, move the bin, then park , move the bin next to his bin (which is where he puts it if there is a car aleady where I park), get back in the car and park up.

Its a minor irritant but its still annoying.,

I've asked DM to maybe have a quiet word and ask him nicely if he could not block my space. But she point blank refuses as she doesnt want to annoy him or seem ungrateful.

But I don't think it would be ungrateful would it?

DM, next door neighbour and the bins....... AIBU
OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 12/03/2019 09:58

Why don't you have a word with him? It's you he's inconveniencing. Speak to him yourself op

Original poster
Whatdoesitmatteranyway · 12/03/2019 09:58

Because if I do, DM will just moan at me for it.

OP posts:
onanothertrain · 12/03/2019 10:00

Your mum's house, her neighbour. If she doesn't want to mention it to him then that's fine. If it annoys you do much why don't you mention it to the neighbour and put the bin out yourself, although what happens when you're no longer there? It's what, once a week maximum?

TheSerenDipitY · 12/03/2019 10:01

well its kind of a minor thing, he is being kind and getting out of the car to move it isnt that annoying is it? he could instead leave it out and just take his and it is likely to be taken ( judging from all the bin CF threads i have read)

kenandbarbie · 12/03/2019 10:01

Why don't you speak to him but not tell dm you did. You don't tell her every little conversation you have do you?

Shoxfordian · 12/03/2019 10:02

And if she moans about it then it doesn't really matter as long as it means you can park without moving the bin every time.

HungryForSnacks · 12/03/2019 10:07

It's only once a week though isn't it? I probably wouldn't say anything seeing as he's doing your mum a favour

MoistMolly · 12/03/2019 10:31

If somebody had a word with me about this, I would just stop helping out altogether.

Treaclesweet · 12/03/2019 10:33

YABU. He's helping your mum out. It's not really that much of an inconvenience. You're being petty. Get a hobby.

oh4forkssake · 12/03/2019 10:33

Honestly, I would leave it. It's irritating but it's so small in the great scheme of things, and even if your Mum is getting better, how nice is it that she has good neighbours.

This is something that I'd let go and I don't let much go.

ourkidmolly · 12/03/2019 10:34

It's a really minor detail. You're just being very lazy. Don't mention it.

WeeDangerousSpike · 12/03/2019 10:39

If he didn't put it there, wouldn't you be more likely to find someone else parked there? So he's effectively reserving you a parking space by doing it?

I think yabu, I get that it's irritating, but I think the help outweighs the inconvenience.

dustarr73 · 12/03/2019 10:43

Hes doing a nice thing.If you have a word,he might stop doing it.

TeachesOfPeaches · 12/03/2019 10:44

Do you mean operations?

Barrenfieldoffucks · 12/03/2019 10:45

I really wouldn't mention this.

"Next time you're doing my mother a favour, would you mind not inconveniencing me"?

Barrenfieldoffucks · 12/03/2019 10:47

Besides, surely you drive up, hop out leaving engine running, move bin then park? Must take all of 15 seconds?

CarrieBlu · 12/03/2019 10:47

YABU. Appreciate that your mum has a helpful neighbour and stop being lazy - it’s only nudging a bin along once a week! If I did this for someone and their DC ‘had a word’ with me about it, I’d stop doing it.

Nanny0gg · 12/03/2019 10:48

Say nothing. He may be invaluable when you're not staying any more

Justmuddlingalong · 12/03/2019 10:52

I remember your previous posts. You seem determined to find maximum stress in normal everyday situations.

LikeARedBalloon · 12/03/2019 10:55

Gosh, yabu. Accept his favour and get out your car once a week to move the bin if it's in your way. You may need his help one day if you're not able to stay with your mum for any reason and helpful neighbours are hard to find. Don't be petty and rock the boat.

Piffle11 · 12/03/2019 10:58

For once a week, I wouldn't say anything. It's just a bit of a hassle, isn't it? Not actually a major issue. We don't know what this neighbour is like: if you said something, he may react ok, 'oh, no problem!' etc, or he may get embarrassed that he's being doing the 'wrong' thing for so long, or be offended. So why take the risk? My DM's neighbours: to the right you could say your piece and although they may be embarrassed they wouldn't say anything, and would continue to help out. To the right: she would take massive offence at you 'throwing her help back in her face' and would never speak to you again! Your DM must know him more than you and if she doesn't want to say anything, then don't bother.

happysaturday · 12/03/2019 11:01

Let it go. It's a minor inconvenience, he's being kind.

GruciusMalfoy · 12/03/2019 11:01

Good neighbours are more important than a minor irritation. I wouldn't risk my mother losing a friendly neighbour for the sake of the smallest inconvenience to me.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 12/03/2019 11:03

Is this in an estate or on a main road OP? If it's the latter, are you likely to be holding up traffic while you move the bin?

Fontella · 12/03/2019 11:03

Bloody hell!

Lovely neighbour who helps out your disabled mum with the bins, leaves it in a place inconvenient to you, so you have to a minute out of your day to move the bin before you can park?

You're right it is a 'minor irritant'. Very minor indeed.

Her neighbour could be a complete horrible selfish arsehole (as many are) but he's not. He's a lovely man who looks out for your mum. The fact that he inconveniences you to the point that you draw a diagram and start a thread about says a lot more about you than it does about him.

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