One thing that amazed me when I was pregnant with my first is that no one ever examined me to properly check if I was able to give birth naturally. No one looked at my pelvis or hips or indeed my vagina and I’m pretty small; I’m 5’2” quite slight, size 3 shoes.
This did used to be a thing. When I had my first child in the early 90s, I was in antenatal classes with a similarly petite woman who was booked in for a section for those reasons. I remember her saying something about the size of her feet (tiny). She did indeed have the section because we ended up on the postnatal ward at the same time.
I had an eight year gap between the first and second and I found the care to have gone considerably downhill in that period to such a degree I had home births for the last two children. I do sometimes worry how bad things have got now under the NHS and how much worse it might be for my DD if she has children.
I'm fortunate never to have suffered a birth injury or needed intervention but I have to say despite have no urinary continence issues directly following any birth I have still developed a slight issue a decade after the last pregnancy. I suspect the effects of having four children are not always fully escapable even if it's just down the line.
I feel a huge amount of sympathy for everyone on this thread who has had traumatic experiences. 