Would my baby be considered Mixed?

[CardboardAnnie]

I am mixed race, my husband is 100% white. Our baby would therefore be 75% white.

I think if I'm mixed, my child would obviously be mixed too. My husband disagrees. He thinks that our baby should just be classed as white (on forms etc).

Our baby most likely won't look particularly non white, some people don't always realise that I am mixed. But I am, and somehow it feels wrong to just write that part of me off?

It got a bit heated when we were discussing it again earlier, and I thought some outside opinions would help!

Put mixed for medical things as it affects whether they screen for certain conditions etc.
Agree, I did with my little boy when I was pregnant. I am white his dad is mixed but to be honest you can't tell our son is, apart from his hair which is afro now it was straight when he was born.

I'd be massively offended by your husband OP, why is he trying to deny your heritage? How rude and ignorant. Your children ARE mixed race whether he is in denial or not.

You are mixed therefore your child(ren) are mixed too. Genetics. DNA. Heritage.
My children are mixed. Although I am white and dp is black, DC are extremely lightskinned, we teach them (even though they are under 4yo) that they have both of us. They say they are light brown tbf. As they get older they will get to know more about both sides of the family. They can already point out on a map where we were born and their grandparents were born!

For me, it's about my own sense of identity - not other people's perceptions.

My Jewish mother came to this country as a refugee when she was 10. Leaving her native country was the defining experience of her life. My father is not English, but from another part of the UK - which is culturally quite different. He didn't speak English till he went to school, So the influences on me as a child weren't 'English', although people treated me as I was English. (In appearance I take after my father - slightly unusual combination of hair/eye colour, but otherwise not noticeably 'different.') I tick the box 'white other'. My parents backgrounds - which have shaped me - are important.

For what it's worth, I used to work in NHS research and we definitely counted a quarter as "mixed race", both for genetic predispositions and to note heritage.

Just a point on the medical stuff...if your DC has an Italian/Cypriot/etc grandparent its still a good idea to put 'white other'
Some diseases are more common in Mediterranean people.

Eg. When DS had prolonged jaundice as a baby they thought he might have Gilberts disease as I have a Sicilian grandfather. Its not something I'd ever heard of (DS was fine, he just had physiological/ breastmilk jaundice)

Weird that your DH wants to whitewash your background though. That’s clearly the main issue here

^^^
This

I have a Jamaican great grandmother and class myself as white. Jamaican granny was light skinned (multi generation mixed) and we've been white looking for generations.

There is a girl in my daughters class who is a 1/4 Indian. She is blond and blue eyed. Technically she is still mixed race, but you'd have to see her with her mum and Indian Grandad to know.

It's your call.

My great granny died when I was a toddler, but apparently she could pass for white, so I don't know what the actual percentages would be.

Friend is had Philippine.

Her two children with Mr 100% White are always known as white.

My DS is 3/4 white English, 1/4 Mediterranean country, with no contact or cultural ties with that part of the family.

I still put white / other on forms.
I think your DH is out of order.

There is a blood disorder that only affects Mediterranean people, thallasemia (sic) afaik, and other conditions that only affect some genetic backgrounds, so heritage can be relevant genetically/ medically.

I am mixed race and my childrens father is black, I class them as mixed race (they are very light anyway) and put mixed on forms as they are mixed. I would feel weird putting black. So yes I would say your child is mixed.

I am mixed black/white. My son's dad is white. We had this exact same discussion. It's one of the reasons I left him (amongst other things). Of course our son is mixed. Having 25% black in him absolutely makes him mixed. It's IMPORTANT - he's higher risk for certain illnesses for example. How dare he deny his son's heritage as well as mine?!

Hi OP my children have the exact same genetic mix,two are very pale but one is almost darker skinned than me.I class my children as mixed race x

"... Also don't forget you child could come out a darker mixed race than you, it's all a "game of pick and mix genes" as a genetic councillor told us."

^ This ^

My daughter's biological "father" (they've never met) is mixed - which means that, technically, the child he and I created, is also. However, 20 odd years ago, everyone told me that she's white-British, and that's how she has always been classified on forms. My son's father is white, and he raised her from birth, pretty much, and she passes as caucasian. Her boyfriend is also caucasian... but I've had to warn her quite recently that if she's thinking about having babies with him (long-term relationship, and they're at an age where all of their friends are reproducing themselves), she needs to tell him that her biological paternal grandmother is of African heritage. There is every chance that any baby she has, might have a darker skin tone than theirs, and/or features which aren't caucasian. I don't want her being accused of having had an affair if/when she hasn't, after all... particularly not with a newborn in the vicinity.

In my opinion, because you're mixed, then your daughter will be, too - even if only by 1/4 as opposed to 1/2 of her genetic make-up. And your husband/his family need to be prepared for your baby to display facial features and/or a skintone which are not caucasian, whether upon birth, or shortly afterwards. I know that, however your baby looks, they will be loved - but how they look may well be a shock to your husband/his family for a little while. Be prepared for that possibility.

And good luck

I would be very wary about making your mind up on something as frivolous as seeing what your baby looks like.

Apart from the obvious question of genetic illnesses which has been rightly stressed by other posters, it's treating its heritage like something you try to cover up if you can. And if the baby then has a sibling that features the other side of the family it could be very difficult. Or if the baby grows into a young child that looks more like one side of the family than they did as a baby.

This is interesting. I’m as white-British as they come (at least as far as I know) but my partner is a quarter Asian just like your baby. However, his family didn’t actually know this until he was an adult. He ‘looks’ white, he grew up thinking of himself as white rather than mixed, and today I think he still just says that he’s white unless he gets into a deeper conversation about it when he might then mention having an Asian grandparent.

On the other hand, one of my friends is married to a man who is half Asian. Their kids are being raised to know all about their heritage and culture and would definitely (I assume) identity as mixed race.

Basically I don’t see why it’s something you have to ‘decide’ for your daughter. She might look white, but she has a Chinese grandparent. That’s a fact. I’d be reluctant to talk about ‘classing’ a child as anything. If it’s relevant info on a form (medical etc) then you put it there. It doesn’t seem like something that you, as her parents should be ‘deciding’ for her.

If asked the race, just say human. we are after all part of the human race.

Mixed race, well that would be things like centaurs or mermaids

for SoloD

Does it matter?

OP, I think you can choose what to identify baby as.

My DC are mixed race. Their Dad (XH) is mixed race none of which is White British and he is obviously African & Black European. He and his family identify as White British due to their experiences and his as a full boarder in UK private school aged 7 years onwards who disowned his visits home to Africa once a year to see his parents. He insisted his DC were White British (as I am).

I only changed them to Mixed race after we divorced when DC were young, to recognise their cultural heritage - I'd gotten a lot of "their dad isn't English, is he?" and also "but two look white, except DD2" despite their darker skin, and middle DDs typical mixed race relaxed afro which requires different care.

They are simply mixed race and I didn't feel it fair on them to let them be whitewashed (after xdgf & xdf died as waited til then out of respect of their emotive experiences)

DC choose now. One sometimes says he's White British after he's seen his (fairly absent) Dad (who insists all his DC are White British) but the other two celebrate being Mixed race and their cultural heritage. It's particularly important to DD2. I guess they feel safer than their Dad did growing up, to recognise their mixed ethnicity.

I would say your child is white if it looks white and is 75% white.

And I say this as someone who is a quarter black. I look completely white.I would never tick mixed because I'm not.

I would say your child is white if it looks white and is 75% white

Not necessarily. Two of my DCs could pass for Italian or other southern European - but at home we live in a more 'foreign' way, with non British food and in many ways culture. They have experienced the prejudice sometimes shown to their mixed race parents (not least the number of times people assume I'm their nanny!). Do they have to count themselves as white but their brothers get to be mixed?

I do think this kind of question is better addressed to a forum that isn't as overwhelmingly white as Mumsnet.

Ethnicity has no legal standing, it is what a person chooses to call them selves.

eg Someone whos GG grand pappy left Dublin 150 years ago refers to themselves as American Irish eg 3.135% actual Irish blood , whilst ignoring the other 96.875% is a wonderful mix of English, Scottish, German, Dutch, Polish, Native American , Hungarian, Italian and Spanish.

Ethnicity is usually driven by the dominant parent, the one whose family customs you largely follow. Eg I have a (black) G/grandparent from Sierra Leone , a Norwegian G/grandparent and a German G/grandparent. I am white English. No one would think other wise. unless Im in the deep south of the USA and they can spot the one drop from 50 paces I do not identify as Black, Sierra Leonean, German, Norwegian, Scots or anything else in the mix.

Your child will choose her own path.