Would my baby be considered Mixed?

[CardboardAnnie]

I am mixed race, my husband is 100% white. Our baby would therefore be 75% white.

I think if I'm mixed, my child would obviously be mixed too. My husband disagrees. He thinks that our baby should just be classed as white (on forms etc).

Our baby most likely won't look particularly non white, some people don't always realise that I am mixed. But I am, and somehow it feels wrong to just write that part of me off?

It got a bit heated when we were discussing it again earlier, and I thought some outside opinions would help!

I’ve always gone on the basis of whether the race is fairly prominent in the family history, which I’ve always taken to be up to grandparents. When you’re pregnant you’re asked various medical history questions and the ‘close family’ questions include grandparents (as in, grandparents of the baby, ie your parents).

I’m white and DH is mixed race (one white parent, one Indo-Caribbean parent). On any forms we put down that the DCs are ‘mixed other’ (as this is usually the applicable option). If it’s free text or there are a lot of options we simply specify their heritage.

This feels important to me for a couple of reasons. Practically speaking, because medical professionals are alert to conditions that are more common among different ethnicities, such as diabetes and glaucoma in patients with South Asian heritage, so I think it’s important their ethnicity is properly recorded.

Personally and culturally, because their dad is not white British, and also happened to grow up with the Indo-Caribbean side of his family and not the white British side. This is evidenced in day to day things, like the food that we cook and eat and the family stories. It would just feel weird to say my children are white British when not only are they genetically not, but culturally they are growing up in a household which naturally is made up in part by their father’s cultural heritage and they are frequently in the company of their extended Indo-Caribbean family. It would feel like we were pretending that doesn’t exist and that would just be odd

I'm mixed but I look white. I never tick that I'm mixed. I'm not ashamed of it I just never saw the point given how white I look.

There are a few people who are 1/4 E/SE Asian and are 'white'

See Van Halen:

asaloesoel.igv.nl/the-indo-dutch-roots-of-alex-and-eddie-van-halen/

Rob Schneider

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rob_Schneider#Early_life

Mark Paul Gosselaar is (at least) 1/4 Indonesian

www.alamy.com/hollywood-ca-june-6-l-r-actor-mark-paul-gosselaar-and-mother-paula-gosselaar-attend-the-city-slickers-hollywood-premeire-on-june-6-1991-at-manns-chinese-theatre-in-hollywood-california-photo-by-barry-kingalamy-stock-photo-image187549071.html

Zack Morris was WHITE.

Does mixed heritage specifically pertain to white British and black?
What about white British and another white background? Say Canadian where’s most family hx are British or French heritage?
I filled out the grandkids school (independent) applications and was confused.
Some had white other
But the distinction on the forms for Irish (who are generally white) confused me.
I presumed this has more to do with history and less to do with either family tree or genetics?

Part of the issue is that race doesn’t exist. There is no dividing line or cut off really. It’s a social construct based on how people look which is a tiny part of their genes.

However, that said, I find it quite worrying your DH wants to erase part of your heritage from his family.

I have a distant cousin who looks very clearly mixed race - she has dark skin and Afro hair. Both of her parents are white and as far as they knew had no other ethnic mix in their heritage. They looked into the family tree and my cousin’s great great great gran on her Dad’s side came from the Caribbean. So quite a long way back in the family history.

DH argument was where do you draw the line? What if our baby had children with a white person would they be mixed etc? He thinks of mixed as being half and half. I sort of understand but I'm sticking with my I'm mixed, baby is mixed logic!

This is so idiotic. Your DCs will be able to identify themselves as they wish. If you pass on your Chinese heritage they may feel Chinese no matter what they look like.

No offense - and I say this as a BME person married to a white man - I think your DH is struggling with the reality of having a child who isn't 100% white and this is his weird way of expressing it. You need to have a conversation about racial issues before this baby is born.

I don't think it's really necessary to write down your race on any forms. It's not like the US where it seems to be more a standard question.

Be proud of that quarter Chinese though.

I don't really understand the concept of race, we are all one race and all have mixed heritage. Fair enough to monitor ethnicity for equal opportunities and diversity purposes, but I don't like terms like "mixed" and "of colour". It seems othering. We are all mixed and a colour.

Dh argument was where do you draw the line? What if our baby had children with a white person would they be missed etc?

How your child(ren) decide to identify their further hypothetical children or as adults themselves will be for them to decide. Not their father / grandfather. Your child(ren) are definitely mixed. I’m pretty incensed by your dh insisting otherwise.

Does he realise how racist he is sounding? Does he understand that you are carrying your child and want to identify with your baby?? I’m white btw. My dh is white but not from the U.K. I could imagine how the conversation would go if I said dd was exclusively British.

There is a girl in dds class. She’s 1/4 Chinese. She definitely has some facial traits. I’ve no idea how her parents identify her on forms although I imagine it would be mixed. She is definitely linked to her ancestry.

Very at posters believing that being mixed race can help you apply for a scholarship...

Genetically, its not as straightforward as it seems.

A child inherits half their DNA from you, half from the Dad, which half is down to chance, so in theory they could inherit 100% of your 'caucasian' DNA or 100% of your 'non-caucasian' DNA, in reality, and statisitically it's likely to be close to half, but a relatively small number of genes determine quite striking appearance phenotypes, so it only takes a few genes here or there to have very different looking children - hence some mixed race couples who have strikingly different looking children.

So in reality its about cultural upbringing. My dad is half indian, so If asked I tell people I'm between 0% and 50% indian, but most likely about a quarter.

just to answer the question of the previous poster re Irish. Irish/Scottish is it's own DNA grouping which is seperate to other types of white people just as there are many hundreds of different genetic groupings of white people. White doesn't equal English. I know because like Conan O'Brien I am 100% Irish/Scottish from DNA testing.

All our groupings developed 1000s of years ago in different places.

Put mixed for medical things as it affects whether they screen for certain conditions etc.

Not RTFT (too tired atm)

I'm half black and half white and DP is Lilly white. I put down mixed black and white for DD but I sort of think of her as a white baby because she's got blue eyes and for now anyway straight /wavy hair but she is noticeably more tanned than ell the white babies I've seen (she's 3 months so no sun tans yet, not that I'll put her in the sun to tan)

I think for social stuff her children if she has them with a white man would be white but maybe mention the bit of black for medical stuff just in case? Not sure how far different ethnicities health issues really go?

Your question is whether the child would be ‘considered’ (ie by others) to be mixed. The question is one of other people’s perceptions. That depends on what they look like.

However I think the more important question is how the child perceives themselves. I would hope that my descendants (if one quarter my heritage) would consider themselves to be mixed race. I would hope they took particular interest in the culture, art, history, cuisine etc of that country. I would hope they would visit it one day and feel that small sense of a jigsaw piece coming into place. And yes, I think someone who is a quarter Chinese would be considered mix race ‘enough’ for any particular awards/prizes/affirmative action issues. It’s the only duty of both parents to be positive and proud and vocal of this ‘quarter’ part of their genes. I would, quite frankly, be fucking furious if any child in law of mine said that my grandchild was white because they were only a quarter of my ethnicity.

This isn't apartheid era South Africa. What's with all the percentages, op?

Those forms are hard to complete! I am a quarter from Luxembourg but always put white British as it has never occurred to me not to. My partner is a mix of Portuguese, Indian and African. So our DD is technically all those things and fits none of the boxes. I just tick mixed other. She calls herself mixed too. She could probably pass for white British in terms of her appearance but I wouldn’t hide her heritage or encourage her to as I don’t see any reason to. I do think it is a bit weird that your partner is trying to gloss over her Chinese heritage.

Race is not a colour so yes they are mixed race....

My kids are half of one and half of another but blonde white and blue eyes but they are of mixed race.

bellinisurge I don't know about other people's experiences but being mixed I often get judged as to how black I am. "You don't sound black"/"you must love Nando's, black people love chicken"/"you don't hang around with the black group of girls"/"you don't dress or wear your hair like black people do"

The percentages get used in both ways, of course I'm not as "black" as my cousins because I grew up with a white parent as well as a black parent (and I lived in a whiter area) and I'm half black so of course I'm blacker than my white friends... they've never set foot in a Pak's store but I get hair products from there.

Especially on medical forms. For example when I am pregnant they ask where my dh is from so they can check if any other genetic tests need to be done to check for illness etc. Also some children with parents from other countries need different jabs or extra. So I would put it on medical forms 100%

This isn't apartheid era South Africa. What's with all the percentages, op?

Er... because it's the essence of her query.

One half of my heritage is Anglo Indian.

Both one parent's parents and back beyond were mixed back to the late 18th early 19th century. There was a long history of European men who went to India and stayed, marrying Indian women. The surnames involved in my Anglo Indian heritage are only English and Irish.

Looks wise, my sibling looks Indian, but despite black hair I have pale skin (that burns and goes back to white!) and freckles.

But I feel a fraud ticking the mixed box, because I look white.

I'm same as you op and I consider my dc mixed. Your dc may not look 100% white, it's obvious that my children are mixed race. Even tho I consider myself half Scottish half Chinese I had a ancestry DNA test for Xmas and apparently I'm 69% Chinese 😀 and only 23% Scottish and 8% few other things 😂