To press charges against this parent?

[Rosegarden10]

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

People seem surprised that the doors were locked. I work in a school and the doors from the foyer to the school are locked at all times! There is a button release on the inside (at adult head height) and it also releases in the event if the fire alarm going off. Staff have a security fob to press against a pad which releases the doors for us to get in. General public including parents should not be able to get into a school without being physically let in (and accompanied) by a member of staff.

Actually, re-reading the OP, it seems the parent did actually gain access to the school, just not the 'hall' (gym-hall?).
Are all internal door windows reinforced also?

Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass.

Yeah, this happened......

@whippersnapperwrapper me too! I feel like we've only had half the story and the op has responded with the internet equivalent to banging on a door and smashing the glass...

It does sound very scary for the children and staff. I think you do need to reassure your child and downplay it to them, but push it with the school. Children are going to need school to speak to them all I think and school should consider if this parent should be allowed back in the school site, seeing her again could be quite scary for children.

Of course she could have been asked. Just because we don't have guns easily available doesn't mean someone can't have a weapon. What if staff had let in a violently angry parent who was threatening to kill the head teacher and then she did follow through and/or harmed some children? People would be quick to say staff should have taken her more seriously.

I wish you lot hadn't scared the OP away.

So many salient questions.

Windowsareforcheaters

No, it doesn’t change the point, but if you are going to refer to someone about such an emotive case the very least you can do is give them the respect of getting the very basic facts about their case correct.

I knew you were a nosey one whipper!

Kids who are prone to exaggeration and some, if not many will be enjoying 'oh my God we nearly died'. That's what's happens with kids.
Yup yup. I trapped my finger in the doors at school when I was little, had a day off – there was blood and it was pretty gross. Came back to rumours ranging from "lost her entire hand" to "her arm was torn off and she died". 😂

OP, you've stressed repeatedly that you weren't there. So you really have no clue how terrifying it was or wasn't, what the majority of kids thought or didn't, what this woman was saying or yelling, how any of it happened. You were not a witness and children aren't necessarily credible witnesses.

As for the broken glass: again when I was little, the kids on a school trip where the glass on the top deck of the bus broke dined out on that for YEARS. The "trauma" will wear off, the story will get exaggerated (as if it hasn't already ), and all the children present will have a great "remember when?" to reminisce about.

And we have the eleventy hundreth person coming on to explain the exact same thing that has been explained eleventy hundred time

Yes! And a fuck ton of posters that are assuming the OP has the full story. And isn't just listening to a story that's been exaggerated by children.

No one said it was ok. No one said the OP wanted money, simply she wanted them to pay. Which she said, I cant see people taking that as money, apart from posters that are tackling posters who have quoted her.

This thread is batshit. If people believe a bunch of kids that have had a bit of scare and proved to have blown it out proportion, then they need to really think about their sources of factual information.

Chances are the police didn't arrest her because there were no death threats or windows smashed.

Fuck me its very very small wonder this site has the reputation it does, at times.
Do some of you get off on being nasty for the sake of it. It will not must have been traumatic for the children. Someone hurling abuse and banging on the windows and Yes she should have been arrested and at the very least cautioned.
I bet you're all the type that won't have the wind blow or a rain drop fall on your kids.

Struggling to understand why on earth the doors were locked in the first place - apart from anything else, it is a major fire hazard to have the main exit point locked. The school should know this.

Almost every school I've been too, including my own, has locked doors. Ours are locked all day. They can be easily opened from the inside, just not from the outside. There is no health and safety risk. At an event like this at our school the main gates would be unlocked if after school though usually a teacher or adult manning them too to check for escapee children. The main doors however would be locked, but again manned as the office would be closed so no buzzing in possible.

We also have glass in the windows. It allows natural light. We are not a prison and don't live life expecting to be attacked. It's toughened glass for h and s reasons, but it would be possible to smash them of force was used. Again, pretty much every school I visit has glass in the main doors.

Of course the children would be alarmed, as would the staff and adults attending. They would need to protect the children from witnessing such an incident, and would follow school procedures. That wouldn't drop the adults being concerned however. Depending on the location I can see why staff may be concerned about weapons too.

This would not be a normal incident here and would be scary for those involved. Why people feel they just minimise the incident I've no idea. Obviously as a parent to a scared child you'd try to play it down, but on this thread - no need.

However OP, there is nothing more you can do. Reassure your child and accept that school will deal with the parent accordingly, and thereby reduce the chances of a repeat incident.

RogerBannister if we are going to be picky and awkward you did not acknowledge this" 'No, it doesn’t change the point' in your first post.

You pointed out the mistakes but not that the underlying principle remains the same. That's quite important on this thread.

We all make mistakes when we post some are bigger than others. But if you are going to be an arse make sure your corrections cover all the relevant points.

My apologies for my original mistake - I remembered the name but not the exact details of the case. I will reiterate we should not put any teachers or carers in the position Lisa Potts was put in. Doors should be locked and lock down procedures put in place.

I'm a bit that a primary age child should suspect a terrorist attack when an angry shouty woman bashes on a glass door and breaks it. What have these children been allowed to watch on tv?

Haven't read beyond ^^, but certainly where I live all schools have regular lockdown practices, as terrorist attacks could happen at a school at any time, so children are well aware of potential threats. If schools didn't take seriously an 'angry shouty' person breaking a glass door, who then went on to attack children, everyone would be up in arms about why precautions weren't immediately taken. Sadly, we can't just assume people aren't armed - with knives, acid, whatever, these days.

I think the real question is, why are you asking a question on an AIBU thread if you don't actually want anyone's opinion?

Don’t be ridiculous, sit your child down and calmly explain that the woman clearly isn’t well. If your child has been ‘traumatised ‘ by this you should probably start working on resilience now.

Remember Lisa Potts who died protecting children from an attacker with an axe?

Lisa didn’t die. She was badly injured, but recovered and wrote a book about her experience. This doesn’t have anything to do with the thread, but chances are she reads Mumsnet from time to time.

People extrapolating how doors couldn't be locked and the like from their own child's school layout aren't helping this one by the way. I've been in and out of a LOT of schools (I'm a supply teacher) and the layouts differ so wildly that there are a lot of schools where you could cover a disco in the hall with just an adult stood by the door to make sure no kids leave unattended... then there are schools like the one my kids attend (and I'm a governor of - incidentally we re-approved the lockdown drill recently so I know in fairly good detail how our school handles things) where if we have something like a school disco going on we have to leave the doors on "lock" setting as our internal foyer doors go straight into the school hall - so you can access the foyer but then need to be let in by someone physically already in the school building to get into the hall and main school areas proper. Door automatically locks behind you but you can exit from inside by pressing the button easily. In terms of fire doors - those lead out from the hall into the locked school playground area. We can lock down further by pulling the kids into their year group areas and locking the doors from these into the hall if we need to - those doors are normally on an entrance code and left open.

I'm seriously impressed with how quiet your school discos are if you can hear shouting and banging and death threats over the noise of 4-11 year olds and music going... ours with just the 5-7 year olds in is like Lord of the Flies with added Haribo set to the soundtrack of Baby Shark and I need a lie down in a darkened room to get over the experience.

Someone hurling abuse and banging on the windows and Yes she should have been arrested and at the very least cautioned.

Another poster that clearly didn't read enough to know that theres no facts around this.

Its school yard gossip that came from the kids themselves.

While I think OP is being more than a little over the top wanting to “press charges” because of her child’s traumatic experience I can assure all the “this couldn’t be true” people that it really can happen. A few years ago we had a situation during the school day where I had to trigger a lockdown because a parent had turned up in the foyer and was attacking our locked doors with a hammer. The glass did start to break but was not “going through” IYSWIM. Children were scared but not half as much as I was as I sheltered under my desk on the phone to the police hoping that they got there before he actually managed to get in!

OP should minimise it when talking to her child about it though. Point out to the child that the teachers kept them safe and always will.

They need to employ a better DJ. A decent sound system and 120 children should have drowned out the noise of a woman banging on some doors and kicking some glass.

The noise wouldn't necessarily been allowed to be higher if in a residential area. And with younger children there are often noise limits too. Our discos don't have 120 children in the hall at a time either.
Also depends on the closeness of the door and the hall. Ours are relatively close. Noise definitely travels here and a large pane of glass smashing would echo right through our old building.

Re the terrorism - older primary children watch the news and read articles. Children's newspapers and news programmes cover terrorism and they cover knife crime. At the moment the latter is covered a lot.

Again, why are so many people trying to minimise the incident on here?

Again, why are so many people trying to minimise the incident on here?

Because the bop has nothing more than school yard gossip to go on.

Tomorrow, when she likely finds out it's all highly exaggerated is she going to want the gossiping kids 'to pay'.

Though I am betting she comes backs and says all her story was true and the school confirmed it. But theres no chance the kids have given an accurate story. Adult eyewitnesses are notoriously bad at being accurate. Kids are even worse, cause they are kids.

And did you want whoever started the rumour to pay?
No because they were primary school children. What a bizarre non-sequeture.

Why were age 4-11 all together as that seems rather odd and is there a fire exit or is a locked door the only exit

Normal in small schools.
Locked doors covered several tunes.

Schoolyard gossip it may be, but the OP does know, that some of the older kids were crying, that police were called to the incident, that the disco was shut down and parents were called to collect the children.
In the absence of what happened or will happen being communicated from the school, nobody knows.
But there was no need to tell her she was a horrible drama llama parent looking for damages.