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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Facebook comment

21 replies

NigelGresley · 09/03/2019 08:30

I commented (politely Smile) about the irony of something in a company’s post about IWD, and it just ended up being a bit of a pile-in with lots of men saying stuff along the lines of “woman just wants to be offended” , “can’t get anything right these days”, “oh shut up and get back in the kitchen” type stuff etc...

Of all the other women who must have seen the post/commented elsewhere, not a single one came to back me up.

Just left me feeling a bit deflated that after I’d had the confidence to call this company out nobody else could be bothered.

On the other hand, I felt that the men’s comments really spoke for themselves, and really demonstrated the importance of why we still need IWD.

Sorry I can’t reveal the actual comments or it would be outing. I know I should bother less with FB but that allows some of those who do (like the men above) to carry on stewing in their own echo chamber.

OP posts:
FudgeBrownie2019 · 09/03/2019 08:39

Anyone who jumps on an IWD with anything but support is a piece of shit. Pointing that out might not win you friends, but it certainly filters out the people you no longer need to respect or give your time to.

I posted an IWD quote yesterday and a friend of DH's commented "I'll celebrate IWD when there's an International Mens Day, and until then the women who want equality can go back to shaving their beards" and was shot down in flames by about 47 friends of mine (male and female) including my 13 year old son who said "every day is IMD with dicks like you on social media".

Everyone should call out when people behave like pricks. The world would be a far better place.

redexpat · 09/03/2019 08:42

Kudos for trying. It takes bravery. I answered one who felt patronised and wanted to know if anything was being done to redress the balance of teaching staff in schools.

HarrysOwl · 09/03/2019 08:43

I complained once about a company's sexist 'joke' they'd used as promotion and got a really nasty reply from them.

I didn't know what else to do, but I boycott the company now and other friends/family do the same.

It sucks when you become the subject of the same abuse you're calling them out on!

BUT if you could tell us which company imagine the onslaught of Mumsnetters coming to back you up and tearing them a new one Grin

Original poster
NigelGresley · 09/03/2019 08:45

Do you think it’s something to do with most people preferring to follow what they see as the popular opinion, even if it goes against how they really feel?

OP posts:
Original poster
NigelGresley · 09/03/2019 08:47

BUT if you could tell us which company imagine the onslaught of Mumsnetters coming to back you up and tearing them a new one

That would be great but I can’t as it would be totally outing!

OP posts:
grafittiartist · 09/03/2019 08:49

It does validate the need for IWD though doesn't it! They have just shown why it's important. Well done and don't give up the fight!

SayNoToCarrots · 09/03/2019 08:49

@fudgebrownie2019 there is one

GottenGottenGotten · 09/03/2019 08:52

@fudgebrownie2019 I hope you told him that 19th November this year is the 20th anniversary of International men's day!

Pinkcat231 · 09/03/2019 08:52

Yes, it’s tricky, most people seem to want to follow the crowd but I would have backed you up if I’d seen it!

I saw the company I work for promoting it with one of their external campaigns on social media but the reality is there’s a huge gender pay gap there and the only man on my team was promoted without anyone else even hearing it was available! I had to stop myself commenting because obviously I would lose my job even though it’s true. Angry

GottenGottenGotten · 09/03/2019 08:54

Op, post the link and I'll pitch in! I'm sure others would too.

Palegreenstars · 09/03/2019 09:01

I’m surprised that no one backed you up. Their opinion is very unpopular.

Richard Herring the comedian was tweeting any idiot who asked ‘when International Men’s Day is?’ To advise them it’s November 19th. He raised £100k in sponsorship for Refuge. He does it every year and it’s the one time you want the total to reduce year on year because it will mean there are less idiots in the world.

Enidthecat · 09/03/2019 09:12

I think I saw your comment but I won't out you I promise!

I did see it and thought that you had a point to some degree, but I also did really think that the post was pretty accurate tbh. I definitely don't think you should have been jumped on as much as you were though, it wasn't necessary!

Facebook is full of bored people who like to get a rise out of folk. Let it go over your head, today is a new day.

thedisorganisedmum · 09/03/2019 09:25

I think blind support and putting everything in the same bag for IWD is cringey and patronising.

I am bored of the attitude of SOME feminists who pretend that it's a men vs women world, and we are the constant victims. It's bollocks, it's damaging because it hides the real issues. Make a joke of an entire movement and no one will take anything seriously.

MiGi777 · 09/03/2019 09:28

I wouldn't take any notice of anything EVER on face book. It really doesn't matter-it's Face Book. 😃

AppleKatie · 09/03/2019 09:29

The actions of some women(who you don’t agree with) invalidate the whole of feminism?

Really?

Is that a bit like how the actions of domestic abusers invalidate the whole concept of marriage?

Oh wait.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 09/03/2019 09:33

I'm just going round in circles trying to work out which company it could be if posting about IWD is ironic. The Sun perhaps? The Presidents Club? The local repair garage where you take your car in for an oil change and it suddenly needs an entire exhaust, 4 new tyres, a new clutch.....?

eyeswideshit · 09/03/2019 09:34

I had a debate on FB yesterday over the advantages men have in everyday life. No one else joined in. But after it had ended, some woman did thank me for saying something, and it made me realise the worst thing we can do is say nothing at all. I may not have changed that guys mind, but I at least made him think about his thought process.

There are many times I don't speak up, as I know it can have a negative impact on my mental health. So thank you for saying something, and though no one commented, I'm sure there will have been people reading cheering you on.

Original poster
NigelGresley · 09/03/2019 09:50

Thanks for the support everyone, knew I could count on you Grin

It’s was partially down to mumsnet that I took the decision to comment.
But I understand why others don’t. People don’t want to enter into a full on debate with FB strangers in front of all their friends.

OP posts:
Original poster
NigelGresley · 09/03/2019 10:01

I'm just going round in circles trying to work out which company it could be if posting about IWD is ironic.

It wasn’t the posting about IWD that was ironic, it’s how it was done.

OP posts:
Enidthecat · 09/03/2019 10:27

OK now I'm sure I know which one it was! 😁 I was a bit surprised when I saw the post. But yes, Facebook is full of rubbish, don't let it bother you.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 09/03/2019 12:26

Oh got you. I thought it was posting about it at all that was ironic, my apologies. still want to know who it was though

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