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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To banish DP from the bedroom until he gets his feet sorted..

99 replies

Februaryblooms · 09/03/2019 00:19

DP is not an unhygenic person in general and showers every single day without fail, the problem is his feet. They are rancid. Even after he washes and puts on fresh socks they stink. The smell does not go away and it's extremely difficult to live with. It has been this way for the past 18 months and I've had enough of it after repeatedly telling him he needs to have whatever it is treated.

He's on his feet constantly with work but has accepted there must be a fungal infection causing the problem. He refuses to see the GP because "it's embarrassing" and hasn't bothered buying anything for it himself so continues to inflict it on me and poor DS. I'm at the end of my tether.

He tries to 'manage' it at home by constantly changing his socks, buying new ones, doing several wash loads per week of just his socks and washing himself religiously every day which makes no difference whatsoever. He refuses to talk to a pharmacist or GP at all.

AIBU to ban him from sleeping in the bed until he sorts his bloody feet. I can't stomach it any more

OP posts:

81Byerley · 09/03/2019 11:35

I can recommend Lamisil Once. It's a single treatment that he puts all over his feet including between his toes. My husband didn't have the smell problem, but he did have a horrendous fungal foot infection that hadn't been cured by anything else, and my chiropodist recommended this. www.chemistdirect.co.uk/lamisil-once/prd-5p It's worth a try!

GummyGoddess · 09/03/2019 11:37

At least if they are amputated they won't be bothering anybody.

slipperywhensparticus · 09/03/2019 11:37

My dad had horrible smelling feet because he ate cheese does his feet look bad or just smell bad

AwdBovril · 09/03/2019 11:42

Just realised, DH used to have pitted keratolysis due to having longterm untreated athletes foot. Once I put my foot down (sorry!) & insisted he sort it as I couldn't stand the smell, he got some athletes foot treatment & it went within a few months. He goes barefoot most of the time at home now & his feet are completely fine.

I never heard of pitted keratolysis before, I just thought the weird pitting was peculiar to his manky feet.

DointItForTheKids · 09/03/2019 11:43

Why are some men SO utterly pathetic - especially when it comes to things which negatively affect other people?! Thank god for being single is all I can say. It's smelly feet, not infection dripping out the end of his penis - smelly FEET! Get a grip man!!!

I'd be giving a deadline and an ultimatum of my choice at this point. Bodily smells like that are totally unacceptable in this day and age - access to water, soap, scrubs, a multitude of solutions on the internet (which throws his 'it's embarrassing' pleas right out of the water), clinically approved treatments, and a range of practical solutions like throw out existing work boots/buy several pairs of new work boots and use in rotation with full airing out in between/spend lots of time with feet in fresh air not in shoes - but he's choosing to do NOTHING. He's absolutely full of it and no, he would not be coming into the bedroom until the smell was fixed. It would be one thing if it was a medical condition well managed but it's impossible to get rid of the smell, but it isn't - it's just total apathy and a complete lack of respect for himself and his family and everyone else around him!

JaneEyre07 · 09/03/2019 11:48

He COULD do something about it.

He's choosing not to.

I'd ban him from the house let alone the bedroom.

It's so disrespectful. He doesn't care that it's impacting you.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 09/03/2019 11:48

Tell the gobshite he's being a lazy man child and to grow the fuck up and deal with it. How fucking dare he make his family suffer because he can't be arsed sorting it out.

Not buying the embarrassed bullshit. If he was embarrassed he would have sorted it straight away, especially after comments from work or family.

He can hold down a job but can't type "how to deal with smelly feet" into Google?!

And there is no way he's scrubbing feet in the shower. Doubt he even washes them. Probably thinks simply standing in the running water for a few mins is adequate.

Goldmandra · 09/03/2019 11:51

DH used to be like this. It was vile to live with.

In the end I insisted on a regime of new shoes, hot-washed socks and alcohol gel all over his feet several times a day. If he put any older shoes/boots on, he washed and alcohol gelled his feet immediately afterwards. I was completely anal about it and it irritated the hell out of him at the time but it worked and the problem has stayed away.

Madbengalmum · 09/03/2019 11:52

Ok, so here is the rub from a foot specialist. The GP is just that a General Practitioner, not a foot specialist. Most doctors will just prescribe oral medication which can be ineffective and or disruptive. Or they will send you to Boots etc. Both routes are not going to cut it. The condition needs properly diagnosing by either a foot health practitioner or podiatrist. They will then advise the most effective route of treatment. As I always say over the counter foot treatments for fungal infection or verruca or corns are ineffective without prior intervention from a professional to provide the appropriate base for treatment, as treating on top of dead skin, callous or nails is just a waste of time and money!

IHateUncleJamie · 09/03/2019 11:56

What a child. What would he do if he found a testicular lump?

Just as well he doesn’t have to have smear tests.

Time for an ultimatum, OP. GP or he moves out until he sorts it.

He does understand that GPs have seen everything under the sun, does he?

Butterfly84 · 09/03/2019 11:56

He needs to get to the doctors and fast. If it's at the point when they're stinking, who knows where it could lead to...toes going dead etc. Maybe try some scare tactics about what could happen if he doesn't get this sorted.

Madbengalmum · 09/03/2019 12:01

Butterfly, sorry but that won't happen, and he needs a foot specialist not a gp. There was no mention by OP of any vascular compromise, just a fungal infection.

flingingmelon · 09/03/2019 12:06

Surely if he's stinking out the locker room at work he'll be getting a bit of stick for it? Won't that be embarrassing?

I don't understand men.

MitziK · 09/03/2019 12:10

My ex had horrendous stinky feet and found it amusing.

Eventually, I caught it from him. I didn't notice initially, as the stench was so prevalent in the flat, but after he departed for the young replacement, I realised it was happening to me.

I sorted it by buying Hibiscrub from the chemist and using it daily, chucking out all my shoes and starting again - from fresh, as it were.

DD told me that Ms Replacement took one sniff of his bin bag of shoes when he moved in, picked the bag up and dumped it into their massive communal bins so he couldn't get them back. I secretly admired her for the confidence and determination to set ground rules before he'd even got everything out of his car.

PenelopeFlintstone · 09/03/2019 12:12

OP, does he actually have athlete's foot? or just normal looking feet which smell bad?

Lwmommy · 09/03/2019 12:14

Just pick up.some of the one treatment and your done athletes foot stuff. Bung all his socks in a 90 degree wash and fill his shoes with some athletes foot powder.

You can get it in the.supermarket no need for a GP or pharmacist

MirriVan · 09/03/2019 12:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Howzaboutye · 09/03/2019 12:24

Listerine (original) footbath every day for a week!

New socks and shoes.

If that doesn't work he needs a chiropodist.

chuttypicks · 09/03/2019 12:33

He needs to buy some canesten cream and cotton socks. Apply the cream liberally twice a day. Problem should be solved and no doctor needed as they sell canesten in the supermarket.

woollyheart · 09/03/2019 12:33

This is weird!

It is too embarrassing to go and discuss with a medical expert who is there for dealing with medical problems.

It is not too embarrassing to have people (colleagues, family) commenting on the smell being a problem.

What happens if he ever has a really embarrassing medical problem?

Girlwhowearsglasses · 09/03/2019 12:33

He needs to go to a podiatrist (modern name for chiropodist) because he needs to have the dead skin removed from his feet. This is impossible to do properly yourself. DP has had this recurring for 15 years and podiatrist got rid of all the hard skin on his feet (he said it’s was like walk-in on air afterwards) and wrote to his doctors to tell them exactly what antibiotic cream to prescribe. It was bacterial and not fungal in his case - and embedded in the skin.

He’ll NEVER get it sorted without a podiatrist - GP may prescribe the right cream but it will be pointless.

HTH

Girlwhowearsglasses · 09/03/2019 12:37

Also GP may not know enough to tell him to go to a podiatrist or just prescribe anti fungal cream.

Google Nhs podiatrist or chripodist near you

Babygrey7 · 09/03/2019 12:37

Just get him to rub on some Canesten anti fungal cream for a week (over the counter)

Then burn all his socks and shoes and buy new ones

k1233 · 09/03/2019 12:42

Do you have GPs that do house visits? If so book one for when you know he'll be home. Give them a heads up on the problem and don't let him wriggle out of it when they show up.

AnnaMagnani · 09/03/2019 12:51

Do you have GPs that do house visits?

Sorry but this is the funniest advice I've ever heard on here.

House visits are for the genuinely house bound and the terminally ill. Not a capable working man who is embarrassed by his smelly feet.

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