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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To banish DP from the bedroom until he gets his feet sorted..

99 replies

Februaryblooms · 09/03/2019 00:19

DP is not an unhygenic person in general and showers every single day without fail, the problem is his feet. They are rancid. Even after he washes and puts on fresh socks they stink. The smell does not go away and it's extremely difficult to live with. It has been this way for the past 18 months and I've had enough of it after repeatedly telling him he needs to have whatever it is treated.

He's on his feet constantly with work but has accepted there must be a fungal infection causing the problem. He refuses to see the GP because "it's embarrassing" and hasn't bothered buying anything for it himself so continues to inflict it on me and poor DS. I'm at the end of my tether.

He tries to 'manage' it at home by constantly changing his socks, buying new ones, doing several wash loads per week of just his socks and washing himself religiously every day which makes no difference whatsoever. He refuses to talk to a pharmacist or GP at all.

AIBU to ban him from sleeping in the bed until he sorts his bloody feet. I can't stomach it any more Sad

OP posts:
PregnantSea · 09/03/2019 05:07

Maybe banishing him to another room will make him see how much the problem affects you?

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 09/03/2019 10:23

Thanks all for the recommendations I'm going to put these to him today!

OP posts:
NoParticularPattern · 09/03/2019 10:29

I think the only thing I’d be putting to him is this: he either sees a medical professional and gets whatever it is sorted, or he moves out. He clearly gives absolutely zero shits about anyone else otherwise he’d have listened to you and his work colleagues about this before now.

Chloemol · 09/03/2019 10:33

So you go and ha e a chat with the pharmacist then and get something and tell him to use it

NotSoThinLizzy · 09/03/2019 10:38

Are you sure it's a fungal thing my OH has this and its caused by primary hyperhidrosis it's vile only way to fix it botox injections

Connieston · 09/03/2019 10:38

Honestly bog standard athlete's foot cream will most likely sort it out. Boots own brand is under a fiver. Athletes foot can be ridiculously smelly but so easy to treat. I agree if he doesn't sort it or at least try it's disrespectful to you.

randomchap · 09/03/2019 10:49

Although he is showering daily is he actually scrubbing his feet? My FIL has a bad back and struggles with bending, his feet got pretty rancid until he got a shower foot scrubber.

www.jmldirect.com/health-and-beauty/foot-and-nail-care/shower-feet-foot-scrubber-with-built-in-pumice-stone/

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 09/03/2019 10:58

I've just brought it up with him and he's playing the martyr saying it's "gone beyond help" and he probably needs them amputating Hmm

Now obviously he's taking the piss about that but he isn't taking it seriously.

I said so what are you going to do then, just leave it to fester and force me and DS (and soon DD) to live with the smell. He didn't answer that.

He reiterated he didn't know what to buy so I listed off every recommendation here and said I'd done some research.

I can't see him bothering unless I railroad him to the chemist myself which it looks like I'll have to do.

I took great pleasure in telling him it could result in the bacteria spreading to his groin Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Februaryblooms · 09/03/2019 10:59

Not actually sure whether he's scrubbing his feet when he's in the shower actually.. It's entirely possible that he's not. I only assumed he would be doing because he's aware there's a problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
Februaryblooms · 09/03/2019 11:01

I do think embarrassment is a huge part of not seeing somebody about it but clearly that embarrassment isn't inclusive of us as he doesn't seem to care that we have to live with it.

OP posts:
SerenDippitty · 09/03/2019 11:04

Hoew do his toenails look?

BigChocFrenzy · 09/03/2019 11:14

He's being very childish
He needs to man up and see the GP

orangeblosssom · 09/03/2019 11:17

Might be this-
pitted keratolysis

May need antibiotics

Bovneydazzlers · 09/03/2019 11:20

Get him to watch this:

(Embarrassing bodies on exactly this issue)
He stops being a selfish wuss and goes to the doctors

RandomMess · 09/03/2019 11:20

Ask him how embarrassed he would be if it got listed on your divorce petition...

TheBrilloPad · 09/03/2019 11:20

No medical knowledge, but my sister had the stinkiest feet ever. I could smell her feet even after she'd left a room- just from where her feet had walked etc. It was appalling. She did Footner, which is often recommended on here. It's about £12 from amazon. Just a bag you wear on your foot for an hour, then over the next week or so all the dead skin peels off. Once it was done, her feet were fine! It was just the gross layers and layers of dead skin on her feet that were making it bad. Maybe worth a try

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/03/2019 11:24

Yep, I'd boot him out the bedroom too. Although I'd have probably done that for the snoring, never mind the stinking mouldy feet!

TheFrendo · 09/03/2019 11:26

He needs to wear different shoes on a cycle and treat them after use.

If he is not treating his shoes then he can change socks all he wants and will do no good.

Chewbecca · 09/03/2019 11:27

Does he wear the same pair of boots daily?

If so, he needs two new pairs, to alternate and never wear the same pair on consecutive days again.

They don’t get time to ‘dry out’ overnight and once the rot sets in, you can’t shift it.

Tinty · 09/03/2019 11:27

Tell him he is correct and he may eventually have to have his feet amputated. Then tell him if it spreads to his groin he may have to have his penis amputated.

Then give him the telephone number for the GP Grin

FindPrimeLorca · 09/03/2019 11:32

Just from this thread there seem to be several different possible causes and remedies so really the GP is the only solution.

PiebaldHamster · 09/03/2019 11:33

Boot him out of the bedroom. If I were his boss I'd have had a word with him about it.

Make an appointment for him, and take him there if you have too.

You cannot force an adult of sound mind to go to a doctor, you do realise that, don't you? You cannot 'march someone to the GP' or in a lot of surgeries, even make appointments for them.

I would have kicked him out of the bedroom long ago. He's being a twat.

BrinkPink · 09/03/2019 11:33

It's possible to be embarrassed and still go to the GP. You can say "I've put this off as I've been embarrassed" when you walk in. Being embarrassed isn't the worst thing in the world is it. He needs to grow some balls and just go.

I'd be telling him he's not only stinking the place out and being gross, he's also risking his kids catching it and that is unacceptable. I'd actually ask him to live elsewhere until he can man up and get it treated. That might get through to him how selfish he's being.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 09/03/2019 11:34

I felt compelled to post having read your post OP where you said he mentioned that he didn't know what to buy to fix the issue. He doesn't need to know, the doctor or nurse practitioner will know. He's putting his head in the sand here and it's impacting on your lives.

Hope he sees sense soon!

WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit · 09/03/2019 11:35

Tell him you're more than happy to carry out the amputation yourself eith something suitably blunt if he doesn't get himself to the doctors asap.