AIBU to never go here again & tell everyone I know how awful it is?

[FrazzledCareerWoman]

New fancy "mums brasserie" type place has opened in the London suburb where I live. Think zone 3, up and coming area. Lots of yummy mummies, baby classes, mums fitness, etc around. People have money to spend.

So they open this place that is marketed as a wellness and foodie experience where you can have lunch and spa treatments while they watch your little darlings. Sounds amazing, non?

They also will have classes for the kids that are put on by external providers, and a soft play area.

Okay, fine. Me and NCT friend decide to go and check it out just for lunch.

Well, I think I'm still in shock. No alcohol at all firstly - I tried to order a glass of Prosecco and they were like "what's that"? So clearly missing a trick there 🤷🏻‍♀️

Secondly, waiting staff obviously had never worked in so much as a greasy spoon previously as they were faffing around doing very little, extremely inattentive and managed to take an hour to bring our starters and a further 30 mins for our next courses. To be fair they claimed this was due to a power cut (which lasted about 5 mins after we had already been waiting for an hour).

Thirdly, it was eye wateringly expensive. Their sushi chef hadn't started yet and so they was barely anything on the menu that was available.

Our bill was £43, no alcohol, 1 tea, 1 latte, 1 dip with crudités, 1 broccoli soup, 1 stale foccacia slice, 1 eggs Benedict with cold sauce , 1 basic salad.

I waited an hour for a “Japanese style avocado salad” that was cucumber tomato and iceberg lettuce. The bread with my soup was stale.

So you would think we were offered our meal for free after all that wouldn't you? Well not only am I ashamed to say I didn't blink and paid the full £43 when asked but the owner had the audacity to offer us "a free dish next time you come".

I feel like they are totally ruining something that could have been great! And they are clearly mental and have done zero research. Membership is around £500 a year.

Just speechless.

Hee here! Well the lack of a decent glass of chilled fine wine is an absolute outrage! On the basis of that, and that alone I would never step foot 🦶 in there again!

If I was feeling charitable I would email the owner and tell them to rectify this anomaly immediately with a long list of rotating seasonal suggestions 😂

£43 aint that bad and I live in Yorkshire! In Rotherham no less 🤦‍♀️

I started rolling my eyes at "wellness experience" tbh. You'd have a better wellness experience taking the DC to Spoons, with an iPad

@Thatsnotmyotter

So so wanky. And I love a bit of wankiness. I also don’t think it sounds expensive. I also wince when women (because it’s always women) demand Prosecco like it makes them classy. It doesn’t FYI

Well it sounds like they’re trying. The menu sounds a bit hit and miss though - sushi or eggs benedict? They’d be better off with brunchy-type açai bowls, super-grain salads, turmeric lattes and all that. They should let dogs in and only offer champagne after about 11.30. I mean it’s fine if the kids actually want to do the activities, but if they’re going to whinge and be clingy, what’s the point? Mine are all too old for this anyway. Have you been to the Cat Cafe OP, near Brick Lane?

Sounds amazing, non?

I appreciate that this may have been meant tongue-in-cheek, but I think it's this bit of metropolitan archness that has made a significant number of the people on the thread want to batter you to death with a stale foccaccia.

For what it's worth, I had my son in north London, but avoided the ghastly Gail's in Crouch End and the like for a series of astonishingly cheap Turkish old men cafes on Green Lanes, which would ply you with baklava and borek for half nothing.

I'd have turned round when I saw the prices on the menu.

No sushi? The horror!

This is a wind up, isn't it?

God some people on here are such whingers.

And I don’t mean the OP.

I really think I know where this is - Was actually thinking of trying it on the weekend but think I will at least wait til they "settle in"!!

Oh do feck orf user

I'd have turned round when I saw the prices on the menu.

I'd have turned round when I saw the menu - broccoli soup, eggs benedict, sushi, no wine . . . boak.

But that's what happens when you live it London
Er... no. Behaviour[s] described here ha[s/ve] feck-all to do with living in London.

Dear god “gentrification” is ruining this City. It’s unnatural. Drowning in a sea of Notions even the Thames Barrier couldn’t deal with.

Even allowing for the place sounding a bit ridiculous concept-wise, you wanting to run down a new business for having teething troubles is cruel; particularly as you apparently didn’t make any effort to raise your issues with them at the time.

You made me chuckle OP!

I find the wanky London pretentiousness hilarious. My DD and her DP live Peckham/Dulwich way. I love visiting them. Eating out is like going to the zoo and seeing exotic creatures with their strange ritualistic behaviours.

I am a no nonsense Scottish woman. Nuff said!

I'd expect a restaurant to serve alcohol and fresh food tbh. First world problems or not, that doesn't seem an unreasonable request.

As soon as I hear/see the word “wellness” I know wankiness will follow. It’s also the code word for all the pyramid schemes to flog their snake oil and evidence free cures to vulnerable people/people with too much money and free time.

It sounds shit. I'd write an email and send it to the manager/owner, rather than tell people about it or do a public review.

You should have read the menu first.

I'm sure starting a new cafe is hard, but I'm amazed by how many people do it shockingly badly.

We had one open in a similar area (different city) that I used to live in. Despite being full of moneyed SAHMs, there was no local cafe until then so everyone was desperate to try it.

They had put in bright eyeball-jangling strip lighting and uncomfortable seats. Three staff took so long to make a pot of tea, I could have gone for wander round the park. Then they brought it with no milk. They faffed around for ages getting a jug of milk. Then I had to ask for a teaspoon. And so on. They really looked like they had never encountered tea, spoons or cups in their entire lives.

Surely people must make a business plan and think about how they're going to do things? How can people who've decided to run a cafe be worse at cobbling food and drinks together than the average person?

Apart from the long wait, I am not sure what you are complaining about.
They did acknowledged and apologise if they offered you a free dish for next time.

They might be over-priced, that will soon become obvious if they don't get any clients. Other people might be happy to pay.

They don't offer alcohol, well, they will soon see if that is a selling idea or not.

You are trying to hard to be funny, posh and down to earth at the same time, it's not really working.

The food sounds a bit rubbish and the service was far too slow, but as pp have said it could just be teething troubles.
I really can't see the problem with no alcohol. Surely if you want a drink you go to the pub or a mainstream restaurant. If it's a "wellness" kind of place with lots of fitness classes I wouldn't really expect alcohol.

It sounds shite.

You and people like you are all that's wrong with London .

Zone 3 you say ? Zone 3 where once , some people, would look down their noses at or avoid .
Enjoy your up and coming destroyed community OP , I am sure the original locals had to move out as gentrification pushes up prices and pushes them out.

You are trying to hard to be funny, posh and down to earth at the same time, it's not really working.

Harsh. And I do know what OP means about London. I lived there many years ago, when I go there now I always seem to end up spending vast amounts of money on something basic to eat served by Mr Man Bun.