AIBU to never go here again & tell everyone I know how awful it is?

[FrazzledCareerWoman]

New fancy "mums brasserie" type place has opened in the London suburb where I live. Think zone 3, up and coming area. Lots of yummy mummies, baby classes, mums fitness, etc around. People have money to spend.

So they open this place that is marketed as a wellness and foodie experience where you can have lunch and spa treatments while they watch your little darlings. Sounds amazing, non?

They also will have classes for the kids that are put on by external providers, and a soft play area.

Okay, fine. Me and NCT friend decide to go and check it out just for lunch.

Well, I think I'm still in shock. No alcohol at all firstly - I tried to order a glass of Prosecco and they were like "what's that"? So clearly missing a trick there 🤷🏻‍♀️

Secondly, waiting staff obviously had never worked in so much as a greasy spoon previously as they were faffing around doing very little, extremely inattentive and managed to take an hour to bring our starters and a further 30 mins for our next courses. To be fair they claimed this was due to a power cut (which lasted about 5 mins after we had already been waiting for an hour).

Thirdly, it was eye wateringly expensive. Their sushi chef hadn't started yet and so they was barely anything on the menu that was available.

Our bill was £43, no alcohol, 1 tea, 1 latte, 1 dip with crudités, 1 broccoli soup, 1 stale foccacia slice, 1 eggs Benedict with cold sauce , 1 basic salad.

I waited an hour for a “Japanese style avocado salad” that was cucumber tomato and iceberg lettuce. The bread with my soup was stale.

So you would think we were offered our meal for free after all that wouldn't you? Well not only am I ashamed to say I didn't blink and paid the full £43 when asked but the owner had the audacity to offer us "a free dish next time you come".

I feel like they are totally ruining something that could have been great! And they are clearly mental and have done zero research. Membership is around £500 a year.

Just speechless.

In fact my assumption was likely similar to most other posters in that I expected a white middle class hipster to be the culprit

Quite. Who the hell has time to stalk the owners.

I imagined her as a whip thin blonde in Karen Millen.

In fact my assumption was likely similar to most other posters in that I expected a white middle class hipster to be the culprit

Yup. 100%.

I assumed it was a woman with more money than sense who couldn’t quite afford the rent somewhere else (nothing against tooting but I just don’t think it’s as pretentious as the web content surely?) and couldn’t afford to set up a bit more professionally. Hadn’t turned my thoughts to race. Not sure why I would have??

Tatiana - you are spot on re bejam/pooter conjunction. My head was swerving all over the place reading the last.

I’ve said it before - we have perhaps saved this business and given them more feedback and business enhancing ideas than they could ever have bought in !!

Nice try, Bejam, but I had to check the map to see where Tooting is. I've no idea who lives there.

I thought the not-really-a-brasserie's owner was a woman who'd given up work when she had her kids and was now being supported by a wealthy husband. It has to be self-funded because I can't see a bank lending money for such a half-assed affair.

Noone carries cash in London

Speak for yourself

Thank You @Frazzled

That was exactly my impression, too, Library, all the more so for the flowery fluff about visions and dreams.

I love this thread. It really does have it all.

Ooh, hang on, could we shoe-horn in some trans-angst, too?

Careful pink that may just tip us all over the edge. Also haven’t see the poster who went off to the park with SQUASH so not sure if I am allowed some champagne and I would definitely want some if we are going there or tooting

Also loved the midlands troll who told me I have a Prosecco habit. In fact, I drink even less now than I did when I was pregnant

Oh, that one was especially funny, Frazzled. But please, do consider moving to actual champers. Prosecco is far too sweet. Lidl has a superb champagne. They've also got an amazing gin for us hardened drinkers who live in alleys.

Well the thing is, I do like champagne , but only Ruinart

@Childsplay, you've taken a horrible hammering here and this is just to wish you all the very best with your new venture. It comes across as a really good idea and in time you'll surely find your feet.

Op - like your style.

@BejamNostalgia you're being ridiculous and offensive. No-one is being racist - any criticism on here has been based on what either the OP or the venue themselves have said. Please don't try and stir up trouble for no reason.

I’ve said it before - we have perhaps saved this business and given them more feedback and business enhancing ideas than they could ever have bought in well, they've certainly had enough mentions and some very constructive advice, a lot if it by professionals.

Not sure why everyone’s getting their knickers in a twist... this sounds like a shite version of David Lloyd’s (but a hell of a lot cheaper).

They didn't serve the food on roof-slates did they?

Just a quick rip for a great thread. Eye opening. Some flourishes of contratemps. Some real laughs and a lot of great advice for the business. Will miss this one.

Reading through the menu does anyone fancy turkey rashes on their lunch??

What I really want to know though is what is smartplay?

Think zone 3, up and coming area.

(nothing against tooting but I just don’t think it’s as pretentious as the web content surely?)

London is sooooo up it's own arse.

YAB a bit cruel to start a mumsnet thread about a new place with its target audience. I have been waiting staff in a new restaurant and it’s properly tough. Maybe the owner is a mum herself, who had a (good - imo) idea she is just trying to realise.

Plus, it is in SW London, it’s going to be expensive. Just don’t go again if you don’t like it. As a pp says, someone else could love it. It could be a lifeline for others. They are less likely to start a mumsnet thread. But your thread will be here forever.

FUCK RIGHT OFF GEFF YOU SPECY WANCKY ABSOLUTE UTTERCUNT.

So sorry I'm in the Anger Stage.

So so so sorry. Wrong thread. Apologies.

I’d appreciate a link to the thread that was supposed to be for.