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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel rage at husband saying ‘that’s a lot of calories’

101 replies

ShardsOfIce · 08/03/2019 12:18

Husband asked if I wanted lunch picking up. Yes thanks, I’ll have a sandwich and some crisps and a drink!

He replies with - that’s a lot of calories, sure you just don’t want the sandwich and drink?

Even if I wasn’t 37 weeks pregnant, this would irritate me! As it stands, I am incandescent with fiery pregnancy rage!!! Especially as I have been worried that my weight gain hasn’t been so great (had scans for small bump, 9kg so far), even if I was a huge pregnant whale, I don’t think this would even be appropriate. He’s all sorry now of course.

Grrrrrr so ragey! So ragey I joined mumsnet to post this. This rant helps. Can you help too? Rage! Rage! Angry

OP posts:
LittlePaintBox · 08/03/2019 13:16

What a cheek! I hate 'helpful' comments like this about what I'm eating, if my DH started doing it he'd be told not to, very clearly!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/03/2019 13:16

Blimey calm down. It’s not a lot of calories though so I’m bewildered why you’re so angry.

PurplePattern · 08/03/2019 13:16

What an asshole. If DH said that to me, I'd eat him aswell
Greywalls12 Grin

This^^ absolutely
OP rage away!

Frecklesonmyarm · 08/03/2019 13:18

Yanbu.....unless you have been moaning about any weight you have put on during pregnancy. I can see why he might have thought he was gentley trying to point it out.

MissBridgetJones · 08/03/2019 13:20

Eat him x

ReanimatedSGB · 08/03/2019 13:21

Maybe a chat later would be a good idea. About how what you eat is up to you, not him, and that women are not under a moral obligation to prioritize being thin to please men.
But also, it would do you good to try to lose your own habit of worryng about calories and talking about food being good or bad purely in terms of whether it might make you gain weight. Because twatting on about calories and chocolate or other treats being 'naughty' kind of gives men permission to offer their unwanted opinion on your lunch.

PiebaldHamster · 08/03/2019 13:22

It's never helpful to make comments about what someone is eating unless they're about to ingest poison. Time to make that very clear to him. Ignore the food bores.

Jsmith99 · 08/03/2019 13:24

He has a point. A sandwich loaded with cheese, meat, mayo etc plus a bag of crisps plus a large full-sugar drink can be pushing 1000 calories, which is a lot of calories for lunch.

PiebaldHamster · 08/03/2019 13:24

Battered fish and chips ....have to be bad sometimes !

There is NO such thing as 'bad' food unless it's off or poisonous.

thecatsthecats · 08/03/2019 13:26

I just had fish and veggies for lunch. I don't advise it! Miserable lunch, but I'm hoping to crack the 17st barrier at next weigh in.

Jackshouse · 08/03/2019 13:27

Well you need an extra 200 calories a day and one packet of crisps will nearly help you fufill that.

Fuck dick. Is he still alive?

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/03/2019 13:27

Tell him what you eat is up to you unless he wants a knuckle sandwich. Wink

thecatsthecats · 08/03/2019 13:28

Jsmith - what uptopia do you live in where supermarket fillings are that generous?

burritofan · 08/03/2019 13:30

Where does the OP say she asked for a "loaded" sandwich and a "large, full-sugar" drink or an assessment of her calorie choices?

StarlightIntheNight · 08/03/2019 13:30

Some men can be so annoying. My husband always comments on my food and if I eat junk. I am tall and slim. He gave me a lot of crap as well when I had pregnancy weight that SLOWLY came off (it took a year, as in my family, the women are slim, but gain 50 pounds plus of pregnancy weight each time!). It always comes off. I am as slim as I was in high school...and yet my husband likes to comment on food I eat and how unhealthy or like "wow! thats a lot of food!"

CaseofEllen · 08/03/2019 13:31

I'd feel the rage too OP! Never appropriate to 'diet police' anyone, unless like other posters have said, they've explicitly asked for help! I'm 38+1 and had a wrap, sausage roll, packet of crisps and a slice of cake for lunch 😂 and DP brought it all through so I didn't have to leave the sofa!

Anothertempusername · 08/03/2019 13:31

OP I am 36 weeks pregnant and just had a sandwich, crisps, juice, 6 biscuits and an apple.

I'd tell him to fuck off, tbh. Smile

Gina2012 · 08/03/2019 13:32

He thinks it is helpful.

I'd shove his fucking useless helpfulness up his arse

Gina2012 · 08/03/2019 13:34

I am as slim as I was in high school...and yet my husband likes to comment on food I eat and how unhealthy or like "wow! thats a lot of food!"

How does ANYONE live with this utter utter bullshit?

It verges on bullying imo

Some men are vile

PinkHeart5914 · 08/03/2019 13:38

Its 1 meal I think unless op has stuffed herself of sugar and salt all pregnancy with a truly awful diet her baby will be just fine. So him saying about the salt content would of peed me off just as much to be honest.

Yes veg and fish is better than a sandwich and crisps. You know you can eat both though? I mean sometimes I eat a chicken breast and veg for lunch others I have a sandwich or a bowl of pasta. I’m not 20 stone or dead of obesity yet 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP I’d just tell him your an adult and don’t appreciate comments on what you eat...

Mmmhmmokdear · 08/03/2019 13:39

If he thinks it's "too many calories" then surely you should be forgoing or swapping the sandwich rather than the crisps! Case of engage brain maybe Mr Shards?!

Plus you're growing a human, ergo you can have all the calories you bloody well want.

DarlingNikita · 08/03/2019 13:39

YANBU. Is he a perfectly honed physical specimen? If not, he can shove his calories up his arse.

In fact, even if he IS a perfectly honed physical specimen he can shove them.

he have form for commenting on what I eat when it comes to chocolate/crisps/junk. He thinks it is helpful.
You have to let him know he needs to shut up about this.

icannotremember · 08/03/2019 13:40

Christ alive, DH would not have dared question my food choices when I was pregnant. I remember waking him at 3am when I was heavily pregnant with ds1 and crying because I really wanted an orange ice lolly and we had none left, and he got up and went to the 24 hour garage to get me some- totally out of character for him!

Missingstreetlife · 08/03/2019 13:49

Don't forget double thick ice cream milk shake.

CharlyAngelic · 08/03/2019 13:53

@PiebaldHamster
It was just a comment. Someone asked upthread , who eats fish and veg...it was in answer to that. I do eat fish and veg . I also eat lots of other things . Apologies to anyone who was offended by my word " bad "
Some food can be very BAD , indeed , fatal , for people sometimes especially if they have a severe allergy ie peanuts , sesame , fish .

Hope you are fine OP ...and that your "rage" has gone .