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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel rage at husband saying ‘that’s a lot of calories’

101 replies

ShardsOfIce · 08/03/2019 12:18

Husband asked if I wanted lunch picking up. Yes thanks, I’ll have a sandwich and some crisps and a drink!

He replies with - that’s a lot of calories, sure you just don’t want the sandwich and drink?

Even if I wasn’t 37 weeks pregnant, this would irritate me! As it stands, I am incandescent with fiery pregnancy rage!!! Especially as I have been worried that my weight gain hasn’t been so great (had scans for small bump, 9kg so far), even if I was a huge pregnant whale, I don’t think this would even be appropriate. He’s all sorry now of course.

Grrrrrr so ragey! So ragey I joined mumsnet to post this. This rant helps. Can you help too? Rage! Rage! Angry

OP posts:
Deadringer · 08/03/2019 12:42

Yes I think you should tell him that you have added up the calories and it's not nearly enough, therefore he can pick up a bar of chocolate too.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 08/03/2019 12:44

Don't mind Xenia. She loves to drop in goady posts to get everyone excited. It's a sport to her.

flumpybear · 08/03/2019 12:45

Tell him you will eat his lunch too if he doesn't shut his pie hole ..... yyyyyuuuummmm pie 🥧 😉

Puddington · 08/03/2019 12:47

I'd have said, all that salt can't be doing you or the baby much good because it probably isn't but calories!!! NO.

I think honstly in OP's situation commenting on the salt would have annoyed me as much as the calories...

fblake · 08/03/2019 12:48

Eugh, that would have annoyed me!! I ate half a tub of ice cream yesterday, I wonder what he would have said to that 😆

burritofan · 08/03/2019 12:50

I'm 35 weeks and this thread has made me want TWO sandwiches and a family bag of crisps. And a drink and a chocolate bar. (And not a giant random piece of fish, WTF?) What sandwich are you getting, OP? I want a Pret chicken caesar baguette and Pickled Onion Monster Munch.

My rule of thumb, whether knocked up or not, is no one should be commenting on anyone else's calorie or nutrional intake unless expressly asked. It's one of the reasons I prefer self-employment to office work: none of the nosy bastard "Ooh, are you being good?", "Ooh, nice naughty lunch" commentary.

ASmallMovie · 08/03/2019 12:50

Anyone who polices a woman's appetite, never mind a pregnant woman's appetite - be it the OP's DH or posters like Xenia - should look within. Internalised misogyny usually has something to do with it.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 08/03/2019 12:52

If you've eaten 2 fry ups and pancakes with ice cream for breakfast then moaned about weight ain and asked for his help planning healthy meals going forward then YABU

In all other circumstances he is being a twat

Topseyt · 08/03/2019 12:56

I am with the camp saying tell him that you now want chocolate and cream cake along with the sandwich.

Oh, and stop allowing him to think that he can comment on your food choices, pregnant or not. It is controlling, rude and judgemental.

JustDanceAddict · 08/03/2019 12:57

I miss eating what I wanted when pregnant and youngest dc is 15!! And If dh has commented he could’ve fucked right off and eaten fish and vegetables for eternity (fish made me heave when pregnant so that would have been a non-starter).
Hope you enjoy your sandwich and crisps. If I was hanging the calories it’d be a ploughman’s followed by quavers!!

midsomermurderess · 08/03/2019 12:58

It's not a helpfult hing to say, says Xenia, while then going to suggest what OP should eat instead.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 08/03/2019 12:59

It’s good for him to get out of the habit of commenting on your food choices. While you may be able to cope your children may find it harder.

FrozenMargarita17 · 08/03/2019 13:00

Xenia sounds fun Grin

gamerchick · 08/03/2019 13:01

Don't mind Xenia. She loves to drop in goady posts to get everyone excited. It's a sport to her

Well it was pretty obvious! Who the fuck has veg with fish? Chips and plenty of batter, it's the law.

MrsTerryPratcett · 08/03/2019 13:02

It’s good for him to get out of the habit of commenting on your food choices.

I find that men that police women's food choices need to take a long hard look at themselves. Because there's a lot of sexist crap in there about women's bodies and also their right to make decisions for themselves.

AcrossthePond55 · 08/03/2019 13:04

I made my DH make me deep fried onion rings when I was pregnant. At 2 am. A plateful and I didn't share.

There's no such thing as the 'diet police' unless the person asks for help in moderating. So fuck him and those on this thread criticizing someone's choices, especially when pregnant.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 08/03/2019 13:04

If I was the sort of person who always goes on about calories and things having a lot of calories in, then I wouldn't be surprised if DH and other people around me made that kind of comment.
I know a lot of people like that, and it does suprise me when they suddenly have something which is not normal (for them).
No idea whether you are like this or not OP.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 08/03/2019 13:04

I want a sandwich and a packet of crisps now too. (Egg mayonnaise) and some roast chicken crisps. And a kitkat and a Diet Coke.
Enjoy your lunch op.

Birdsgottafly · 08/03/2019 13:05

My cravings were crisps, with two of my pregnancies, but it was the 80's and this bullshit wasn't around.

Treaclesweet · 08/03/2019 13:06

Ah Xenia, you are doing the Lenten fast I assume?

Seriously op I would be quite worried about this- why is he so interested in your calorie intake? Is he shallow? Or just controling?

Slowknitter · 08/03/2019 13:06

Ask him why he thinks he is in charge of what you eat. Then maybe pick an aspect of his life that you can patronisingly and irritatingly start correcting for him on a regular basis. His clothes maybe, or the way he speaks. What an annoying arse.

nonetcurtains · 08/03/2019 13:08

You might be better off with a huge piece of fish and veg
yes, swap your judgy husband for the above.

Stormwhale · 08/03/2019 13:10

Wow, he is brave isn't he. I'm 27 weeks pregnant and my husband wouldn't dream of commenting on what I'm eating. I'm perfectly capable of regulating my own intake thank you very much!

CharlyAngelic · 08/03/2019 13:11

I have veg and fish BUT not tonight .
Battered fish and chips ....have to be bad sometimes !

FreezerBird · 08/03/2019 13:14

"That's a lot of calories."

"I AM GROWING A HUMAN!"

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