FIL, his wife and that side of DPs family have form for springing unnecessarily long dragged out, last minute weekend plans on DP and guilting him into attending. For context DP works 7-7 with a two hour commute five days a week. He only briefly gets to see DD in the morning before he goes to work (he gets home after she goes to bed) and wakes up early just so he can spend time with her before work (and let me get ready for work in peace). He wants his weekends free to spend with me and DD. It's his grandparents wedding anniversary on Sunday, not a significant wedding anniversary but they want to celebrate it with the family. They've invited that entire side of the family round to theirs for coffee and cake. They're now saying they want DP round at 12 and they'll be done around 5. DPs family are odd in that if someone leaves early from these last minute weekend plans, they're gossiped and muttered about at other family events. Bearing in mind they see each other most weekends so it's not like they've got a lot to catch up on. Me and DD were invited but DD naps 12-2. I've suggested coming round later with DD, but DP has pointed out it won't be fair on DD (who is 18 months) to have to sit in a cramped living room for three hours with extended family she isn't hugely familiar with. Whilst I agree, I'd rather me and DD be there so at least we get to spend some time together, and that side of the family get to see DD (and we can use DD as a convenient escape route). Me and DP are perfectly happy for him to go round for a couple of hours for some cake but five hours? DP constantly feels guilty as we live in the same town, he feels he should see them as often as they ask (which is most weekends, bearing in mind he goes round to FILs one night a week for dinner) and he doesn't want to rock the boat. His FIL has also tried to push for DP to go to a football match on Mother's Day which after much persistence, FIL finally took no for an answer. I've got three options, wait for DD to wake up from her nap, go round and suck it up with a grumpy toddler for DPs sanity. Not go and not see DP most of Sunday and put up with a grumpy DP all evening. Or tell DP to rock the boat and insist that he leave earlier.