Aibu to think a father should know

[GilmoreMe]

How to get his own child ready for school?

DH has recently changed jobs so he is at home later in the mornings and is able to do the school run. I have taken some earlier shifts at work because of this change in circumstances.
DD is four.
The night before an early shift I have to lay out all uniform because he doesn't know where it is kept ( been in the same place since she started school and he has been shown), pack her lunch and make drinks because he doesn't know what she likes or what she is allowed to take, pack bags and make sure she has everything she needs - not a lot, just reading book and log and spellings book and pe kit twice a week- because he doesn't know what she needs on what days (there is a timetable on the fridge).
Is he absolutely ridiculous? Should he know these things or at least be able to learn these things. I mean I had to work it out!
I had agreed to an early shift today but had to rearrange because he said he simply couldn't get her ready for world book day
I think I need to let him get on with it but at the same time feel bad that dd will not have what she needs at school and will turn up looking a mess or not in appropriate uniform. (Unbeknown to me, he had our neighbour do her hair a couple of times because he couldn't brush it or put it in a ponytail)

If your DH can hold down a decent job , he can read emails and get your child to school with her school stuff and an appropriate lunch.

It's not OK that a child is placed in the position of organising her parent or doing what is necessary in the knowledge that if she doesn't do it it won't be done.

So he needs to get his act together.

The idea that because he manages to hold down a job he can take care of details at home should be true, but sometimes holding down a job involves a lot of bluster and fakery and displays of superiority, with some secretary of PA or assistant doing virtually all the spadework. Some people who hold down jobs actually look down their noses at actual work. Then there are those who use performance at a position in paid employment as an ego booster, with a salary reinforcing their fine idea of themselves. By contrast, virtually invisible and unpaid domestic work offers nothing for the ego.

Just don’t do it? What’s he gunna do let her go hungry and in trackies? Surely he’s not that stupid

School will be having something to say about it if he doesn't get his act together,let them.

Yes, the school may express concern and the OP will quite likely get the blame and/or feel guilty and go back to doing it all. That's how 'helpless' behaviour works, unfortunately!

“Express concern”. What about? That her hair isn’t very tidy or she’s forgotten her book bag? Don’t be silly. Just make him get on with it. He’s a grown up. He can do it.

Exactly, if there are real issues the school will note and act.

However, there is so much that goes well under any radar to act on, despite DC suffering.

Changes in a 4 yo child's appearance, not having the right stuff for school, unsuitable lunch 3 days a week - yes the teacher would notice. I'm not arguing this guy can't do it. Obviously he can. He doesn't seem to want to.

Yep. Scruffy pony tail for a couple of days- instant social services referral Don’t be daft. He can do it.

Getting a neighbour to do it is ridiculous!! This man is being enabled to be as useless as he likes...only you can choose to say enough is enough and get him to actually be an adult and parent. He is as capable as anyone else to do the school routine, it’s not rocket science. Tell him to sort things night before, get up earlier, get his brain in to gear and grow up.