To have hoped my disciples would have saved me before now?!

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am alive!

I've been on a dark and dangerous journey. I've seen things i hoped never to see again.

A strange woman called Pauline made me hoover and remove my slanket.

She said I had to go on a diet, put heated rollers in my hair and look for a 3rd husband. Why?

Why didn't you save me from Pauline - messenger of MN.

If you're pulling out the custard creams, I'll get the vacuum, be warned.

Thank you getting I was feeling a little concerned about maintaining my full stock of snacks and quality slankets plus netflix subscription when I so imprudently applied for that second job. Then I realised I would be affecting my chosen work/life balance of the magic 80:20 eg 80% of time in Thighland napping and eating snax and 20% humouring managers and not poisoning small children (which is very important apparently). So I was regretting my application when my 'husband' piped up about the dog and dinner situation. Obviously I am happy to provide company and walkies to the dog but I don't want to be stuck cooking other people's 'dinner' I am working on reverse improvement in that area. Should I start lowering my standards around the not-poisoning at home?

Troels Allow me to explain. We are a No Movement Movement. A group of guerilla non-fighting Women Who Won't.

Our rules are simple:

Lie down
No guests
Nobody is too fat or too thin
Nobody gets told off

Please come and say hello to us at www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3527145-Thigh-Where-is-thigh?pg=6&order=

Do not bring your hoover. YABU

Troels STOP just lie down! That kind of talk is very unthigh and therefore bad for your soul unlike Monster Munch and napping.

You need help! Get yourself over to Thighland for reprogramming. You won't regret it. You know it makes sense. You need to rest.

Do you own a slanket?

Penguin as far as I'm aware nobody has ever been poisoned by Monster Munch. Carry on giving packs of Monster Munch for dinner. Tell them all to open their own.

SmallPenguin I completely agree with dear Getting .

In just serve up the M Munch in a large mixing bowl in the unopened packets. Place it on the floor by the family member and state 'Here's your dinner!' In a not-to-be-messed-with voice. People can see to themselves and a new standard is set.

Getting and Dangly I've just decided in Thighland that we'll be devoting Friday to sorting out Project's shit life as a manager. She needs encouragement to pursue the bearded go go dancing.

I'd like a peaceful Friday after being kidnapped yesterday.

Danga why should Penguin go to all the effort of finding a large mixing bowl when the floor makes a perfectly good receptacle?

thigh never fear we will have *Project's career sorted by the end of Friday.

I shall send her over a pint of wine with a vodka side to help her think!

Getting you are correct! I'm just too diligent for my own inner thigh sometimes (but not often!)

Right I just throw some unopened packets of crisps on the floor and that is Dinner sorted.

Small Yes you got it! Don't forget to growl 'Here's your dinner!' In the manner of someone unhinged about to lose their shit if challenged.

They will be grateful.

Omg Getting a willy willy is even better than a willy.

Where have they been all my life?

But would they stick on?

Oops that was for th'other th'thread in Thighland.

Danga Are you flashing my willy willies all over MN?! YABU

Sorry Getting I accept I WBU.

OOOH I hate this place!

Dangly come to chat, this is not our twin centre Thawaii. You have been injured, here hold on to my forehead willy willy. I will guide you.

< grips thigh's willy for dear life >

Righto, I'm lying on the couch, I've been here most of the day. My fitbit keeps buzzing and trying to get me to move. I'm down three cups of tea, a glass of squash, two meringue nests and a pack of chocolate rice cakes and 2 macaroons. I think I might be sick. Dh will have to fetch the bucket.

It's ok Troels you can use the floor as a vomitorium and then you'll be able to eat some more snax.

This is a period of adjustment.

chat re Schrodingers willy willy n

What sum oh Thiety?

Try that again:
We've got a sum for you to do in chat re Schrodingers willy willy not.

What thsum your legishness?

naked it is here you are needed for the sum:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3527145-Thigh-Where-is-thigh?pg=7

Although i've forgotten what for because I have had a pint of wine and I feel you may have had one too!

Come back to Thighland , we are in hostile waters here.

Naked come to chat! We need you to do some sums to see if we are in danger.

There's the conundrum of Schrodinger's willy willy not. We think he's fighting back at us for taking the piss out of him for popping a cat in a box and giving it large.

We think his revenge was to send an MN stooge called Pauline-Bot who possibly pretended to kill her possibly pretend small willied husband Mike.

We can only solve this with your maths skillz. Now do you understand?

Pauline-Bot we're coming for you.

You murdering Bot, we have a bus and we're not afraid to use it.

We have demi waves and battered sausages.