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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked if I am pregnant, I'm not, just have a big belly...

60 replies

bigbelly123 · 07/03/2019 18:53

Hi everyone. Feeling pretty lousy this morning.

I have always had what I would describe as a 'pot' belly. As a 16/17 year old, size 8 I would be asked if I was pregnant by strangers on the street.

I am now 24. I have had a little one 3 years ago. I am currently 10st (5'6 so middle of my BMI). After having my baby 3 years ago I was 10st 11lb, I went down to 9st 4lb. I was happiest at this weight and my belly, whilst still 'pot' wasn't half as bad. It is nigh impossible for me to maintain this weight though, I would have to eat super healthy 100% of the time, only drink water. Just not really realistic. 10 stone is my natural settle weight.

I am a size 10/12, and happy with my weight and body everywhere except my belly. I look slim everywhere else, but I have a big belly. Size 12 jeans cut into my stomach and give me a 'muffin' top, but if I buy a size 14 or larger then it is too big everywhere else.

Tonight one of my neighbours asked me if I am pregnant. I laughed it off and said no, just eating too much food, but I feel on the verge of tears. Yes I know they are a rude, but I know that it does appear that way. Going to start dieting tomorrow to try to get closer to 9 stone again. Considering looking up surgery but I don't even know if thats possible as this has been a problem even at 16, pre-baby.

Has anybody else had this issue, and what have you done about it?

OP posts:
Original poster
bigbelly123 · 07/03/2019 18:54

Should say evening, wrote this in a hurry whilst upset Sad

OP posts:
TwoRoundabouts · 07/03/2019 18:57

You are better of doing some exercise involving a mixture of cardio and strength/resistance training.

As you will feel better about yourself and your belly may get smaller. If it doesn't because you feel good about yourself you won't care.

Now you just need to find an activity you like doing 3-5 times per week...

Littlepond · 07/03/2019 18:59

I’ve always had a belly too. Three kids later it’s much worse, I’m trying to lose weight and I dress to flatter my shape. It sucks though, I’ve also been asked more than once if I’m pregnant when I’m not, it’s horrible.

EvaHarknessRose · 07/03/2019 19:00

Yeah, I remember sitting in the GPs at 16 with my boyfriend and he pointed at a picture of different stages of pregnancy and which one he thought I looked like. Bit rude, but kind of true, I’ve always had that kind of belly. It’s not something you need to try to change, OP, it’s how you are built, just like someone short or tall or with a big nose or ears that stick out. All of which are not features someone should be so thoughtless as to comment on.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 07/03/2019 19:01

My post baby belly is like that. It has made me more aware of how I dress, I'm a similar height and weight to you and I have skinny wrists and ankles so I tend to wear floatier tops now and skinny high waisted jeans. I got some good ones in h and m. They kind of suck everything in and is a bit hidden by my top anyway. And shows off my skinnier bits. Also swapped pencil type dresses for skater style (I have wide hips as well and this style is good for them). Losing weight does help but I've just got too much on at the moment to find the energy for willpower!

Some people are so bloody rude, I wouldn't ask if someone was pregnant even if they obviously were, because it's none of my business anyway!

cunningartificer · 07/03/2019 19:01

Ah! Don’t worry.. yes rude neighbor, but probably thinks that your 3yr old means it’s a likely baby gap so is expecting you to have another soonish!

My beautiful size 8 v slim daughter was asked by her reception students if she was having a baby—they thought, I expect, she was female, and not much past that... but it upset her...

What I’m trying to say is that by all means lose weight if it’s going to make you happier or healthier, but don’t do it because someone’s put their foot in their mouth Smile you sound perfectly lovely as you are.

Destinysdaughter · 07/03/2019 19:02

I used to get this a lot as am an apple shape. The main thing that helped me was to eat a low carb diet to reduce the bloating in my tummy.

I’ve had in the past, clients ask, when is it due? One time I was walking down the street and a homeless man said, you shouldn’t be smoking in your condition and the most bizarre one was once, on an overnight ferry back from France, me and a male friend were looking for the recliners on the ship. Asked a male member of staff who said, oh a woman in your condition shouldn’t be on a recliner and lead me to a private bed in the medical room! My French was not good enough to tell him I wasn’t actually pregnant...😀

Littleraindrop15 · 07/03/2019 19:04

High waisted jeans are your best friend. I would double check with gp to see if you have stomach gas ibs problems as that can cause excessive bloating x

RednaxelasPony · 07/03/2019 19:04

Don't bother dieting. It's the lack of muscle tone, and poor posture. Search the 7 minute work out by Lucy Wyndham-Read. It focuses on the tummy area and at only 7 mins a day there is really no reason not to. It worked for me and I'm still going with it almost every day!

Original poster
bigbelly123 · 07/03/2019 19:07

I have high waisted jeans but I am constantly hoiking them back up as they roll down constantly.

I look much nicer in dresses but not always practical. I feel upset because at 24 I should be able to get away with wearing most things, but I am constantly having to worry about this stomach issue and I feel like I can't shop in normal stores for my age like topshop, river island etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
bigbelly123 · 07/03/2019 19:12

Thanks for the tip r.e. 7 minute work out by Lucy Wyndham-Read. I have found it on Youtube and will start tomorrow morning before Yoga.

OP posts:
hankib · 07/03/2019 19:19

Are you Asian OP? I only ask because I have this (had had a pot belly through sizes 6-10 throughout my life and have been asked if I’m pregnant multiple timesBlush) and it’s a very common thing in Asians due to genetic factors and foods. Very depressing and I’ve not found anything to combat it other than high waisted skinny jeans and floaty tops like pp said and a combination of cardio/weight training to keep it at bay. I don’t have any DC but was considering some sort of surgery after I do although I don’t know if I could justify the cost to myself!

Original poster
bigbelly123 · 07/03/2019 19:24

No not asian but I have always had this issue. Even as a teenager I would get comments on the street! It has definitely been exacerbated by pregnancy though. I carry all of my weight on my belly. The rest of me is 'slim', arms and legs etc.I just have a 'pot' belly.

When I was doing slimming world and lost the weight it helped a lot. I think because it's a low sugar/low fat diet essentially. Might have to invest in some better skin jeans and floaty tops. I wish I could just dress like a normal 24 year old Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
bigbelly123 · 07/03/2019 19:25

I remember being undressed in front of baby's dad (before I LTB) and him gasping and commenting on how big it was.

OP posts:
roundligament · 07/03/2019 19:39

You haven't got that thing with the D with you were the stomach muscles have split?
You poor thing xxx

Her0utdoors · 07/03/2019 19:47

Could you afford some Pilates sessions OP? They made a huge difference to me. The best results for me was with a physiotherapist who is also a pilates instructor. So treatment as well as exercises.

hdh747 · 07/03/2019 19:51

I have a pot belly and I'm grey-haired and post-menopausal so look like a pregnant geriatric. Or a very old tellytubby. Neither of which is a great look.
I think it's about time we saw more women models with tummies, there's plenty of normal woman around who aren't fat but who do not have flat tums. Sorry no proper advice just Flowers

sleepalldays · 07/03/2019 19:52

That's so rude, even if I was 99% sure someone was pregnant i'd never ask them regardless of what their stomach looked like.

My stomach is super bloated today and I can't do my jeans up comfortably as my period is due in a few days- you'd probably look at me and think I was early pregnant tbh!

SaucyJack · 07/03/2019 19:57

Google some images of lordosis (duck arse) too, just to see if that might be a factor.

Sharptic · 07/03/2019 20:03

OP I feel for u. I've been asked if I'm pregnant when I'm not, but I'm genuinely chubby and ur not.

In my numerous attempts to lose the chub, I find diet will help reduce the bloating. Try reducing sugar, including fruit and carbs, it will help with bloating.

You sound slim so likely something in ur diet affecting digestion or disagreeing with you along with your natural shape, especially if you're apple shaped.

Siameasy · 07/03/2019 20:09

Hi I am an Apple shape too and it is genetic.
Thin legs and arms all my fat goes to my waist. Even when I’ve been about 2 st overweight people are shocked “but you’re so thin!” due to the limbs and me managing to disguise the stomach I appear skinny.
I hated it so I embarked upon the Keto diet and I follow the low carb bootcamp on here.
Stomach has reduced hugely and am so happy as am thick-waisted and now have a 30 waist down from 34🙈
At the gym I do weights and HIIT. I only go 3x a week. It is diet that will have the biggest impact on fat loss. And low carb seems to encourage fat loss from the stomach (yay)

Siameasy · 07/03/2019 20:11

And yes I’ve been thought to be pregnant previously
I think if you’ve got thin limbs like a typical apple they assume you are
If someone’s fat all over that wouldn’t be the case

Original poster
bigbelly123 · 07/03/2019 20:30

roundligament I have no idea as never been to the GP about this issue. I did have a 'pot' belly prior to becoming pregnant though, so perhaps not, albeit it has got worse since.

SaucyJack I do have a terrible posture, as does my sister. We both tend to stand naturally 'slouched' in the position you've described. Not sure if just bad posture or an actual issue.

I am going to start slimming world again. Low sugar/low fat. Not sure I could do low carb, though I am actively trying to avoid breaded products and sticking to natural sources of carbs like potato and rice.

OP posts:
Siameasy · 07/03/2019 20:57

Potatoes and rice are pure starch tho and were one of things that really bloated me out OP. They raise your blood sugar pretty high. Raised blood sugar causes raised insulin and insulin is the fat storage hormone.

whitehousemum · 07/03/2019 21:30

I had real problems with a pot belly until I was pregnant and got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. Since having my daughter I've made a bit effort to reduce sugar and white carbs to reduce my diabetes risk and it has gone right down. It's still there but is much more in line with the rest of me than it was.