Asked if I am pregnant, I'm not, just have a big belly...

[bigbelly123]

Hi everyone. Feeling pretty lousy this morning.

I have always had what I would describe as a 'pot' belly. As a 16/17 year old, size 8 I would be asked if I was pregnant by strangers on the street.

I am now 24. I have had a little one 3 years ago. I am currently 10st (5'6 so middle of my BMI). After having my baby 3 years ago I was 10st 11lb, I went down to 9st 4lb. I was happiest at this weight and my belly, whilst still 'pot' wasn't half as bad. It is nigh impossible for me to maintain this weight though, I would have to eat super healthy 100% of the time, only drink water. Just not really realistic. 10 stone is my natural settle weight.

I am a size 10/12, and happy with my weight and body everywhere except my belly. I look slim everywhere else, but I have a big belly. Size 12 jeans cut into my stomach and give me a 'muffin' top, but if I buy a size 14 or larger then it is too big everywhere else.

Tonight one of my neighbours asked me if I am pregnant. I laughed it off and said no, just eating too much food, but I feel on the verge of tears. Yes I know they are a rude, but I know that it does appear that way. Going to start dieting tomorrow to try to get closer to 9 stone again. Considering looking up surgery but I don't even know if thats possible as this has been a problem even at 16, pre-baby.

Has anybody else had this issue, and what have you done about it?

"...Tonight one of my neighbours asked me if I am pregnant. I laughed it off and said no, just eating too much food, but I feel on the verge of tears. Yes I know they are a rude, but I know that it does appear that way..."

OP, if you feel it preserves your dignity to laugh it off, then by all means do so, but you know you don't have to, right?

It is extremely rude to comment upon a woman's body or query her reproductive status without invitation.

Women can appear to have varyingly distended abdomens for all manner of reasons - GIT disorders or other medical issues, menstrual cycle stuff, being overweight, even just having a large meal or an unflattering outfit.

Some women may actually be pregnant, or have recently miscarried, and not only don't owe their fucking nosy neighbour information in either case, shouldn't have to suffer the awkwardness of refusing the pressure to give that private information.

Your neighbour and anyone else who makes these comments would have to have been living under a rock their entire life to not know that women don't like being queried about being pregnant or to be told they look pregnant when any one of those reasons is in play - that it's embarrassing and/or makes them feel awkward and self-conscious.

Therefore, anyone who makes such comments is either being thoughtlessly rude, or they are wilfully putting their curiosity above good manners and your comfort.

...In either case, you should not go out of your way to protect them from the consequences of their rudeness by hiding your reaction, unless it makes you feel better to do so.

Too often women are expected to laugh it off and hide their irritation, shock, anger or hurt when others make rude/intrusive/entitled/ demeaning/objectifying/insulting comments about their body, appearance or reproductive status.

...To just absorb the awkwardness internally in order to spare a rude, entitled or thoughtless person's feelings when they gave no weight whatsoever to hers.

Perhaps if those people experienced the cut or a verbal lashing more often in response to their rude, intrusive behaviour, they'd think twice about their perceived entitlement to comment upon women's bodies so freely.

(I wouldn't presume to comment upon this except that you brought it up with later posts):

Yes, your overall so-called 'apple' shape could absolutely be genetic. Patterns of fat deposition often are, and there is nothing wrong with that.

That said, there are a number of GIT, immunological, and other conditions that can result in abdominal distention: Coeliac, Crohn's, UC, Diverticulitis, various food intolerances, additive and preservative intolerances, vitamin and mineral deficiencies resulting from malabsorption resulting from any of the above or for genetic reasons. And that's just off the top of my head.

You should absolutely see a doctor about this, particularly given your 'IBS' symptoms and the fact that the distension varies significantly with diet.

Obviously you don't have to answer these questions here unless you want to, but some things to consider, and possibly begin to keep track of:

• Any tenderness when you apply pressure to any part of your abdomen? If so, where and when?

• Any aching or burning discomfort after you eat or drink? Always, or only with some foods/drinks/alcohol?

• Nausea? When?

• Constipation/diarrhoea?

• Gas/indigestion 'heartburn'? When?

• Have you had or do you have any ongoing skin conditions, e.g. psoriasis, eczema, or rashes/breakouts that seem to occur sporadically?

• Sinus conditions/hayfever?

• Do you feel sluggish?

• Strong cravings for specific foods (or non foods)

• Are there any foods or food groups that you can identify that appear to influence any of the above for better or for worse?

• Any family history of immunological, rheumatological or GIT conditions, skin conditions, food intolerances or allergies?

Hi OP,
If you are planning on starting a workout regime aimed at your abs, it is definitely worth checking for a diastasis recti first as the wrong sort of exercises can make it worse. I did this after DC1 and ended up having physio after DC3 to rectify it.

Get on google and do the home check.

Google diastasis recti, this is when your abs separate during pregnancy, and it means that you get a pot belly because your organs are not being held in by strong core muscles. I always had a flat stomach prior to having DD, but I had DR and it meant I had a bulging abdomen until I completed all the exercises from my physio. You must get professional advice though, as doing crunches/sit-ups can pull the muscles further apart.

I've also had a pot belly for longer than I can remember and it's literally impossible to shift.
In the past I've had a couple of very bad stomach bugs which in each case lasted several days and I couldn't eat a thing, even just a sip of water would send me running to the loo... each time I lost lots of weight off the rest of my body and looked visibly thinner yet my belly remained exactly the same size throughout.
I'm convinced I could actually starve to death and I'd still have a pot belly.

Have you checked for diastasis recti? If you have that (I did), the exercises needed are very different, eg Mutu System.

I have exactly this problem, almost every detail. I'm determined to lose the belly with sit ups. Have your abdominal muscles come back together?

Ce7813, where is that list from?

I have a flat belly in the morning, but sometimes I look 6 months gone by evening

I get hearburn easily, have had various allergies as a child. Foods that make my belly swell up are fresh bread (yeast? Toast is fine, as is pasta) raw peppers, raw onion, raw apple (these all make me gassy as hell, but cooked is fine)

I just know which foods to avoid mainly

Things like alcohol or greasy food like fish and chips also don't agree with me

I guess it keeps me healthy

But yeah, some evenings my belly is huge

I never wear tight clothes to allow room for "expansion" though mostly manage to avoid it

OP, I think it is quite normal

I would get a food intolerance test done. I used to look like I was pregnant, even when I was 13 years old, size 8. My mum would repeatedly ask me! I recently ordered a test from online and it turns out I'm highly intolerant to a few things, but the one thing I've noticed that made me bloat very quickly in the stomach area is wheat / gluten.

I have this problem. I'm a size 12-14 now but even when I was a size 8 people asked me if I was pregnant. It's so shitty!!