To never buy a house unless I've met the neighbours

[ChangedAgainForAChange]

Saw a house today that I really like and I'm viewing it again on Saturday. It's a little mews house, perfect for one person or a couple but terraced so neighbours on both sides.

I absolutely refuse to put in an offer unless I've met at least one of them. I'm hoping the estate agent fucks off straight after the viewing so I can start knocking on doors and very politely asking "what the area" is like. I just want to try and get a feel for what they are like.

Some people don't even think of the neighbours once they're within their own 4 walls but I'm absolutely petrified I will get shit ones. I've had it before and it ruins your whole life. I just mean blasting stereos or pitbulls and feral kids etc. I would love a Janet and Keith retired and doting grandparents. I would not love a drug addicted mother of 9 who's been on Jeremy Kyle for shagging her mum's boyfriend.

Surely they'd want to know who's moving in next door too? Or am I overthinking it? Yes I do suffer with anxiety...

callme I don’t need a sign for my door. I sleep heavily and at the front of the house so no cutting grass etc, and I am one of these people that can answer the door, sign my delivery and jump into bed and back to sleep (although I generally avoid ordering anything to the house if I know I’m nightshift).

Apart from the one time next doors gardener was using the worlds loudest tool to cut the hedge so I popped my head out and asked him how long he would be and he straight away said he would do other work and come back to it later. We had a chat and no fallout so I’m not a nasty neighbour by any stretch of the imagination.

But I wouldnt be impressed by a procession of viewers wanting to speak to me.

And I’m not particularly bothered what they think about me. The layout of my street means we only say hi in passing and rarely have to interact which suits me just fine and one of the reasons I moved there.

“If half the people replying had the option of moving into a semi next door to one with a flowery hanging basket and a birds house placed lovingly on a freshly moved front lawn or one with a burnt out mattress and three fuck off tyres dumped outside the front door they'd just toss a coin and let fate decide because who are we to judge hey?! Righto!”

So you’re saying that if you saw a neighbour with “burnt out mattress and three fuck off tyres dumped outside“ you would knock and ask how the street is like? . Because most people wouldn’t need to knock on the door to get the gist of the type of neighbours they’d have - ones who leave crap all over their front yard!

In all seriousness, it’s a stupid idea because most people will lie to you and give you some fluffy generic answer. Why would they tell you something that would cause their neighbour a house sale and then be stuck living next to a neighbour who’s pissed off with them?

Cost not cause

I'm not a massively social person but I'd quite happily give someone a few minutes of my time before they commit to what is probably the biggest purchase they'll ever make. Didn't realise it's such an inconvenience to people .

You’d probably love my neighbours op. Lovely couple with 3 teenage daughters. He is a heart surgeon and she is a nurse. In reality, they are a bloody nuisance. They have 3 dogs they can’t control, one of which they very often leave out all night barking and barking.

What if you move in and then the lovely neighbours move out a month later and you’re stuck with nightmare new neighbours?

Happened to me. Ended up leaving after six months.

Well, the neighbours you speak to could be great, but that doesn't stop them from selling on and buggering off, within the year.

It's not the next door neighbours who can make your life a misery. It's also ones down the street, across the road etc. Neighbours also change, quite frequently in some areas.

"I'm not a massively social person but I'd quite happily give someone a few minutes of my time before they commit to what is probably the biggest purchase they'll ever make. Didn't realise it's such an inconvenience to people ."

With bells on! Unhelpful tossers x

My neighbour actually came round and introduced herself the day I took possession of the keys. Very friendly, told of how she used to look out for the lady who lived here before, etc etc.

In truth she was a vile, obnoxious, toxic bitch who went out of her way to make my life a misery. She had in fact already alienated herself from the rest of the neighbourhood so I was fresh bate so to speak. She reported me to the RSPCA, environmental health, she screamed at me on numerous occasions, told me the whole neighbourhood despised me and were wanting her to do something about me and she was going to see to it that I moved out.

They owned a dog which was so aggressive it could only be walked after dark and completely muzzled. Her son who was in his 40’s and still single (can’t imagine why,) used to play loud rock music at all hours of the day and night,smoke weed out of his window and was an awful, awful individual.

Things only changed when she was waiting for me one day when I arrived home and told me that this was the final straw and she was going to see to it that I was ruined. I very calmly, very politely told her that I was recording the conversation with a view to contacting the police with regards to a harassment suit. She ran absolutely screaming at the top of her voice into her house and never spoke to me again. Result me thinks.

About eight months later they sold the house and moved, and it was then that I found out that she had actually done the same to practically all the neighbours and had been reported several times, not only to the police but to SS because of suspected abuse of her adult daughter who had SN.

The couple who moved in after are lovely, although admittedly they have a baby who screams and screams and screams but my hope is that this too will pass. But he told me the house had been left in an awful state, and that e.g. wooden panelling on the walls was in fact poly styrene with hard-board covering,the roof leaked into the loft, and they were considering suing them for miss-selling

@NoCauseRebel

You handed her well! What a nightmare.

Just shows you really can't know what to expect even if you've met the neighbours beforehand. Only actually living there will you know what the neighbours are like.

I know I said this upthread but the only nightmare neighbour I had was a middle aged single woman, and my friends have only had issues with elderly, retired meddlesome neighbours.

You really can't judge a book, and all that.

Don't believe the neighbours, I viewed a council house, the neighbours came out as I was leaving & questioned me about if I was taking the house. He was the chairman of the local Tenants & Residents Association, they seemed nice, I took the house. After I had been living there a few months my DS came in after playing out, some of the kids from a few doors away asked if he could leave his ball & scooter out for them to play with. I said no & told DS to bring them in, 5 minutes later there was someone hammering on my front door, I opened the door to a woman threatening to smash my face in because I had refused to leave my son's toys out for them to play with. Over the next 2 years we were threatened, bullied, I had my car damaged, my partner was assaulted, we had things stolen from the back garden. The council were useless & refused to help us, we eventually found someone who wanted to exchange with us & moved.

If someone did this to me I’d probably pretend to be even worse than that family off shameless because I wouldn’t want a nosey Parker next door!

We spent months researching neighborhoods (knocking on doors, saying hello to people out with their kids) before we even narrowed down the streets we would consider buying on. Very sensible, OP. Not infallible, but sensible nonetheless.

what?
if someone were to knock and ask about the neighbourhood I would say nothing.

We did this - but we knocked on next door-but-one and asked what their neighbours were like. Turns out they're lovely.

I would actually go and park up in the evening about 10/11pm maybe even later and see what’s going on.

Our street seems lovely - Norfolk town, middle class ish, during the day no issues whatsoever. Neighbours either side of us lovely oldish couples.

However, every night there’s a mum and her son up the road from us (almost opposite) who are drunk / druggies and will walk up and down the road shouting their head off at each other. It’s really horrible. The whole street has complained and reported them to 101 so many times. Nothing gets done. I actually want to move because of them.

It’s made me feel that if I was buying a house anywhere I’d definitely check what was going on at night!

With bells on! Unhelpful tossers x

If you can't see why some might not like this then you are not as "awesome" as you think.

I would not like this and quite frankly would see right through your "I want to see what the neighbourhood is like" speech and it would put me off.

I work full time and don't see my kids much at all M-F.

Evenings once I am home I am exhausted and weekends are for housework and spending time with my kids.

It might just be for "2 minutes" from your side, but what if you are the 4th or 5th person who has done so in the last couple of days.

I am a nice person, but am shy I suppose. I get nervous meeting new people and it takes me awhile to relax enough to be myself around new people. Some people I never relax around. But I am a good neighbour. However I would probably come across as unfriendly and stand offish through. When in reality I am exhausted or you have interrupted me in the middle of something.

Oh get an effing grip! I'm not going to charge up your staircase and run myself a bath. I didn't have to knock the NDN door as he was out front so I spoke to him very briefly then and he seemed pleasant enough. I did however discreetly knock HIS neighbours door after the viewing (end of the terrace) apologised for bothering him and pretty much just got to the point and asked him if the neighbour was a twat. Might as well just cut through the bullshit and come out with it! He was so nice and said he didn't blame me for checking, just as I wouldn't blame someone if they vetted me. Oh and for all the people thinking I'm some nosy gossip I give you my word - I absolutely loathe small talk, I'm not very sociable unless it's with people I've known for years and I really wouldn't give a flying shite about any of you. You are not that fascinating and neither am I! However that doesn't mean I wouldn't help someone out or reassure them if it isn't going to cost me anything, unlike some of the arseholes on here. Peace 😀

I think you are being very sensible! I took a lot of care when buying my last house - terrible neighbours are hell! I also checked out the whole area - including checking all police visits (this was on-line - quite informative! This was the Met). Spoke to the only neighbours - lovely couple and remain so!) - well worth the effort including lots of visits at varying times!

One side is lovely and always has been.
The other side really friendly and nice when they moved in - husband has now moved out and were treated to loud sex most weekends music and general shouting.
Situations change? Whilst they seem friendly it may change!

I really wouldn't give a flying shite about any of you

Charm personified!

“I did however discreetly knock HIS neighbours door after the viewing (end of the terrace) apologised for bothering him and pretty much just got to the point and asked him if the neighbour was a twat.”

And he I’m sure waved you off, and told both NDN and the seller about you and what you did. They’re just going to bend backwards for you to buy the house now . You’re not very good at thinking things through and seeing things from another point of view, so I’m not sure what the purpose of your post was. I suspect someone in RL was horrified and you came on here thinking you’d justify yourself by getting a bunch of strangers to agree with your viewpoint. Didn’t work.