To never buy a house unless I've met the neighbours

[ChangedAgainForAChange]

Saw a house today that I really like and I'm viewing it again on Saturday. It's a little mews house, perfect for one person or a couple but terraced so neighbours on both sides.

I absolutely refuse to put in an offer unless I've met at least one of them. I'm hoping the estate agent fucks off straight after the viewing so I can start knocking on doors and very politely asking "what the area" is like. I just want to try and get a feel for what they are like.

Some people don't even think of the neighbours once they're within their own 4 walls but I'm absolutely petrified I will get shit ones. I've had it before and it ruins your whole life. I just mean blasting stereos or pitbulls and feral kids etc. I would love a Janet and Keith retired and doting grandparents. I would not love a drug addicted mother of 9 who's been on Jeremy Kyle for shagging her mum's boyfriend.

Surely they'd want to know who's moving in next door too? Or am I overthinking it? Yes I do suffer with anxiety...

Honestly I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing, and I wouldn't be happy if someone knocked on my door asking things like that.
(I understand where you're coming from though. We rent but used to have lovely neighbours both sides. The one side moved and new people moved in. They play loud music or have their tv on loud until the early hours most nights, the tv and or whatever they play music on is directly the other side of our bedroom wall, just by our heads when we are in bed. We have the music or tv until 3-4am sometimes. Or in the kitchen the music will be so loud I sometimes can't even hear our tv without closing the kitchen door over. And they've been drilling and hammering at 10pm or later at times.
Fair enough terraced houses you expect more noise, but not as much as we get from them most days).

Our neighbours welcomed us with open arms, couldn’t do enough, a lovely retired couple delighted to have a young family move in. They are a NIGHTMARE on every level. You just can’t tell

I did this and pulled out of a buy because of it. She just didn't sit right with us and told us chucking out time from local was rowdy.

We knocked on at our new house. Seemed ok and been here 8 years. Had new neighbours since and they're fine. So glad i did this.

@believability wow, may I ask why?

I totally get where you are coming from and in some ways wish I had the balls to do it!! We have just bought a new house and I am very nervous about the new neighbours as we love ours now! But I reckon if someone knocked on my door and did this I'd find it pushy and really hope they didn't move in!! xx

We live in a semi detached house and had lovely neighbours who we never heard. They moved and we can constantly hear the arguing, loud music, sex from the new neighbours. We are selling and buying a detached house next!

@ChangedAgainForAChange But I would only have that brief encounter on which to base my reasonable assumption: you're a door-knocker. And you'd only have a brief impression of me: a hugely irritated snippy cow being frostily polite despite you interrupting my working from home.

I’m another one surrounded by what appears to be lovely retired couples, one side are a bit off the other side makes my life hell, it’s only the ones behind that are ok. I’ve not had problems in any other house . Hopefully going to move soon and will be choosing house on the distance from neighbors.

I get you op. Nightmare neighbours must be one of the worst things to have to suffer, and very difficult to escape from.

You're getting some odd responses on here. Some just being stubborn and bloody minded.

If I was living happily in my neighbourhood and got on well with my neighbours I'd welcome anyone asking about the area. When did people become so rude and unhelpful towards others? (Nick)

You can get a fair idea of what type of people you're going to be living beside from a 2 minute chat, of course you can. First impressions are formed within that time.

I'd look at is how well they look after their garden, any dogs left yapping outside? any dirty broken kids toys lying around? Dodgy window coverings? Taped up letter boxes? rubbish piled up outside? Loads of cars parked or abandoned? You could even speak to folk in the local pub or other gossipy place and ask about the street. Also look at past sales data to see if there's a high turnover of sales around that street.

It's right what others are saying though, you could go to all these great lengths and move in to find wonderful neighbours but 6 months later they move away and rent their house out or sell it to horrors.

I'd say though if it's causing you this much anxiety, a terraced property is probably not for you. You can't future proof anything attached to other people.

Neighbours move, and could seem lovely for five mins then turn out to be horrible, they could look scruffy and a bit annoyed with you knocking on the door but be amazing neighbours when you move in. I would check out how noise insulated the walls were, then the neighbours matter less (or buy in a cheaper area where you can afford bigger!)

My biggest regret is not doing that when I moved! The vendor said ‘nice man who lives on his own,’ he turned out to be an alcoholic drug addict who has fights on his doorstep! Thinking you’ve moved into a quiet area is no guarantee.

We have a lovely couple on one side, unfortunately they have 6 mangy filthy shit machine cats who soil our garden daily.

On the other side is a "sweet" 90 year old, who is hard of hearing so leaves her radio blasting most of the day and sometimes overnight. She also drink drives and is becoming ever more demanding with her constant requests to do things for her. And it is constant, she has been round 5 times since in the last 2 days, even though she has relatives living locally.
We are planning to move next year and it will be to a farmhouse!!

The 'worst' neighbours I had were the retired couple who moved in next to me in my first house - they were so nosy! He even started to do work on my garden & did all sorts 'to be helpful'.
Not the Polish lorry drivers who were next door to me second house - the house was owned by the lorry firm so the drivers & families changed frequently, but they were all super friendly & heard very little noise despite a few families living together in the house.

@callmerachel helpful response and one of the few who understands where I'm coming from thank you. Most boxes are ticked and I do like the place it would just feel even better if despite not being able to know much from a brief 2 minute chat or no guarantees about future changes I had a good first impression from who I'm living next door to at the time of moving into a new home. It does feel uncomfortable imposing on someone's time and I myself am not one for small talk and I like to be left alone. But if someone knocked on my door asking the same question I would happily spend 2 minutes of my life making them feel better 🙄

I'd have you in - give you a cup of tea - ask you your life story while I decided whether or not I wanted you to buy the house next to me! Lol. In the mean time the OH would be standing mouthing at me 'get rid of her - it's none of your business.' But I would welcome the opportunity to suss out a potential new neighbour - wouldn't want you lowering the tone of the neighbourhood. (We as a family are quite capable of doing that ourselves.)

We bought the dream detached house, really unusual, lots of work needed.
We were unbelievable considerate - no radio, restricted noise, etc. Turns out they'd rather have had a derelict building and continue to use the drive & garden, put us through hell.
Crazy, selfish Christodelpians, he's just died and the whole inability to 'love your neighbour' don't covert their oxen, means he's eternally doomed - so in the end it's all worked out.

To those saying a detached house is the answer - it isn’t. Ok you won’t get noise through the wall, but noisy neighbours could still very easily cause a disturbance in the summer when everyone is out in their gardens.

I would tell you to fuck off if you knocked on my door, but I'm probably a great neighbour. I look after the place, am out a lot, don't even watch TV so virtually noise free and only have indoor cats as pets.

Very sensible and we've done this where possible .... BUT even if they are the perfect neighbours you have no guarantee they will stay.

CallMeRachel I’m perfectly polite and friendly to my neighbours and have no issues where I live.

Randoms chapping my door asking about the area when I’m probably sleeping after nightshift? I don’t need to me helpful toward them, they are the ones that are disturbing me. It’s rude of them to bother me.

And if say, there are 10 viewers and half of them chap my door to ask this then I think most people would’ve be delighted with that.

Wouldn’t be.

But if someone knocked on my door asking the same question I would happily spend 2 minutes of my life making them feel better

But it's only two minutes for you. For them, if all the viewers do this, it's two minutes, every ten-thirty minutes, all evening on a viewing night, maybe multiple times a week while the house is on the market.

I bet after the fifteenth time you'd view house viewers less favorably than the Jehovah's witnesses!

Nick but they wouldn't know that you're a night shift worker though would they? You must be used to all that, charity collections, parcel couriers, postie, neighbours mowing the grass etc?

The person coming to you may well end up becoming your neighbour, why risk getting off on the wrong foot?

I used to be a shift worker too, it can be shit. If people coming to your door bothers you so much why not get a sign for your door? It sounds as if you need to get a good sleep.

Let's face op you have mind up your mind you are going to do this and you are only agreeing with the few people that agree with you. Loads of others have told you It's pointless the neighbors going to think you'll are crazy but you are not taking that in. now every bsathshit neighbour thread I see I am going to suspect they are talking about you.

@ShirleyPhallus the people on Jeremy Kyle are not 'working class'... Generally they are not working at all 🙄