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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel guilty about this

77 replies

Driftingthoughlife · 06/03/2019 18:12

Name changed at very outing. My DH supports a football team which a lot of the fans boycotted due to the mismanagement of the owners including husband. The owners have finally been got rid of so the fans having started to go back on with the first home game this Tuesday night. There has been no indication when the owners would finally be removed till a few week ago as has been going on for ages.

A month ago I was asked to go on a course for my new job which is very important. I don’t drive due to a medical condition so asked my husband if he can take me. Turns out course is also relevant to his job so he has signed up to the course as well.

Anyway fast forward to last week and the boycotting fans are going back on so DH goes through to the ground and to get a ticket and whilst there decides get a part season ticket for the games for the rest of the season with the first game being this Tuesday night.

DH has now spit his dummy and a sulking. I have tried to arrange a lift with someone else and cancel DHs place but not able to as all the staff live in completely different directions and there is no public transport. A taxi would be a hell of a lot of money.

I have worked it out and. DH could get there about half an hour after kick off somnot a lost cause

To think I should not feel guilty about this and DH should have checked the dates

OP posts:
Tomtontom · 06/03/2019 18:16

Why not get public transport as far as you can, then a taxi for the remainder of the journey?

You've nothing to feel guilty for, but equally he's not obliged to transport you.

If I was a Blackpool supporter I'd want to be there before the match on Tues. It's a huge event in the club's history.

19lottie82 · 06/03/2019 18:19

YABU..... sorry.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 06/03/2019 18:20

I think he is o life's to transport you, since he made a commitment to do so. He is the one wanting to change a prior arrangement, so has no business being arsey if you need him to stick to the plan.

Jupiters · 06/03/2019 18:21

I don't think you're bring unreasonable... He made a commitment with you first.

Blueemeraldagain · 06/03/2019 18:25

Why would you feel guilty? I would be sorry for him and would try and genuinely sympathise but guilty? As in, to take some of the blame/responsibility? No.

Any chance of your job covering the cost of a taxi if they need you to go?

Hwory · 06/03/2019 18:25

Yanbu he made a commitment to you and he shouldn’t just get to drop you for a bloody football game.

Original poster
Driftingthoughlife · 06/03/2019 18:27

If I don’t do the course I cant do a certain part of the job and I am the main wage earner at the moment. I know it’s not his duty to transport me but I asked for a favour and he agreed. He said at the time he would not be happy for me to go on public transport after dark (he said this not me).

OP posts:
Kannet · 06/03/2019 18:29

Can't he just drop
You off extra early so he is back in time for the start of the game

ALargeGinPlease · 06/03/2019 18:31

So what's DH's solution? You cant drive, or get a lift with someone else, he doesn't want you to take public transport. I'd leave it for Dh to provide a solution as he's the one who's changed the arrangements.

Drum2018 · 06/03/2019 18:31

YANBU. He was doing the course as well as taking you so shouldn't turn around now and put a football match first. I'd only let him off as long as he paid for a taxi for me to get there and back. He's being very childish.

PerfumeandOranges · 06/03/2019 18:33

This event for Blackpool fans is a historic one. It's not just any old football match. Be reasonable.

TowelNumber42 · 06/03/2019 18:33

If he signed up to the course why are you doing the cancelling?

He promised to go with you and to drive so he has got a cheek to get snotty about you expecting him to stick with his promise.

Nevertheless, if I were you I'd make a bit of a song and dance about letting him off his commitment to have a favour in the bank and I'd get the bus.

TheChippendenSpook · 06/03/2019 18:34

Is it Blackpool? The first home match again in on Saturday if so.

I know I've completely missed the point but it's my team 🧡

TheChippendenSpook · 06/03/2019 18:35

But yes we are at home on Tuesday too.

ilovesooty · 06/03/2019 18:37

I think it's a pretty historic occasion if you're a Blackpool supporter but he should be working on finding a solution given he said he'd go and take you.

Mmmhmmm · 06/03/2019 18:39

It's definitely Blackpool.

As much as I love football, I think your husband has his priorities all wrong.

TheChippendenSpook · 06/03/2019 18:40

I live out of town now but I'd love to go to every home game until the end of the season. They're all going to be great but Saturday is the big one though. It's near enough sold out.

I feel for him but your work is important. Half an hour late isn't too bad, he'll see most of it. I'm gutted I won't be there but I will be on Saturday.

flitwit99 · 06/03/2019 18:44

Can he drop you off early and you could wait in a coffee shop maybe?
I would really want to go to the match.

Original poster
Driftingthoughlife · 06/03/2019 18:45

Just relished and pointed out it is not the first home game. That is on Saturday

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 06/03/2019 18:47

You've nothing to feel guilty for, but equally he's not obliged to transport you

Well he is if he'd already committed to do so.

He can't go to the match as he has a prior engagement.

Ginger1982 · 06/03/2019 18:52

It's not about him being obliged, it's the fact he said he would do it and now wants to renege because of football of all things 🙄

Totally not the same but my DH agreed to be at home for DS a few weekends ago as I had arranged to go out with a friend. His mates then wanted to meet up to watch the rugby in the pub. DH went but was back to let me out, leaving them all still there. He said he could have just stayed as he was just getting into the drinking but he wasn't going to let me down.

If your DH can get into the ground after half an hour I don't see the problem. It's only football!

Quartz2208 · 06/03/2019 18:55

Hold on he is going too to further his career as well to enable him to earn more as well. That’s just life I’m afraid sometimes it happens. He is allowed to be upset but ultimately he is a grown up with grown up commitments

Dextrodependant · 06/03/2019 19:00

What is so historic about the Tuesday match?

Can't you compromise, you arrive 15mins early and he arrives 15 mins late?

SaturdayNext · 06/03/2019 19:06

Slightly daft to make a big deal of going on public transport after dark. Millions of people do, perfectly safely, especially in winter.

JamPasty · 06/03/2019 19:13

I think this situation calls for public transport and or taxi, sorry. Not for a normal footie game, but this particular one is so hugely significant.