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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel guilty about this

77 replies

Driftingthoughlife · 06/03/2019 18:12

Name changed at very outing. My DH supports a football team which a lot of the fans boycotted due to the mismanagement of the owners including husband. The owners have finally been got rid of so the fans having started to go back on with the first home game this Tuesday night. There has been no indication when the owners would finally be removed till a few week ago as has been going on for ages.

A month ago I was asked to go on a course for my new job which is very important. I don’t drive due to a medical condition so asked my husband if he can take me. Turns out course is also relevant to his job so he has signed up to the course as well.

Anyway fast forward to last week and the boycotting fans are going back on so DH goes through to the ground and to get a ticket and whilst there decides get a part season ticket for the games for the rest of the season with the first game being this Tuesday night.

DH has now spit his dummy and a sulking. I have tried to arrange a lift with someone else and cancel DHs place but not able to as all the staff live in completely different directions and there is no public transport. A taxi would be a hell of a lot of money.

I have worked it out and. DH could get there about half an hour after kick off somnot a lost cause

To think I should not feel guilty about this and DH should have checked the dates

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 06/03/2019 19:14

It's only football

Someone who isn't a football fan and long time supporter of a particular team isn't going to get it.

EthelHornsby · 06/03/2019 19:20

Assuming you’re a fully functioning adult, what’s the problem with public transport after dark?

TheChippendenSpook · 06/03/2019 19:23

ilovesooty especially for us (Blackpool fans) at the moment. Non football fans just won't understand.

Slowknitter · 06/03/2019 19:24

Public transport. Personally I wouldn't accept my dh telling me I couldn't take public transport after dark. I'm an adult.

PaintBySticker · 06/03/2019 19:28

I couldn’t care less about football and even if I could he made the commitment to you first so should honour it.

But agree with comments above that ‘public transport after dark’ is a pretty normal thing.

phoenixrosehere · 06/03/2019 19:31

You have no reason to feel guilty.

No matter how historic the game is, he made plans with you and signed up for the same course because it was relevant to his job too. He is also the one who decided to purchase said tickets and didn’t think about the dates. He can sulk all he likes but this is entirely on him, not you.

Original poster
Driftingthoughlife · 06/03/2019 19:32

My disability is I have seizures that are uncontrolled so that’s why my DH does not like me using public transport after dark as I had a bad experience were I had a seizure on a bus and was stolen off while having it

OP posts:
Original poster
Driftingthoughlife · 06/03/2019 19:34

Because it was late there was me and the person who stole from me on the bus.

I however am quite happy using it as I try not to let my seizures and what happened effect me.

OP posts:
whywhywhy6 · 06/03/2019 19:35

Just get him to drop you off half an hour early. I don’t care about football but assuming he is otherwise a kind and thoughtful person (as he seems to be, given he agreed to drive you) I’d see this as a one off situation. Hardly worth posting about.

Original poster
Driftingthoughlife · 06/03/2019 19:38

I have no issue with him dropping me early but he will not want me getting public transport back for the reasons mentioned about. Anyway I have given him three options
I either get a taxi all the way there and back which will be a lot of money but we can afford it
I part public transport and part taxi which I am willing to do
He comes and shuts about the football and stops moping about it
He had chosen option 3 so there we go his choice

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 06/03/2019 20:07

Couldn't he drive you there early and you get a cab back?

Gina2012 · 06/03/2019 20:19

So your DHs commitment to you comes second to a fucking football match? An important match, you say? Is honouring a commitment not important?

Football before wife?

Yes, that sounds perfectly reasonable doesn't it?

What a dickwad he is

Ginger1982 · 06/03/2019 21:47

I will never understand people who would put shouting at men running after a ball on a pitch above a commitment made to a family member. Glad he's made the right decision.

ilovesooty · 06/03/2019 22:06

As I said, non football fans aren't going to get it.

Chloemol · 06/03/2019 22:14

He agreed to take you, and agreed to go on the course as well for his own work. He is being unreasonable to change it now just because the football got sorted

ineedaholidaynow · 06/03/2019 22:17

So does football come before work?

Klopptimist · 06/03/2019 22:28

Well I am DELIGHTED for Blackpool FC and their supporters - Owen Oyston is a vile piece of shit. Obvs. I'm not a supporter (see username) but the match in question represents a lot more than "men running after a ball on a pitch". Google OO and you'll see that his departure really is something to be celebrated.

mrsmuddlepies · 06/03/2019 22:30

He is doing you a favour. You don't sound very nice to him. I can't see why you can't compromise in some way. You might at least try to understand what it means to him.

CountTessa · 06/03/2019 23:00

Why doesn't he drop you off early, go to the match and you get a taxi back?

Ps doesn't negate being annoyed that he's reneged on his deal.

ImNotTheDramaLlamaHere · 06/03/2019 23:01

YANBU!
He made plans and he needs to stick to them!
Especially as your the earner and it's important for your job!!!

gt84 · 06/03/2019 23:18

I don’t think you need to feel guilty but as you said you can afford to get a taxi there and back I don’t see the issue here.
This is something important to him, it’s something that he can rearrange or control the timings of and him going to the match does not affect you going to your course.
We all need that “something” in our lives, something that is ours, somewhere we feel release. For some it’s football, for others it’s concerts, theatres, some other hobby. But it’s important to have that balance in life, as a Blackpool fan this particular night is a one time experience

gt84 · 06/03/2019 23:18

Sorry that should say it’s NOT something he can rearrange

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 06/03/2019 23:32

I don't buy the whole 'hes doing you a favour' bs. For a start, it's only a favour of he actually does what he committed to doing and secondly, OP is the main wage earner and this is for her job. Presumably the DH wants to eat this month?

AwakeNow · 07/03/2019 01:02

The class commitment is obviously more important, and it will help him as well. If he cannot bear to go to the class and miss the beginning of a game....well, his priorities are screwed.

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/03/2019 01:43

As I said, non football fans aren't going to get it.

Well I get that if you make a commitment then you stick to it and dont ditch it for a better offer. The course will enhance the main breadwinner's earning potential, the football match is an event to watch as an optional extra. Not even vaguely comparable.

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