To be so upset about needing to wear glasses!

[DamnItJanett]

Okay first world problem I know...

I went for an eye test recently and was told I need glasses. Which is fine, nothing wrong with that plenty of people do of course!

I'm not the type to care overly about how I look especially so it's not a vanity thing but I've shocked myself with how upset I am about this.

It's more because I just can't find any that I think look okay on me and it's frustrating. Every single pair I try on look ridiculous on me. DP says they look fine but I just feel so horrible about myself in them that I end up not wearing them.

I have lots of friends who wear them and they all look fab. Some of them I can't even picture them without them.

I feel really silly getting so upset about this but I just feel incredibly uncomfortable in them and just can't find the right shape or style for me at all.

I really need to start wearing them but I can't bring myself to.

Did anyone else have an uncomfortable/difficult transition stage having to start wearing glasses in adulthood? I look like a different person and I hate it.

I've recently had to wear reading glasses but honestly, I think they make my eyes feel worse. I like that I can see things clearly long-distance but they have anti-glare lenses that are supposed to make it easier on the eyes when looking at a computer screen but when I take them off I get really bad headaches and it puts me off wearing them.

Please don't think of yourself as being "silly" for being upset. It's not nice knowing that something which used to be perfect no longer is. It's hard to accept. I was very upset and pissed off when my perfect eye sight got worse (short sightedness) in my early 30s. A decade later I have +3.5 in each eye, I think, and I wear glasses only in few situations: watching tv, in shops, in a new environment where I need to see clearly (i don't drive but if I did that would be another of these). I never wear them all the time simply because the eyes will get so used to glasses that I wont be able to get dressed without them! And I would absolutely hate it.

I don't like the idea of contact lenses, because I get eye irritations and because I don;t like something being stuck in there for a prolonged period, plus the same reason: eyes getting used to it and stop functioning without.

I hope to do laser surgery one day, but optometrists say you need to do it only when your eye sight stopped getting worse and stabilised.

I don't like the way I look with glasses on and always take them off before being photographed, even though I have very thin frames. I don't care if that is "vain" to some. I dislike the changing trends for frames and stick to my thin ones but the fact is, when you are changing lenses, they might not fit into your old frames, and the new ones can be crap (exp. those "geeky" ones which 23 y.o. who want to look like they are 55 wear). I've got expensive thin Dior frame which they might say won't fit the new lenses when I go for another eye test. Need less to say I haven't had one in 3 years!

So hope this all makes you feel better :) Let's nurse the idea of laser surgery one day ...

I started wearing glasses in my early 30s and hated them. I felt I looked so much better without them. It took me a year or two to get used to seeing myself in them. Have you had a trial of contacts? I think if I could have worn them for when I was going out I’d have felt a lot better about glasses the rest of the time. I can’t wear contacts though so that wasn’t an option. I’m nearing 60 now and mainly don’t mind glasses at all. I soon worked out which styles were likely to suit me (very small, narrow face). Maybe investigate contacts because knowing you can switch between those and glasses (or even wear contacts all the time) might be a good option for you. I’d certainly have worn them if I could.

As PP, I tried the glasses for a while but couldn't get on with them, I didn't fee like myself, so now I wear contacts! Definitely worth giving them a try!

My friend had laser correction and never looked back. You will find a pair that suits yo and one day you will not even be bothered by how you look in them you get used to it. Get some super trandy glasses that show off your face, then you wont feel so self-conscious. Contacts are also good. Surprising how you adjust to them and with make up. Get a pair and see how you get on.

I am blind as a bat without my glasses and have worn them since age c 6 - not the same pair! I am very short-sighted with high astigmatism and cannot wear contact lenses. I also have a nickel allergy, so my choice of frames is limited by that.

But........I am very happy wearing glasses - no problem at all. They are expensive (especially with my prescription) but I treat myself to new frames every now and again just to ring the changes - they are a great fashion accessory. Just enjoy!

Every time I have new frames I look at myself in the mirror and think Who the heck is she?! It is a new me!!!

I got my first pair of glasses at 9 years old for watching tv/reading the blackboard in school. Once I got to secondary school I stopped wearing them. Obviously my eyesight got a whole lot worse and I got an eye test and new glasses when I was about 21. I wore them in the house for a bit then they broke and I didn't bother again until 2 years ago when I was 25.

I have only started in the last couple of months wearing my glasses full time. Before this I wore them at home only, refused to go out wearing them. On the odd occasion I did I was convinced everyone was looking at me.

My eyesight is shocking, when I wasnt wearing them I was constantly screwing my eyes up trying to see stuff. If someone shouted me in town I would pretend not to hear and keep walking as it was less embarrassing than stopping and looking around trying to work out who it was.

Now I'm wearing them all the time it feels great actually being able to see I don't know how I managed all those years without them! I'm not thrilled about how they look on me and will probably get contacts eventually. I don't wear them if I go on a night out but I do enjoy being able to see now, I love my glasses I'd be lost without them

I also know what you mean; I'm short sighted and first got glasses when I was 13. I disliked wearing them then and 24 years later I still do. I got contact lenses at 16 and have worn them ever since; daily disposables are great. I pretty much only wear my glasses occasionally at home first thing in the morning or at night, or if I'm ill. If I ever wear them out I feel self conscious, like I've left the house without finishing getting ready or something. I think glasses look fine on other people, I just personally don't like wearing them. I'd be lost without contacts (literally and figuratively).

I love my glasses. Please don't settle for some that look fine, find some that look stunning

Yanbu. I had a little cry a few days ago because I now need hearing aids. So I have glasses (varifocal), 2 hearing aids and dentures.

When I get up in the morning I check the bed to see if any arms/legs etc have fallen off in the night.

I'm the same so I just don't wear them! Prescription is only -.50 and -.75 so I can still see. Sometimes I wear them while driving when I'm not as self conscious!

Why on earth won't you just get contacts? Problem solved. You're making such a big deal of something when there is an easy alternative.

A slightly (very) odd suggestion: could you pretend you're going out in disguise? So it's not 'you' wearing the glasses but you pretending to be someone else. Almost as if you're giving yourself an excuse to look different, with the hope that you then get used to it.

Are contacts an option for you?

Aquamarine1029 I've said about 3 times I'm going to look into contacts and that I'd been worried about putting something in my eye at first until people here told me that the store assistants show you how to do it, but thanks for the input 👍

I’ve just got told to get glasses and I ordered mine from Polette which is a French company. They have clear frames so maybe that’s an idea if you want them to ‘blend’ into your face more

You're being silly, but as a glasses wearer I understand how you feel.

I went to the opticians when it was quiet, and I had plenty of time. I picked up a shit load of glasses and went and sat in front of the mirror and made a yes, no and a maybe pile.

I also got the woman in the shop to help, I found a pair that I like and suit me but it was hard work.

You have bad eyesight and you have to just own it, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Even if you end up being a regular contacts wearer, it’s always good to have a pair of glasses. I can’t wear contacts (dry eye issues) but my DM has done for years, and she always had a pair of glasses for days where she just didn’t feel the need to wear her contacts (eg casual days at home).

I was in my late teens when I had to start wearing glasses (and discovered I can’t wear contacts, which scuppered my plans!). I didn’t even wear sunglasses before, I felt like all glasses looked massive on my face so for several years I went for the slimmest rectangular lenses glasses I could find, they were fine, but I never really liked them. I also thought glasses made me look worse. So I understand what you’re saying, it’s normal to be a bit uncertain with what will feel like quite a big change to how your face looks on a daily basis.

Do you have a friend or relative you trust when it comes to suggesting something to wear? It was my DH who eventually helped me to find a style of glasses I really like wearing. I’ve discovered over the years that I buy much better outfits when I go shopping with him, as he will encourage me to try things I like the idea of but that I think wouldn’t suit me, so I figured I’d do the same with him and glasses! The frames and lenses are much bigger and rounded (Ray Bans), and I love them. They suit me much better, I was surprised to get compliments on them (never been complimented on my glasses before) and I never would have tried them without a bit of encouragement.

Eventually you’ll get used to it. I now think I look odd without glasses, there’s an adjustment period.

I got some LK Bennett's recently and I loveeeee them. Very thin frames. I found wearing glasses hard and used to wear contacts mostly, but now I wear my glasses because they complete my look and I look a bit dull without them

I got glasses when I was 15, and thought I looked awful and was so embarrassed. I still wore them, so I could see the board at school, but I hated it. About 2 years later I got a gorgeous stylish pair that actually suited my face shape and have pretty much stuck to a very similar design ever since (13 years now!). I get compliments all the time and now feel naked without them! Although I have to agree with pp's, stuff like swimming or getting caught in the rain is very annoying. But that's what contact lenses are for!
To sum up; work out what your face shape is and Google which glasses style would suit you best. And get some contact lenses!

I used to feel like you OP, but I realised that if you’re feeling tired or just can’t be bothered putting make up on, glasses can be a godsend! I wear them all the time at work now. But I do wear contacts at weekends, nights out etc.

Glasses are a real fashion accessory now for adults and children. When I was a child they only had the grim NHS ones for children.

I have to say that I thought this idea of being embarrassed by glasses was well and truly gone and I am amazed by this thread. There are people who wear ones with plain glass in because they love the frames.

Wear them and enjoy them!

To the poster who cried about needing hearing aids - just go for them! I can assure you the sound of birdsong is a joy!

I have to say that I thought this idea of being embarrassed by glasses was well and truly gone and I am amazed by this thread

It's not that I'm embarrassed that I need glasses or think anything about people who need them! I'm embarrassed because I don't like the way they look on me. Like being forced to go out in public in a hat you think looks daft on you, for example. I just don't think they suit me!

I have made an appointment to discuss contacts at my local specsavers so we will see about that!

I am a bit confused - this cannot be the first time you have seen yourself in glasses? Unless you have honestly never protected your eyes properly by wearing sunglasses?

Do you feel the same when wearing sunglasses? If not, just choose a similar frame shape etc as PP have advised.

I don't really think glasses and sunglasses are directly comparable in terms of how they are going to look on someone.

I suit aviator style sunglasses but look ridiculous in those style frames of normal glasses.