Is mumsnet aimed at rich families ?

[starsparkle08]

I’ve seen quite a lot of threads on here where families seem to have a huge amount of disposable income .
Im a single parent without a huge amount and wondering if I am in the minority on here ?
I’ve noticed there seems to be more people with lower incomes on netmums ? Am I generalising or have others noticed this also

Nink I understand ( and think it's lovely you clarified you weren't shouting!)

They used to do a census, and yeah, that showed a lot of wealthy posters.

And it’s left wing so of course they’re wealthy. They’re the only people who seem to be left wing these days. 😂😂

If they CHOOSE more expensive properties/areas that's nobody's fault but their own

Wanting to live in a nice area of london, in a nice, good sized properly, have children, have savings etc are not needs.

no you are absolutely right, London workers should live in Wales or any other cheaper part of the country, and commute daily if the cost of living is too high in London. Why didn't anyone think of that before!

Problem solved!

"I am specifically making the point that a person on Mumsnet who says they live in a big house, have five children, go on multiple holidays per year and work in a highly paid job but who then on another thread says they have only got X amount of money to last til payday, or who ‘whinges’ about being skint or is trying to ‘make ends meet’ for a specific period of time is not automatically lying."

I agree with this in terms of a statement about truth and falsity.

What I disagree with is the conjoined idea that it is somehow inevitable that as your income goes up, your outgoings do too. That is not some kind of law of nature - it is a series of choices.

but even in London you can chose cheaper parts you don't need to go to Wales and commute; the medway towns are cheaper so is Tower hamlets there are places for sale within 10 miles of canary wharf with 2 bedrooms for under 300K etc where do you think all the people who work in Tesco's in London live it is not Islington or Wales

Don't be facetious!

There are cheaper areas/properties in London too. I lived there working in a nmw job for a year and lived in the south east in a variety of roles for several years. It's absolutely possible to live in London/south east without being on a higher salary.

I still have friends/acquaintances living there. Most are sensible about it but a few do have the attitude as if they're hard done by because they're on a good salary but "can't afford" various luxuries - but they have chosen to live in more expensive areas, have larger properties than they need, and spend on things like higher end cars.

They're not hard done by they're just now owning their choices.

Basically, don't move to a massive detached place in a naice postcode, drive a £100k car, send your kids to expensive schools, hire an occasional cleaner and gardener, and then use the word 'skint' because your mortgage, car and lifestyle choices leave you having to work all hours and still really tight at the end of the month, when there are people literally starving because benefits have been cut. And don't waste other people's time and energy asking for compassion. You have made greedy choices for the sake of showing off to a non-existent audience (because no-one cares!), and that's not something that ever conduces to genuine happiness. You. Chose. This.

You could have had a smaller house and car, and more time, disposable income and quality of life and you threw that genuine opportunity for contentment and freedom away.

I used to work with a woman who would arrive at work and cry because she was so miserable in the job. She owned 2 houses, drove top of the range sports cars, and had a house full of expensive antiques. She said she couldn't quit because 'what has it all been for, otherwise'. Literally, someone who was incapable of creating meaning for themselves outside of consumerism.

Staggered at the extreme B/W polarisation of opinion. MN is a refuge and recreation for lots of posters, who come to voice opinions and ideas they might not wish to state out loud in their home territory. Or to seek opinion and input from outside the family and friends/FB circuit.

What comes back is often robust, and sometimes it's so hard-hitting that it's frightening. But because it's anonymous you don't think anyone you know is telling you what you want to read/hear, even when hearing/reading it. MN depersonalises, and that's great IMHO.

Graphista, you are right. I am also talking CHOICES. Good choices and bad choices. There are people who chose to educate themselves for years, sacrifice other life pleasures in order to climb career ladder and now they enjoy higher income. It doesn't make them bad, "out of touch", lying, pretentious snobs as some people here claim.

It is all down to choices that one makes in his or her life. I suspect the % of people who don't have to move a finger and have a lavish lifestyle on MN is close to 0. They exist but unlikely they hang out here. Everybody else works for little or for reasonable amount of money.

No, they’re not skint like a poor person is, but their money is all used up.

Poor things. Having no money at the end of every month because of expensive holidays, huge mortgages, eating out, buying nice food, doing nice things

You seem to be confusing choices and opportunities.

Not everyone has access to further let alone higher education. Not just financially but by reason of ability.

Not everyone has access to good job opportunities - again not just financially but in terms of connections, health, confidence, access to other support (eg childcare)

http://digitalsynopsis.com/inspiration/privileged-kids-on-a-plate-pencilsword-toby-morris/

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4K5fbQ1-zps

https://www.ted.com/talks/paulpifffdoesmoneyymakeyouu_mean

I hold 2 degrees, a post grad qualification and numerous professional paperwork. I'm currently not able to work due to ill health, a combination of serious mh issues and a physical disability. I've been at various points in my life a full time low paid employee, a ft student with no other commitments, a full time employee with good prospects, a sahm, a full time working single mum, a ft student single mum & pt worker, a full time working single mum, an unemployed single disabled mother.

My brother is a police officer currently working full time, holds an undergrad degree and is working on his masters which will hopefully aid him in gaining further promotion. He's also been a full time low paid employee, a full time employee, a single pt working resident parent, a ft working single resident parent, a ft working married parent (what he is now).

The difference between us? He was born male and so was of no interest in a certain way to our abusive father, witnessed and experienced other abuse though. He also wasn't involved in a car accident where he was hit by a twat on their phone while stationery. He was also able to access a lot of support as a single parent that I wasn't because his ex died, which is how he came to be a resident single parent. Also because he had support from within the police community. Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad he and my nephew had that support just saying equivalent support isn't available to divorced single mums.

I've been luckier than others in that I was born with a brain that was able to benefit from an academic education, that same brain also has a dysfunction (possibly due to a deformity of some kind) that has led to me having severe OCD & anxiety.

I was born at a time that meant when I did my nursing degree it was fully funded

But it also meant i was a child and teenager in an abusive household at a time when such things weren't widely discussed, at a time when police policy was not to "interfere" in "marital problems" and calls to domestic disputes didn't trigger social work involvement.

Lots of choices are only available to certain people. If you're not a white, mc, physically fit & healthy male your choices will be limited. How much they're limited depends how many oppressed groupings you fall into.

A disabled, working class, woman of colour has a lot less opportunities and therefore choices than most others.

There's a reason "check your privilege" as a concept exists. Too many don't recognise, let alone acknowledge their privilege.

Having choices as a well off, mc, healthy person is not the same as a working class, disabled, single mother having to find a way to manage.

There are cheaper areas/properties in London too.

I lived there working in a nmw job for a year and lived in the south east in a variety of roles for several years. It's absolutely possible to live in London/south east without being on a higher salary.

Sorry, that is absolute Grade 1 nailed on nonsense. It might be okay for a year when you’re single but it’s not sustainable and you certainly wouldn’t be able to raise a family. The only way for low paid people in London to survive is council housing but there’s none left now. Even the ‘cheap’ areas are massively expensive now and they’re further out and the travel cost and times are bad. Where I grew up is one of the supposedly cheaper area but my parents ordinary 3 bed terrace that they bought for £16,000 in the early 80s is almost a million now. That are used to have families living in them that were very ordinary. A builder and a hairdresser, a teacher and a SAHM, a bus driver and a cleaner - people like that couldn’t do that now. You’d never be able to own and you’d have to live hand to mouth every month never saving. Nowhere in London is affordable for ordinary people. I’ve watched my friends go through homelessness, overcrowding and financial problems before they were finally driven out by prices.

Are you saying there's no working class parents raising families in london/south east?

The year I was in London I was single no kids. But when I lived elsewhere in south east that included a period as a working class single mother.

I remember a poster on here a while ago who was genuinely moaning that she only had £2k a month left over after bills but her DH had more than that because his job was better paid and he also kept £2k to spend and put the rest in joint savings. She was complaining because she thought it was totally unreasonable to save when she was just scraping by on £2k. Oh and she moaned about holidays too.

lots and lots of pages but has anyone mentioned the fact that not all people who post are in/from the uk?
i was first introduced to mn when my dd asked me to research private schools. i'm in another country and have more time on my hand to search online.
she has neither experience poverty in her home country or uk poverty, so i can imagine if she posted about her challenges someone would be shaking their heads in disbelief.

BejamNostalgia sorry, it's you that's talking nonsense. I have lived in inner London all my life, for the last nearly 30 years in a borough notorious for deprivation - although there is also a lot of wealth and gentrification. Many of the schools have high proportions of children on FSM. There are huge council estates and social housing. In 2016 28% of children in the borough lived in poverty; i.e. where household income was under £14,000 a year. People may not be able to "afford" to raise families, they are doing it nonetheless.

There’s a good mix I think. Some super rich but also a lot of normal incomes.

Mumsnet does seem to get much poorer in the run up to Christmas though!

Whatvannoys me us when the well off assume that you are poor as you are kazy and feckless.
I work my arse off ...i just didnt marry well. I dindnt marry full stoo.
That is my fault apparently for having poor judgement. In fact i have a mentsl health issue that makes relatiinships hard.

I have also been told that i should carrh on teaching even though it made me very ill as i can earn more money.
Have been advised on here bit to train as a radiologist as they apparently dont earn enough...i left teaching...am now retraining.

Nany on here are money obsessed.

Sorry but people who are living in big houses, have savings and pay school fees are not living hand to mouth Ninkan...
Why dont they downsize and send the kids to the local state to free up the cash? At least they have the option.
Im on universal credit. THAT is hand to mouth... and i cannot downscale or save.
Oh and im on my second degree in a professional role.plus work paid on the side..i work bloody hard but cannot afford luxuries like a big house.
Its just people with wealth like to moan about money too!

Some of the posts I read are cloud cuckoo land compared to my experience of life. I guess I fall into that middle bracket where I don't earn buckets, but I'm not struggling so don't comment.

The threads I particularly raise my eyebrows at seem to be always money related and how much help people receive from their families.

Eg. The how much to pay a teenage babysitter posts. I've more than once read £10+/ hour. The implication is that anything less is stingy. But £10/hr is more than lots of adults doing proper physical jobs get paid!

I love the style and beauty pages though you wouldn't know it to see me.

Whatvannoys me us when the well off assume that you are poor as you are kazy and feckless.

Yes I agree with this, and that the circumstances you are in (can be area, illness, age, pretty much anything) are just excuses and if you tried hard enough of course it would work!
I don't think anyone who's got money has had it handed to them, or that they haven't worked, or that it's easy.
I do think that a lot of people in that situation have a very short sighted view, and don't realise that the reality is that society relies on the lower paid workers heavily, we're the bottom layer of the pyramid, and if that crumbles then so does society.
It's also down to the government promoted belief that anyone on benefits is a lazy scrounger, some people cannot reconcile that ingrained fact alongside the fact that some people on benefits work just as hard as they do, for less money. And they work for less money because employers are thinking about the profit line rather than society. So the government plugs the holes with things like tax credits and now universal credit. No one there is being socially responsible and trying to change things, but the people on the other end are expected to be socially responsible and not be a drain on society. Overlooking that many, including me, wouldn't be a drain on society if employers were to pay a wage that people could actually live on, rather than keeping costs as low as possible to ensure a higher profit - for themselves. Out of the two groups, employers are far better placed to be socially responsible aren't they? But it's easier and keeps profits up to pay someone as little as possible to keep their profit margin as healthy as possible.

It's also apparent that the poorer people on here have their opinions dismissed as rubbish a lot too.

I think it's more that when there's a thread that asks what people earn, it tends to be a lot of big earners that love to tell us they have 10k a month after tax. People like myself (who are earn less than the national average) are less likely to shout about it