Is mumsnet aimed at rich families ?

[starsparkle08]

I’ve seen quite a lot of threads on here where families seem to have a huge amount of disposable income .
Im a single parent without a huge amount and wondering if I am in the minority on here ?
I’ve noticed there seems to be more people with lower incomes on netmums ? Am I generalising or have others noticed this also

[motheroftinydragons]

Talking about comparing NM and MN, I think it'd be really interesting to post a random thing on here, then the same on Netmums and compare the responses. (I won't because I wouldn't want to be accused of being hairy handed) For example - posting about a row with your DH over how much they do around the house or with the children, or an annoying MIL, something we see in AIBU or relationships a lot.

I would bet on Netmums this get 99% responses for the OP, along the lines of 'oh wow that's awful hun, are you ok?'. On here, I imagine, they'd be a bit of that but also many more balanced views. What was your part in the row, has DH been out at work for 60 hours this week, have you been being a cow to MIL and she's just retaliated? That sort of thing. I believe this forum has a far more varied and diverse set of posters. Regardless of income or class, the majority of people on here just seem smarter and more thoughtful to me.

That's why I prefer MN. You don't just exist in an echo chamber. I prefer the bluntly honest responses to the pandering. Of course there's some nonsense and goady bollocks but there will always be posters that actually make you think about things from a perspective other than your own.

Was anyone ever on Bounty when that had a forum? I was briefly and then joined a FB birth group formed from there with my first baby a few years ago. It was like NM XXL, and I hate to say it but I came across some of the most poorly educated and generally ignorant about the world (but nice!) people. I left when they all started calling GOSH doctors murderers for taking poor Charlie Gard's parents to court and joined 'the army'. The level of ignorance was astonishing.

[CountFosco]

Some daft comment do piss me off sometimes. Like a comment I saw a while back, “who buys their own kid just one Bday present?”

I don't think that has anything to do with money though. Except for that inverse thing where the middle classes spend less at Christmas than the working class (which I'm not entirely sure about TBH eyes Islabike that DD got for Christmas). But I was very aware as a child that my friend with a small extended family got more from her Mum at Christmas than I did. But I got about 10 presents from various family members whereas she just got from her Mum so who got more? And can you see why my parents didn't need to buy us lots?

[XingMing]

And how to cope with either.

[XingMing]

Perfect post, *shiningstar, You've summed it up for me. It's all about ideas and interests, whether babies or your ageing parents' gradual/precipitous decline.

[shiningstar2]

Does it matter how many of the posters are middle class, working class or upper class Who defines what constitutes middle class anyway? Definitely lower end of the income here but some might think my interests are middle class: theatre, book club, dinner and debate with friends, cinema, walking. Which, if any of these are middle class? Who decides.

I like mumsnet because we can hear and discuss a huge range of views on a massive range of subjects without prejudging the 'type' of person speaking. I might be middle,upper or working class. I might speak with a regional or RP accent, I might be a woman of colour ...or not. I might be well educated in a conventional sense ...or notl Do we sometimes evaluate the worth of what people say according to how we 'see' them? The great thing about Mumsnet is that we can only listen and respond to what a person posts. We can't make judgements based on how a poster looks/sounds/likely 'class'/or what she or he wears. Where else in life can we engage with a wide range of people and take them at face value without the usual 'signage' which can influence how we respond to others. This, for me, is Mumsnet's greatest strength.

[XingMing]

Of course, as this is about the wealth of MNetters compared to UK averages, then it's anecdotal. My family is comfortably middling, by education and income, but will soon be retired, so managing on less money.

[bringbacksideburns]

Not read all the thread yet but had to post:


05/03/2019 16:11 Blackcatonthebed

“I could type that I have a fab career earning Shit loads, married to a man who equally earns Shit loads ( with an unmentionable hobby of course ) have kids at private schools and I live in a five bedroom, four bathroomed detached house in a rural area ( cleaner and au pair optional) where I have my £150 weekly waitrose shop delivered to.
It doesn't make it a fact.”

I can says yes to all the above except my Waitrose shop is over £150 a week and theres no unmentionable hobby for DH. And we have more than 5 bedrooms

Please tell me you were being ironic? Why did you feel the need to share that in relation to this thread was it to prove it's true? Bizarre smugness.

As it happens I think there's a wide mix.

But there is a total obsession with Class and , as already mentioned , a bit of a condescending attitude to grammar errors which probably put some off.

But there does seem to be a slighter higher percentage on here of women who married straight out of University and have never ever worked a day in their life, due to well paid husbands.

They seem to slightly look down on any low level job as if they think an amazing job more suited to them is going to land on their lap. Or they just continue off and on studying forever and fail to see how looking down on a single mum on benefits is rather hypocritical.

[XingMing]

It's what makes one competent actor a movie star and leaves others unemployed. Not sheer physical beauty, which helps. It's star quality. You can't learn it, only a facsimile of it.

[BrizzleMint]

We're all Yummy Mummies with Chelsea Tractors and 'OK yah' accents, not a single bit of diversity to be had anywhere.

[XingMing]

I don't believe that intelligence and class or educational achievement are related, but some people can (usually via intelligence, whether emotional or intellectual) fit/shift more fluidly than others between classes. Some people have charm; it's a really rare gift, and it transcends the usual boundaries. But it's very rare.

[Graphista]

Ok I didn't think that was a flat share, my mistake in that particular link, pretty sure this one isn't

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-79847399.html

These prices are not that much higher than private rents where I live - in Scotland! And certainly in glasgow or Edinburgh not too dissimilar. I've also lived in other parts of the U.K. That were way more expensive than London.

This idea that London is the ONLY expensive place to live is nonsense.

And that's just looking on rightmove too certainly I know where I live they tend to hold the more expensive properties, local letting agents and ads tend to be where you find the less expensive properties but as I'm not now familiar with who the reputable local advertisers are for umpteen London boroughs I'm not trying to trail through multiple websites trying to figure that out.

[LuvSmallDogs]

I don’t mind rubbing shoulders with better or worse off folks (we’re lower income, but muddling on well enough with social housing, used furniture/clothes etc that we have money for extras and don’t feel poor). We have been on our knees though.

Some daft comment do piss me off sometimes. Like a comment I saw a while back, “who buys their own kid just one Bday present?” Um, we do? When you’re not well off, your kid’s bday is in winter (no bouncy castle in the garden) and your house is too small for umpteen kids to bounce round in so you hire soft play it really adds up when you’re not rolling in it.

[BejamNostalgia]

That’s a bedroom in a houseshare Graphista. One bedroom and shared facilities. It specifically says no families or children in the advert.

The cost of the 2 bed flat altogether is £1,700 per month, in excess of £20,000 per year

[thedisorganisedmum]

of course it's not the whole place, you pay for one room only.

[TatianaLarina]

To yourself I mean.

[TatianaLarina]

It states bedroom and bathroom, most definitely not the whole place.

[WomanWithAltitude]

That property is a flatshare, so I'm pretty sure that cost is only for one of the rooms. And the advert says "Not Suitable for Families / Children"

[thedisorganisedmum]

and flat shares are highly practical for a family.

[TatianaLarina]

Took me 2 mins to find!

A snip at 10 grand a year. And a deposit of nearly a grand.

Minimum wage earners need not apply.

[Ninkaninus]

Ugh I do write clumsy and convoluted sentences sometimes! Hopefully it still makes sense! I’m off this week and had a very good but very late night last night so I’m not necessarily all with it today...

[Dontsweatthelittlestuff]

I do think this site is more aimed at people with more disposable income. If you look at the adverts you don’t see Wilko or new look. It is Fancy teas and national trust.

[Ninkaninus]

Oh I know - I was just agreeing with you and then adding further comment. You’re completely right, it isn’t a reliable class indicator at all (or doesn’t need to be - obviously in most cases it can be a fairly good, if not unequivocal, marker, in conjunction with other factors), and it’s one of the things that makes Mumsnet so valuable as a female empowerment resource - I think there’s enough diversity of background and experience, with enough overlap of education and intelligence, to make it a far more robust entity than many others where the aim and intention is so fixed as to render it almost of no value. I’m not looking to be mollycoddled in my thinking - I’m looking to be met with, and engage with, breadth and width of knowledge and understanding, and multi-faceted people with multi-faced lives, with well-developed critical faculties and the wisdom and strength that comes from it.

[Graphista]

"The cheapest private sector rentals in London for a two bed is one in Eltham for £15k per year."

Really?

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-70036516.html

Took me 2 mins to find!

[clairemcnam]

Yes that makes sense. I have met plenty of polished, confident and not very bright well off people.

[notanothernam]

@Ninkaninus sorry my comment wasn't directed at you, I was correcting myself that intelligence isn't related to class as I used it as an adjective after affluent, as if women were wealthier and therefore more intelligent but I was incoherently trying to say I felt there were wealthier AND intelligent women (from all backgrounds) if that makes any sense. Clearly not talking about myself, on either count ha.