to ask the midwife for another Help B screen?

[SinkerSailor]

I am currently 28 weeks pregnant. I have health anxiety and have posted about this before. What happened was that my sister visited me for a week before Christmas, during which time she used my razor and my towel. (She often does this, even though I've asked her not to.) At the time of the visit, she disclosed to me that she has cheated on her husband with a (single) guy who travels the world for work and who she described as "a bit of a man-whore". She told me they had used a condom, but not for oral sex. She had also been making out with a friend who has HIV, though they didn't know he had it at the time. She's going through a bit of a mid-life crisis and has been getting drunk a lot and doing silly things.

Anyway, I got worried about HIV (on both of our behalves, although I realised the risk was very small for me), which I posted about here. I decided to ask DSis to have an HIV test and she did, eight weeks after exposure. It was negative.

Then I realised the bigger risk was actually the hepatitis B, which is transmitted much more easily and can definitely be transmitted by sharing items like razors and towels. Fuck knows, maybe she used my toothbrush too.

My dilemma is this: Do I get tested privately? This costs £300. DH would see this as we have shared accounts. I have promised DSis I wouldn't tell anyone about the cheating so would have to gloss over that.

Could I ask the midwife or GP for another blood screen? Would everyone who saw this (midwife, consultants, etc) in my maternity notes judge me for it and draw the conclusion that I had done illegal drugs or cheated on my husband while pregnant? Would they think I was ridiculous for asking, seeing as the risk is so small?

I'm so anxious, please go easy on me.

@JamPasty Thank you to you and everyone who has been kind.

I've asked DSis and she didn't get tested for anything else except HIV.

Isn't it going to look weird in my maternity notes if I have been tested again? Aren't people going to think I've done something "dubious" or that I'm having relationship problems? Maybe I'll go to a local std clinic.

You can get a private test to set your mind at rest and no-one ever need know eg here www.letsgetchecked.com/gb/en/home-hepatitis-b-c-test/?fb=sexualhealth&gclid=CjwKCAiA2fjjBRAjEiwAuewS_ZbIsIDTa7DzC5oQoYXBOKK1OP1cS0hsDU7c6GvTHQ7oE8p9GJxXFhoCffkQAvD_BwE

I had a private toxoplasmosis test and it never appeared in my maternity notes.

Hep B or Hep C from razors but you would both usually have had to cut yourselves not just shaved.
I would be very upset/angry with my sister. She has been irresponsible in her behaviour which is her business, but then used your items which has caused you worry.
It's easy for people to say "it's health anxiety" but in your situation I would be worried too
I'm going to an STD clinic to have my tests repeated because even though they have been done, I'm worried my ex may have cheated on me before we broke up so want to rule things out even though I already have. I'm pregnant and couldn't forgive myself if it transpired I had had HIV which could have been prevented from spreading to the baby but I didn't know. I know I've been tested already (negative) but it still worries me. It can take a while to come up.
And no, they don't test you for everything as standard. For instance, in pregnancy they test for HIV, Syphilis, Hepatitis. But they don't test for Chlamydia or Gonorrhoea.

@ShabbyAbby

I'm sorry, I really understand what you're going through. I think I will do the same and attend a local clinic for advice on what I might need to test for. Lots of people seem to think it's disgusting to share a razor but then almost everyone says you "cannot catch anything that way", so I don't know. I very often nick myself shaving and I don't think there needs to be a lot of blood for there to be a risk. I might have to rule it out anyway just to put my mind at ease.

I am sure you are fine as well, but I really understand your need to check.

@SinkerSailor Yeah I almost always catch myself shaving too Tbf.
Good luck getting it cleared up.
You could make something up completely to DH if you like, such as you trod on something sharp in a dodgy area and cut your toe and just want to err on the safe side.

You can order a free postal testing kit, and get the results by text. Check out sh24.org.uk

Are these self-tests definitely legitimate? I guess I'll have to look into them a bit more.

Hi OP, I remember your other thread. Pleased your Dsis got tested and hopefully got some advice from the clinic.

I know little about Hepatitis B risk - although the NHS page is a good place to start. From what I read it is uncommon in the UK. As a blood-bourne virus it would depend on quality, quantity and route.

I know you suffer general health anxiety, so some reassurance from the right people should help alleviate this worry. I don't think there is anything wrong in (especially when pregnant) wondering about the risk of catching anything from someone who has shared a razor and possibly bled on it. My first port of call would be the midwife, GP or anyone involved in my pregnancy care.

AFAIK general STI testing at clinics (some offer reliable postal testing btw) does not include for Hepatitis. You might be surprised that pregnant women, mothers with pushchairs etc - anyone who thinks they need to - go to them. Also - just a thought, have you ever been anywhere that needed a Hep B jab? If so you would most likely have antibodies which would prevent you getting it.

Have you thought of looking for a Hep B forum? Easy to find and there is a section on asking questions on risk.

They test for it if you ask them to

I agree with @Birdsgottafly here to be honest. I'd also be drop kicking your sister out of your life with that kind of behaviour around you and your unborn child.

Health anxiety is shit, been there done that, but got some help to sort myself out. The worst thing was pandering to it, really had to push myself but I did it. Listen to your midwife, go and get tested rather than clutching pearls about what will show up on your record, and please do some actual research about STD's and how they work.

Your anxiety is looking to be fed. You could have been tested already but apparently peace of mind is not you only priority. You want to feed your anxiety but don’t want to pay the consequences (saving face) of that decision.

If it wasn’t this, your anxiety would be looking for something else.

So everyone who tells me to do research - can you suggest any good sources? Like I said, I have checked the NHS website, which is where I got the info about razors. I admit that I mixed up Hep B and C with regards to bath towels. Doing research is not really that straightforward, especially as there's a lot of scaremongering about STIs out there.

@penisbeakers I don't understand your comment. You presumably think my sister has put me at risk, then? But you're also agreeing with someone who called me ignorant, and you are telling me to do research on how STIs are transmitted. So, do you think I am unreasonable to be worried about this, or not?

I have decided to buy a test online for Hep B and C. Sorry if that makes me a coward or whatever, but my anxiety also affects me in the sense that I can't stand it when other people think badly of me. I just don't want to have to talk about this face to face with anyone if I can avoid it.

I do appreciate all your answers, by the way. Thank you.

Hep C can't be spread by bath towels but it can be spread by razors (blood). Hep B can spread through either.

OP you ask for where to go for research...professionals are best, which is why midwife, GP and clinic has been suggested. Other than that, reliable online sources also help. Have you had a look at this: www.hepbpositive.org.uk/hepatitis-b-forum you could always have a look at the “am I at risk” section. There is also a freephone helpline on there.

I agree with penisbeakers post about not pandering to it and learning the facts, but some sort of risk assessment should be done first, and then testing done only if needed.

About not wanting people to think badly of you...I honestly think we would wonder if we’d caught something in the same situation - as I said I’d have asked my midwife or GP about it.

Also...the word ignorant might sound like an insult but think about the true meaning of the word. In this context it means not knowing anything or not knowing very much. So I would say I used to be totally ignorant about HIV for example - coz I was!

I honestly think we would wonder if we’d caught something in the same situation - as I said I’d have asked my midwife or GP about it.

Thanks for saying that. Maybe I can ask them... But posts like @Birdsgottafly makes me think they'll call social services or something...

I think everyone told you last time that the risk was neglible to you OP.

No, I wouldn't worry about HIV/Hep B/C in this situation. There's nothing to suggest that either of the men involved have hepatitis, presumably if one has been diagnosed with HIV he will also have been tested for Hepatitis so I'm going to say he doesn't have it. Therefore nothing to suggest your DSis has it. I would be surprised if they tested for HIV without testing for Hep B, maybe your dSis just didn't know.

Go to the clinic and get the test, but once you realise that you don't have Hep B there will just be another thing to worry about. You need to get help for your health anxiety, because everytime you put your mind at rest about one thing another thing will come your way.

I think everyone told you last time that the risk was neglible to you OP.

Yes. But I was obsessing about HIV that time. Hepatitis is actually easier to catch. That's not just me being ignorant.

The thing is that some posters have said they would worry too, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take that. I mean, the fact that I have anxiety doesn't automatically mean that I'm being unreasonable and worrying about nothing, does it?

I mean, another reason I'm worried about talking to the midwife or GP is if I encounter someone who thinks I'm basically nuts for even considering this a risk, like some of you here seem to think.

I wouldn't be impressed with anyone using my razor tbh but how did you find out? Did you actually use the razor again after she had used it and did you cut yourself?

As far as telling your husband, I assume you're not currently having unprotected sex if you believe you might actually be infected? If you truly believe you are at risk you should tell him, it's his health/baby at risk (?) too.

As a midwife I wouldn't think twice about seeing a test repeated only to ask the woman if she was safe etc.

Hep C isn’t sexually transmitted btw.

I know this as I had it and had treatment for it and no longer have it.

It lives in blood but there is no evidence to suggest it lives in vaginal fluids (like HIV does).

Hi I would go to the local clinic and explain I'm sure they will be able to advise you. I'm sorry your so worried could you explain this to your sister and ask her to get tested ? I'm not medically qualified at all but at my work i have been told by people they suspect they caught hepatitis by using used needles. Did you or your sister cut yourself do you remember? Anxiety is awful and even though I think the risk must be very small I think for your own piece of mind you should either ask your sister to get tested or you get tested. If you go to the clinic then you can ask for the GP to not be informed.