3 months pregnant and just been made redundant - no clue what to do!

[TwittleBee]

I was greeted by my Director and HR manager this morning with the news that I am being made redundant. Brexit was their reason behind this along with I'm the last in so first out.

Anyway, I'm 3 months pregnant (They didn't know this btw) and so have no bloomin clue what to do next...

Our finances are so tight, we have a stupidly high mortgage and I'm the bread winner! I've done the maths and with everything striped back we will be £350 short a month. We won't be entitled to any support too (Halifax suggest we looked on entitledto website already) as DH earns £24k.

I've already asked Halifax if we could have a temporary break or just pay interest only but we don't qualify.

If I do apply for another job surely the new employer will be seriously annoyed that I am going to be leaving start of September? (Possibly sooner as DS was born early). Also how does mat leave and pay even work out?

I know £24k seems like a lot and I know many people manage to survive on that but we stupidly crippled ourselves with a mortgage of £1300 a month and have no savings. Again, I feel stupid now for us having another baby but there was no sign of job insecurity.

Just posting on here for advice, help or any sort of way out of this. Feel like I'm in a very dark hole right now and can't stop being physically sick with fear.

Depends how easy it is to get a job in your industry and being pg. you want the money first and foremost

Why are you telling them at an interview that you're pregnant?! The purpose of an interview is to show them you're the best candidate for the job. There's nothing to gain here by telling them, only downsides.

Would your husband as a male tell them if his wife was pregnant? No, it's not relevant or appropriate at most normal interviews, even though he could be taking the last half of your mat leave instead as Shared Parental Leave.

Start acting more like a man would, OP - you're disadvantaging yourself otherwise.

I would strongly suggest that you look on the law society website - look under employment law in your area & see if someone with expertise in a law firm will give you a free half hours advice - we did this when my dh old firm tried to screw him (many moons ago) when he was going to have an operation -

solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/

I guess I told them at the interview because my mum made me feel guilty about not being honest with employers and it was a care giving job so I wasn't sure if it's something I'd need to declare. I have been offered the job actually, but it is minimum wage on a zero hour contract, they can't guarantee me any hours and I have to pay for my own training etc so I don't think it's suitable at all.

I've 2 more job interviews lined up at end of the month. I've decided to listen to you all rather than my mum. I explained to DH that rationale of how he wouldn't be telling future employers I'm pregnant if he was going for an interview and how I wouldn't have to tell a current employer I was pregnant until 25 weeks and he said it makes total sense then I wouldn't tell these next 2 employers. Plus they are interviewing for a position I'm qualified in so really would be the money we need and my career could continue.

Good decision OP. Your mum May be morally right if we’re being really particular but morals don’t pay the mortgage and you’re not doing anything wrong by not disclosing it nor being immoral.

Go to those interviews and show them you’re the best for the role, getvthe job, work your butt off and there is every chance ymthe employers will keep you on.
Happened in a company I worked at imeoth a woman in similar position

Personally I would get a temping job for now and then look for something proper asap after baby has been born. You seem to be expecting to take a full mat leave which in your circumstances sounds unrealistic in reality.

Thank you MimiSunshine and I thought if an employer does treat me bad after I announce my pregnancy, if I get a job, then I can just remind them that they shouldn't discriminate against pregnant women during an interview?

With DS I only took 4 months and do really regret it Teateaandmoretea so would like to do 7 months this time, get this one on track for weaning before Nursery. I have been looking for temp jobs but nothing out there that's suitable unfortunately

BS MimiSunshine. Morally employers should treat female and male applicants the same. There IS NO morale absolute here.

Well I feel like I am in total despair again. I've popped into my parents to use their PC to imrpove my CV and do some further joh searching... well parents are making me feel so shit about my situation. They just say I'm never going to be taken seriously in my industry if I start a job lying that I'm pregnant. Step Dad said, as a Director, if he found out one of his employers were pregnant when they started and they knew they were pregnant then he would do everything he could to either make them want to leave or remove them once they returned from Mat Leave. He said that it shows total lack of respect. They also said it's my choice to be pregnant and that I shouldn't burden an employer with my issues.

LIFO is not really a solid argument for redundancy as it can be seen as discriminatory. It should only be used alongside other measures. Also as you are pregnant you are afforded special protection from redundancy so if you have not already done so tell your employer you are pregnant. They have a duty to consult with you first to explore any alternatives to redundancy & only then can they start redundancy proceedings. Speak to ACAS or visit their webpage which gives more information. They cannot simply "inform" you that you are being made redundant in one fell swoop. Is it just you or are others affected?

It was 2 weeks ago now I was made redundant cheeseypuff and it was just me. Thing is, it was during my probation period so technically they could just get rid of me at drop of a hat anyway. So not looking to get them for it. They knew I was TTC as I had a MMC there and did tell them I was pregnant when they informed me it was "bad news".

I'd rather concentrate on trying to find a way foward now x

I wanted to reply to this as I had a similar situation.

I had a redundancy meeting the day before I found out I was pregnant. By the time all the meetings were concluded I was 3 months pregnant.

A couple of points - If they gave you 2 months pay, what was the actual date they terminated employment? I just missed out on the qualifying week to still be entitled to maternity pay from them. (think it was 26 weeks)
I got SMP instead, no issues, just filled in the very large form & sent some payslips off. Got a text confirming amount and dates.

Im going to be open and honest with salaries as it sounds like you are a slightly higher earner.
I was on £35k + car with original job.
I applied for a few jobs on that level but being honest I didn't fancy starting a new job, having to tell them pretty quickly that I was infact pregnant & would be going on maternity in less than 6 months. I felt it would lead to an unhappy working life.
I then applied for lots of temp roles. Admin mostly.
I got a temp admin role in a field that was related to my previous role on £19k (started it the day after I left old role)
At interview I told them that after being made redundant I just wanted a quieter job for 6 months before going back to a more stressful role - this was true, I wanted to sit on my arse for 6 months!

Did this role for 6 months (hated it but I wasn't going anywhere!) and then had SMP whilst off.
I did get a good payout so this cushioned us. Did you get all holiday pay etc?
One massive thing they may have missed is that redundancy pay / severance is not subject to tax. Did you pay tax on your 2 months pay?

Once I started properly looking for a new role after SMP ran out (and I dragged my heels for another 6 months)it took me about 5 weeks to get a job offer. My new role is £45k

It will feel now that your world has come crashing down. Everything has changed & you have no control over it.

Please take this as a long term challenge

1. Apply for any job you can get, temp is best, they ask less questions! Any money is better than none & once you start showing you will have no chance (although you can claim job seekers)
2. I felt it was fine to accrue some debt whilst I was on maternity. It was a short period of time where I wasn't working & knew I would go back to work. Even if it takes me 10 years to pay off the debt at 50p a week I still feel it was justified
3. You can & will get a decent job again. All in all I had nearly 2 years from the day I was made redundant to starting to job I'm in now. I thought I would be doomed on my CV but it doesn't seem to be the case.
4. I'm now earning £10k a year more than I was before. If I hadn't been given that kick I would have stayed in that job forever. It was scary at the time but we got through fine (made me really look at how much we frittered away!) and I'm out the other side with a much better working life (based at home....on Mumsnet) and better salary

I know its hard but don't worry @OP in the short term, if you don't get a temp job, things will be hard but its nothing you cant undo in the long term

With all due respect OP, PLEASE stop listening to your mum/step-dad. I despair at the comment your step-dad made about how he would treat a pregnant member of staff. Does he realize that is illegal? Bloody misogynistic pig.

Continue applying for jobs and going to interviews. As a PP said, the interview should demonstrate why you are the best candidate for a job. There is no need to disclose your pregnancy at that initial stage of the process. If I interviewed a brilliant candidate, who afterwards said that she would be going on mat leave for 7 months, I might initially think bugger it, but I would find a way to make it work for the right candidate.

At my last job - a City law firm, one successful candidate for a very high profile job did precisely one week in the job before going off on maternity leave! (I don't know if she disclosed she was pregnant in the interview to be fair, but a combination of a long interview process plus her old notice period of 3 months meant that she was about 8 months when she finally joined the firm!) When she came back, she was (and probably still) is an extremely valued well-respected member of the team!

It happens all the time. You mum and step dad are completely out of touch. It is illegal to discriminate on grounds of pregnancy and in any event, you are not "lying" by not disclosing it. If it makes you feel better, any member of staff can be signed off work at any time on grounds of sickness or MH issues and be gone for months, returning to work on a flexible basis (still on full pay) - it has happened at every place I've worked at and most of them have gone on to have very successful careers within the same place. It could even have happened to your step dad (not wishing ill on him obviously) - would he think that he didn't deserve sick leave/compassionate leave/MH leave if he needed it? Bet he would have taken it in the same way that some women do need to take maternity leave. Please ignore their ill informed ramblings. Good luck with your interviews!

Your step dad would likely be sued for maternity discrimination if he carried on like that. Why does he think he is above the law? And does he think it's 'lying' if a man doesn't disclose his partner is pregnant when applying for a job? Because now paternity leave can be shared. Yes unfortunately some people do think like this. But lots don't

OP your step dad is an arse and only being generous would say your mum is of a 50s mindset that he must know best.

It’s directors like him which make women in your position not feel confident going to interviews.

the LAW is on your side, you DO NOT have to tell the interview panel ANYTHING about your personal circumstances.

Just ignore them, Their outdated advice and illegal work place practices.
If they bring it up again, tell them they are unsupportive at a stressful time and you don’t want to hear anything more about the discriminatory management behaviour.

Hi everyone,

Thing is, we have previous experience of the law not working for discrimination as it really is their word against ours and that's what my step dad said too. He said that he knows the law but it doesn't protect anyone. He also said he wouldn't respect any man that went on paternity leave etc.

Anyway! Good news is.... I got a job!!!! More money, less hours and they know I'm pregnant! I am so bloody amazed

Congrats! Sounds like the perfect place!

Well done!

I had no trouble finding a new job whilst pregnant. I was surprised as thought it would put people off. They didn't seem to care at all!

Brilliant news.Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

I've just read this from the beginning and I'm so pleased for you!
Well done

Definitely agree with the majority that the right approach is to NOT offer this information in an interview, but regardless of that I'm really glad it worked out

Go tell your SD that some companies are more progressive then he is dinosaur and tell yourself that this company have got an excellent employer who will give them loyalty as a result

Congratulations!

Fantastic. Wishing you a stress free pregnancy from now on

Congratulations on getting a job. You probably won't qualify for occupational maternity pay or SMP, but will be able to claim maternity allowance during your maternity leave: get advice on this.