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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

3 months pregnant and just been made redundant - no clue what to do!

152 replies

TwittleBee · 04/03/2019 15:14

I was greeted by my Director and HR manager this morning with the news that I am being made redundant. Brexit was their reason behind this along with I'm the last in so first out.

Anyway, I'm 3 months pregnant (They didn't know this btw) and so have no bloomin clue what to do next...

Our finances are so tight, we have a stupidly high mortgage and I'm the bread winner! I've done the maths and with everything striped back we will be £350 short a month. We won't be entitled to any support too (Halifax suggest we looked on entitledto website already) as DH earns £24k.

I've already asked Halifax if we could have a temporary break or just pay interest only but we don't qualify.

If I do apply for another job surely the new employer will be seriously annoyed that I am going to be leaving start of September? (Possibly sooner as DS was born early). Also how does mat leave and pay even work out?

I know £24k seems like a lot and I know many people manage to survive on that but we stupidly crippled ourselves with a mortgage of £1300 a month and have no savings. Again, I feel stupid now for us having another baby but there was no sign of job insecurity.

Just posting on here for advice, help or any sort of way out of this. Feel like I'm in a very dark hole right now and can't stop being physically sick with fear.

OP posts:
Findingthingstough18 · 04/03/2019 16:08

Should have said I did tell my employer that I was pregnant once they broke the news, they just looked sorry for me but then said they were happy as they know about the previous MMC that happened during their employment.

Hmm. You say they didn't know - but how long ago was the MMC? Unless you were very vocal about it being an accidental pregnancy then it doesn't exactly take Sherlock Holmes to work out that a woman who has had a miscarriage is likely to try to conceive again, so I'd be quite suspicious in this circumstance that it was part of their decision making...

I would feel really icky using my pregnancy after the fact to cause someone else to lose their job instead.

To be 100% honest I wouldn't feel great about it either BUT 1) OP needs to think about herself and her family first - just as any of her colleagues would do and 2) the fact is, she is going to find it harder to find a new job than a non-pregnant colleague, so there's no point pretending that everything else is equal and she's seeking an unfair advantage

Findingthingstough18 · 04/03/2019 16:09

still on probation as they extended my probation after my MMC as they said they weren't sure if I needed time out to work out in my fertility

They extended your probation after you had a miscarriage, explicitly because you had a miscarriage? That does not sound ok, in fact it sounds highly discriminatory.

toomanykidsnotenoughme · 04/03/2019 16:09

@ScarletBitch clearly the OP meant 24k a year, not month!

Original poster
TwittleBee · 04/03/2019 16:10

@Grumpasaurous haha as you might have guess TwittleBee woods is certainly on the back burner now!

OP posts:
Karigan195 · 04/03/2019 16:10

Second that. Sounds discriminatory to me too!

thedisorganisedmum · 04/03/2019 16:12

selling your house advice is not helpful, there's always some posters who cannot bear the thought that someone can have more than 50p a day to survive.

Of course the OP can look at moving, but when you look at the cost of a new property, estate agent fees, mortgage approval fees, solicitors fee, removal fee and so on... it's not a magic way to free some money. houses can take months to sell.

It's not that easy to relocate either, it means both would have no job, it's very hard to find a new job until you are in a new place, and how do you live until your first pay check?

I would start by looking for another job, no need to tell about your pregnancy just yet, and look at all the help you are entitled to.

thedisorganisedmum · 04/03/2019 16:13

I would feel really icky using my pregnancy after the fact to cause someone else to lose their job instead.

I wouldn't - there's no reason why you should put other people well being in front of your own.

meorhim20 · 04/03/2019 16:14

still on probation as they extended my probation after my MMC as they said they weren't sure if I needed time out to work out in my fertility

sorry, are you saying they extended your probabation because you had a MMC? This is discriminatory. There are time frames to raise a claim. When was that? I suggest you get in contact with your union ASAP.

Toooldtocareanymore · 04/03/2019 16:15

there are a few things you can do, get some proper advice regarding whether company has gone though the correct procedures regarding redundancy I am not a lawyer but ,as the fact you were not aware this was a possibility, and there appear to have been no discussion on why your position is being made redundant, seems to me incorrect procedures. Last one in to a company I know is not proper grounds for redundancy, the position you are actually in must be made redundant. Brexit doesn't seem to be a proper ground either, what happens if there was an extension would there then still be a need for your position to be filled? would it be advisable for them to have you in the role in a partr time basis. It may be your so shocked that this was all discussed but perhaps worth looking into.

Secondly I'd set up a proper meeting regarding your mortgage, I wouldn't rely on someone on phone saying you don't qualify, I think you need to discuss this in person with them as to how you'd go about going interest only for say a 12 month period. Bring salary slips and be prepared to be a bit blunt , you wont be able to afford it on one salary so you must have it sorted out. Be prepared to discuss all options with them, including possibility to put house on market if the situation doesn't improve in say 2 years.

what sort of redundancy package will you get? return to employer and discuss if they are offering tailored packages taking into consideration that you are pregnant, ( I had a friend in this situation and instead of saying she had 5 years they treated her time for calculation as until end of statutory maternity so saying she got package for 6 years.) Know your facts about the tax efficiency of all redundancy payments to the employer and be prepared to raise it, if not many roles are being made redundant this may be more successful, but what have you to loose. Obviously you will have to bank this to cover the deficit.

Look at what options are available in market place , like short term contracts. You don't need the same salary just the 350 a month.

Original poster
TwittleBee · 04/03/2019 16:16

I just couldn't imagine how I would even start the discriminatory discussions, I'm honestly so bloomin pathetic when it comes to confrontation and would probably actually piss myself and would only send my anxiety through the roof even more! Besides, if they took me back on wouldn't it be so awkward to then have to sit in an office of only 8 people with them all not wanting me there?

OP posts:
Toooldtocareanymore · 04/03/2019 16:17

sorry some more comment passed with my posting

Petitprince · 04/03/2019 16:17

It may be that someone else wants voluntary redundancy, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Farmerswifey12 · 04/03/2019 16:17

Can you not go back to halifax and ask for.mortgage payments to be reduced if.you stretch the term of your mortgage? For example we had 10 years left but stretched it to 25 years to get the payments down while I was on maternity leave. I then put the payments back up once I had returned to work

ambereeree · 04/03/2019 16:17

Speak to your union. Extending your probation after a mmc is not right.

Toooldtocareanymore · 04/03/2019 16:18

some comments not are applicable if you were on probationary period, sounds like they didn't even have to make you redundant just end employment.

Notmorewashing · 04/03/2019 16:19

24k sounds like enough to pay the mortgage and 2 months pay will have to be split frugally to cover other bills for as many months as possible. I would then do temping, you should qualify for maternity allowance if you worked for 26 weeks upto 15 week before EDD

BlueSkiesLies · 04/03/2019 16:19

Fight your company re extending your probation due to miscarriage... also redundancy whilst pg.
Lodger.
Sell stuff you don't need any more (any expensive bikes, music equipment etc)
If no go at work, temping for now.
Look for another perm job.
Hugely strip back your lifestyle wherever possible now and save.
Look into DH taking shared parental leave instead of you being off so that you can get to work quicker

Original poster
TwittleBee · 04/03/2019 16:20

Already asked them Farmerswifey12 about that but we only got our mortgage last year and it's a 35 year term!

We already sold everything we don't need to provide us with paint and other decoration stuff we needed for our house BlueSkiesLies

OP posts:
LadyR77 · 04/03/2019 16:23

Really sorry to hear this. I lost my job when I was 10 weeks pregnant, so I know how awful it feels. I looked for fixed-term contracts to see me through, and ended up with a 6-month contract job that took me pretty much up to my due date. I qualified for Maternity Allowance once I was on mat leave, and then used my time off to find a permanent role. So if I were you, I'd look into temping or fixed-term contracts for the time being. Good luck, and congratulations on your pregnancy!

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/03/2019 16:27

Are you sure they don’t want you there? Who made the decision? Perhaps it was a purely financial one. Last in first out. Dh was let go last year after many years there. His boss and hr, who has to deliver the decision clearly weren’t part of the decision process. His boss was fuming and the hr lady was clearly shocked and incredibly apologetic.

You may not know where to start right now. But I think you should look into this decision. Did they send you straight home / garden leave?

Findingthingstough18 · 04/03/2019 16:29

I think you need to be completely hard-nosed about this. It sounds like they have been discriminatory, but the question is whether this is a route you want to go down - it's long, arduous and the outcome is uncertain. You might be better off getting an agreed reference from them and applying for every job you reasonably can now - as in, start today; at three months you've presumably got a window where you don't look pregnant but it's shrinking so use it! Get a new job if you possibly can, and don't worry about the fact you'll be taking leave; tell them this, brightly and breezily AFTER you get the job. If they make it clear that they are very unimpressed you may need to start job-hunting again straight after mat leave so you don't have to stay somewhere you feel hated. None of this will be pleasant but since you are worried about literally not being able to keep a roof over your children's heads then you need to do whatever you can for the stability of your family. Try not to feel guilty - as you've just seen, employers won't be constrained by a sense of loyalty to you, they'll do what works for the business - so do the same for your family.

Original poster
TwittleBee · 04/03/2019 16:30

I am sorry you've been through this too LadyR77 - actually just applied for a temp job so FX!

Mummyoflittledragon there's only 8 people in the company, it's a small firm and I know it has to be a financial decision not that they don't want me there as such. But I couldn't fight it get back in as others are suggesting because they'd surely feel resentment if they can't afford to keep me on?

OP posts:
squee123 · 04/03/2019 16:30

sounds to me like they're getting rid of you because they know a baby is on the cards. Check your home and car insurance policies to see if these include legal expenses insurance as they often do. If so I would look into getting legal advice on this. The fact that they extended your probation because of your miscarriage may well be claim enough.

bundesdelboy · 04/03/2019 16:31

OP you need a pile of proper advice but you're not going to get the accurate, impartial, legally valid information you need from posters on this.

  • employment law advice around probation extension due to miscarriage (did they ever say it was the reason explicitly?)
  • employment law / HR around redundancy, and how your pregnancy affects your rights, last in first out suggests it's due to the employee and isn't a valid method (roles become redundant, not hired individuals)

You need proper advice from your union, CAB, ACAS, and/or Maternity Action/Pregnant Then Screwed. Also your home insurance policy may have the legal protection to get access to a lawyer for free. Check it. I'd be talking to all of them TODAY.

Grievances have very clear processes - find out what yours is, ask your line manager for staff handbook or whatever if you need. Timelines matter later if you challenge the way this has been handled.

Protect yourself first - this is a business issue, and you have rights they need to adhere to.

Do all that before asking for budgeting advice - you need to focus on the short term issue at hand NOW. Stop talking about not being able to stand up for yourself - many employers will happily ignore legal HR practices if they know an employee isn't aware of their rights, and won't challenge... It saves them a few quid, right? And gives them the message it's ok to operate in this way.

bundesdelboy · 04/03/2019 16:34

Yes they might resent you... You'd be pulling them up for illegal HR practices!
In which case the relationship has usually broken down anyway and a severence agreement (payoff for not suing, an agreed reference, etc) is fairly common.

But all that rests on you knowing your rights (not talking to random internet strangers, I mean ACAS and suchlike), and enforcing it as a contract law dispute, dispassionately. And timely!!