If you could go back in time and do one thing differently ...

[annie987]

... what would it be?

To have tried harder at school. I hated it and just desperately wanted to fit in, so I messed about. Not to have wasted so much energy on thinking every boyfriend was the ‘one’. Lots of stupid teenage mistakes really

I'd insist on either marrying before ds was born or ds having my surname.

I wished I’d left

Sorry posted too soon.

I wish I’d left school at 16 and gone to college instead of sixth form.

Also wish I’d left my ExH much sooner. Or never married him in the first place. He was a bully.

Gone to live with my dad when I was 12. I would be a very different person now.

I wish my parents had never moved away but I couldn't change that as it was their decision to make but if I knew then what I know now I would have at least tried to make them stay instead of happily waving them off

I wouldn't bother trying to get along with my parents if I had my time again. I should have told them some home truths then gone nc

I would have stayed at my first job much, much longer because I realise with hindsight that I had landed on my feet.

I wouldn't have taken so long out of the workplace to bring up my children, although I would still have needed several years. It was due to childcare costs and there really seemed no way around it at the time. I look back though and wonder if I could still have got back in just a little sooner. I will never know though, and I would never change the children I have. I just should have explored it more thoroughly.

That said, I am happy with the job I now have and with my work/life balance, so I haven't done too badly. As others have said, these things have helped shape the person I am today.

Not listened to the solicitor who said "don't worry about the xxx on the search, we can sort it out later with the council".

I’d have split up with my ex when I found out I was pregnant (instead of feeling like I should move in with him so he could be a proper father) and moved back to the city I used to live in.

I'd have put down the paracetamol I was about to take, as a stupid kid thinking "medicine" overdose was the way to kill yourself.
I'd have taken my dad's heroin instead, and saved myself a lifetime of shit by doing a proper job of it.

I have so many but I since I couldn’t go back further than the birth of my last dc I just have to live with them.

If I could ensure that my subsequent dc would still be born I’d want to relive the pregnancy and first year of ds’ life so that he wouldn’t be autistic. The rational part of me knows it doesn’t work like that but my mammybrain will always feel responsible.

Not started my first diet when I was a size 12
After a lifetime of yo yo dieting I’m now at my heaviest ever and wonder every day if this is the day I’m going to die from obesity. But yet still don’t do anything about it. I’m fucked

Not trust "experts"!

The most important thing I've learned in life is to take what "experts" say with a pinch of salt and do your own research to check what they tell you.

I've had some shocking "advice" from solicitors and doctors which luckily I researched and challenged. You need to grow a backbone to stand up to these people who think they know it all and are happy to carry on with their lives without a second thought once they've ruined yours!

Not married my ex husband. Although I don't feel "regret" about it as such (it all makes you who are are yada yada) it was a horrible time and a stupid, expensive mistake.

I would have moved away with DH when we were first married instead of staying at home because my parents were older. They're both long dead and I feel like I'm stuck here now.

I would have studied harder and gotten better exam results so that I could have done the career I wanted. I was told I was dumb for years and years and I believed it. I wasn't dumb. I ended up doing a science and did quite well. I suppose I could still do the career I wanted to do.

I would have parented DC1 completely differently when she was small and I regret this every single day. Should I tell them this? That the anxiety they feel is mostly my fault? Would it help them?

I would have pushed for the surgery when I was a child. DM talked me out of it.

Kicked my ex out the first time I found out he'd cheated and not listened to the lies and minimising. Would have been 6 years younger when I had to start again. Although I now have a lovely new DP who wouldn't have been free at the time so who knows how it would have turned out.

Stayed friends with a particular friend and not dumped her.

I would not have believed him when he said he was afraid and abused, and thus would not have become the OW. I feel so fucking stupid and horrible that I was taken in.

Not sign up to Mumsnet. The time I've wasted reading about anonymous people, some I'm so glad I'll never meet, I'll never get back. I could have done so much more constructive things without it.

@troysmammy I could have written your post. I feel your pain. I am now addicted and too far gone.

I wouldn't have trained to be a solicitor.

Back to my wedding day in 2008. I'd run a mile to go and get married just the two of us. For too much stress pleasing everyone and being told we couldn't do what we wanted because it was "tradition". Crap wedding but great marriage so not all bad 👰

*wasn't

I would stand up to my exh and go to see my dad on his death bed to say goodbye