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AIBU?

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Original poster

Another mil rant

21 replies

samwiggle9 · 03/03/2019 22:02

This woman just infuriates me, i am aware the last thing shes done is a bit childish on my part but hear me.... my sons turned 4 5th jan so we went for a meal the day after with the family.... she made a big deal as soon as we got there about having separate tabs.... she then wanted my partners daughter/my stepdaughter on her tab. (It was 2 for 1) because one of there group didnt turn up so they wanted the deal... thats fine a bit of shifting around from my family we all managed to get a good deal on different tabs. Thats fine we all like a deal right... anyway comes to puddings we say no point weve bought a cake for my son to do happy birthday... they all ordered a pudding she even told step daughter she could.... felt a bit put out, so it was just my family that did the happy birthday and had some cake because they were full .... she then proceeded to cut aome cake for stepdaughter to take home for her mom and stepday (shouldnt i have been asked about this request instead of just taking?) ... then the bill comes.... first she makes a scene in front of the staff whipping out a calculator and counting up her reciept... thts not her bill its too high... she she goes through it again. Figures out it is her bill... loudly in front of everyone in the resteraunt says she will pay for stepdaughters meal but wont be paying for her pudding or the drink... i had alreay paid for a drink so she was trying to charge ne for one their drinks.... keep in mind this is all in front of two waitresses and two couples having a meal. So my mom offers her the money for the pudding, she then has to point out she doesnt want my moms money its not her place to be paying for the pudding.... so my mom put the money on the tBle said its all family and walked out the pub.... now its stepdaughters birthday this week theyre going out for a meal ive purposely arranged overtime.... now shes text my partner 3 times going on about how she will buy her a cake she must have a happy birthday its got to be chocolate.... and today weve had the message shes bought the cake and candles its important cant have her birthday spoilt if she doesnt have a happy birthday...... am i being childish here or would that get on your pip as well??? Sorry for the rant. She infuriates.... i dont want to bore you with even mpre complaining lol

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratcett · 03/03/2019 22:05

She sounds awful but she's yours now! Thinking of it as your family and his family isn't going to help. Think of her as an irritating relative of yours.

MorningRichie · 03/03/2019 22:08

So you've got a problem with both Grammar and Granma?

slipperywhensparticus · 03/03/2019 22:09

Dream of sending her canistan

MorningRichie · 03/03/2019 22:09

In all seriousness, she sounds a bit annoying and embarrassing, but deliberately missing your step daughters birthday is pathetic. Your DH should be having a word.

werideatdawn · 03/03/2019 22:11

MorningRichie Grin

Original poster
samwiggle9 · 03/03/2019 22:14

Im not missing her birthday. Her birthday has already been celebrated twice, im just not attending the family meal thats celebrated for just family so the outside world isnt apart of it.....

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 03/03/2019 22:18

It’s all very “take a break”.

Singlenotsingle · 03/03/2019 22:25

Tedious woman. What a palaver! YANBU to be a bit pissed off! (And I'm a MIL!)

ladymariner · 03/03/2019 22:26

You're missing the family meal because you've deliberately arranged to be at work, you can't have it both ways. You sound hard work.

Original poster
samwiggle9 · 03/03/2019 22:32

Im hard work because i refuse to humiliated in public? Im irritated about the whole cake situation. They always say after a million big things its always something petty that really p**s you off

OP posts:
BlackeyedGruesome · 03/03/2019 22:32

I think missing the meal is a good idea personaly as you find her so annoying and it will just wind you up the contrast with the lack of care and pettiness over paying for stuff she ordered at your sons meal and the fuss she is making over sd's meal.

if she says anything you can innocently comment that you thought cake was not that big a deal as they did not seem to mind about not having your sons cake.

Original poster
samwiggle9 · 03/03/2019 22:38

Its not i find her annoying.... well i do find her annoying, but thats not the reason im not going.... she comes into my home desrespecting me, blatant favroutism over grandchildren, i ignore all that i wont lower myself to her level... im bowing out of this one because i refuse to be embarressed in public.

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 03/03/2019 22:44

No way in hell would I go for a meal out with her again, no matter what the occasion. As for the cake, let her off - you won't be there to be any part of it and if your Dh is willing to put up with her nonsense, then that's his issue. Tell your partner you're not interested in his mother's histrionics and not to bother you with her text messages.

Sorrywhat · 04/03/2019 09:23

I think in perspective of all MIL rants you’re getting off easy!
Be pissed off but get over it. Believe me there are worse things a MIL can do. Unless she has done worser things?

BlueMerchant · 04/03/2019 09:36

Don't go to the meal. There's no enjoyment in it if she's there. Sounds like she's over invested in her granddaughter in general.Is she over- compensating for the fact her parents aren't together? There's likely resentment at some level towards you. She sounds a real prat.I would keep my distance.
I'd tell her you are doing your own private Birthday cake etc when step daughter is at your house- just the four of you or that you are taking her out somewhere- just the four of you!

BaronessBomburst · 04/03/2019 09:59

Will your stepdaughter. Be disappointed if you're not at the meal? This should be about her, not MIL.
if she couldn't care less, fine, do the overtime and avoid MIL. But if DSD will be upset then you need to rethink your position.

Merryoldgoat · 04/03/2019 10:08

Where is your DH in all this? My husband wouldn’t brook this nonsense.

GabriellaMontez · 04/03/2019 10:16

goat is right. Why are you and your mum discussing this with her in the restaurant? Where is her son?

Before your next meal, make sure he knows he's responsible for all bill discussions and payments.

Original poster
samwiggle9 · 04/03/2019 11:49

No we celebrated her birthday yesterday just the four of us, shes also had 2 other bday treats since half term so me missing one isnt going to bother her.....she doesnt like me she doesnt think im good enough for her precious son.... im fine with that crack on... i dont understand why she has to make it so blatant that one granchild cant havr a spoily birthday and the others doesnt matter..... to the person who said she could do worser things.... believe me she has done worse things, sd birthday last year we did the family thing at my house.... she came flicked all her crumbs all over my living room floor because she wabted a picture with all her grandchildren. Then told my son to mind out the way. Xmas eve she came in not realising i was upstair started slagging me off big time because i didnt have her xmas card in right place. It cost her 3 pound you know. Partners birthday the staff were having trouble working out the bill top of her voice in front of everyone asking me whether everything was ok if my card had been declined. If people like her didnt buy new cars then the likes of me wouldnt be able to buy a second hand car..... i could go on im just making a point the whole cake thing has really got on my nerves

OP posts:
Limensoda · 04/03/2019 12:05

Don't go if you can't stand her ridiculous behaviour. If you can ignore her behaviour, then go for everyone's else's sake. Some people can detach from these issues but others get irritated so just decide which is best for you.
Sadly, lots of families have someone like her.

GustavoRocks · 04/03/2019 13:25

It sounds as though she has done enough bigger things that even the little things are annoying you. Start to give her a wide berth where possible.
My MIL can be very unfair, she has a preference to the two grandchildren that she sees more of. Mine are definitely second tier. I zone way out and completely ignore it.

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