How can I be in the top 5% of drinkers at 20 units a week?!

[Pooshy]

I've been tracking how much alcohol I drink since the start of the year in an effort to cut down

It's working and I think I probably drink about half as much as I used to, around 20 units a week on average. Still over the women's recommended limit of 14, but this is better than I was

However the app I'm using says I'm in the top 5% of drinker so that means only 5 people out of 100 drink more than me

Surely that can't be right... how many unit do you drink a week usually?

Cross-posted. So it's AA's fault you have a messed up relationship with alcohol; your liver will be fine long-term because you can stop for a while occasionally and it will go back to normal every time; it's perfectly doable to just restrict alcohol (why aren't you doing it then?). Ok.

Knitter honey, sad or not, it is what it is.
Your username suggests I wouldn't get on with you anyway

I was a pretty big drinker (not on your scale, but still...) for years. I didn't have my personality amputated when I stopped drinking as much. But no you're right, we probably wouldn't get on. I'd find it difficult to be friends with someone with your life choices tbh.

Thanks for mentioning the ethnicity of your doctor, Litluts. It really adds to the story.

Can we not accept that, for some people, wine is a pleasure in and of itself? I can remember sitting and drinking a bottle of Domaine du Vieux Telegraphe in a lovely restaurant overlooking Lake Windermere just after meeting DH, and thinking that life didn't get much better. A friend bought me a bottle of an absolutely terrific Lynch Bages, the exquisite taste of which I will never forget. Equally, drinking Islay whisky on Islay in glorious sunshine was a brilliant holiday. Yes, there are people who drink and who have a problem. No, relishing a great bottle of wine does not make you an alcoholic.

No, AA didn't come and get me! My brother sent me there. AA teachings however are very damaging. It's a zero tolerance approach. There is no case for moderation in its teachings.

Modern more medical approaches do very much argue for the case of moderation. AA can brainwash you into thinking that theirs is the only way. If you drink, you're fucked. I was years in AA and every time I drank after months of absolute sobriety I'd attempt suicide. I personally think it's a very very dangerous philosophy. Just my opinion. I know it has helped a lot of people. Success rate is 5% I believe.

I don’t drink at all during the week as I have to drive if I go out (can’t work out the safe drink drive limits so I just don’t bother). I do however drink about 10 units on a Saturday. Partner and I share a bottle of wine (5 units each) with dinner and then have a couple of gin and tonics while watching a film, another 5-6 units each. This is classed as binge drinking and is apparently worse than having 2 units every day. I don’t feel like drinking during the week, too tired.

I think more extroverted types tend to drink more
I think this is interesting as I’ve always assumed the opposite. When I was younger I really felt I needed alcohol to make it easier to socialise - I would still prefer it these days, but have more confidence in being able to chat without any help to loosen my inhibitions. I certainly as a student drank more than my more confident friends - including before I’d left the house.

It's really up to me what I choose to do. There is no God who is going to help me. It's not a fucking illness. It's a habit. It's a physical addiction over a certain amount where medical physical withdrawals come into play. I think that is consuming more than 12 units per day. That is where they will intervene medically to withdraw you.

Separately, I suffer from depression. Not as a result of alcohol, separately. I had a very abusive childhood. The first time I attempted/contemplated suicide I was 12. I was 16 before I ever drank.

The two can get conflated and mixed up.

Am I capable of regulating my drinking etc.? Yes. 100%

Do I want to at the moment? No. Why? Because I'm in a period of depression. Will I get out of the depression while drinking all day? No. Lol.

I think I need to just kick myself up the arse and sort myself out. It's like a fat person who constantly wants to diet but never quite gets there. I'm the same.

Will I ever be abstinent? No. No. No.

Of cours enjoying wine doesn't make you an alcoholic. Needing one makes it more likely.

Interesting Ivy44.

I think extroverted types tend to socialise more. So tend to drink more.
Introverted types possibly drink alone more if they are prone to having a drop.

While I appreciate that some people like appreciating a wine, I don't. I drink for the effect of alcohol. Not for the taste of wine.

AA does work for some people. Its problem is that they insist they're the only way. They've sort of monopolised the process. There are other methods and even other groups. I found reddit.com's stopdrinking forum incredibly helpful. Many people swear by the books by Jason Vale and Annie Grace. I do have my doubts about moderation. It sounds exhausting compared to simply not drinking at all.

We have friends who still think that we all drink what we used to at 20. But what they don't realise is that we might do every few weeks (I don't really) but they do every night. So there is a constant stream of people in and out of their house drinking.

That was supposed to be "reddit.com's stopdrinking forum."

I'm trying to compare it to over-eaters.

Some eat to appreciate the taste of chocolate cake. Some just eat.
Smokers?
I can't imagine a smoker saying - Hey - try this cigarette! It's really good.
Alcoholics?
I couldn't give a fuck what it tastes like once it has alcohol in it.

Litluts - I’m confused, you say that your mother is raising your DD but you had a very abusive childhood. So who brought you up?

Imogen. You've hit on the exact reason why I drink.

I don't think they are separate @litluts
Don't you think that you are drinking (self medicating) because of your depression?
Sorry about the AA it sounds like a shit show for you. Is there anything that could help? For me it's running and yoga. As I write this I realise how glib and meaningless it might sound. But a kick up the arse is not what you need. It's kindness and help.

Endorsed by Social Workers too!

I don't drink often. I'm very, very nervous round those who HAVE had a drink. I can really put it away if I want to, but I genuinely don't want to most of the time. I'm crazy enough without dumping fuel on the fire.

No, at times, I'm running and doing yoga, pilates, boxing etc. And drinking a couple of glasses of wine in the evening. This is when I'm happiest.
At times I'm drinking all day long. Not happy
At times I'm working and drinking. Happy but tired
At times I'm abstinent. Not happy

I drink around 30 a week so there’s another above you.

My DH drinks around 40

My mother drinks around 80-100

My friends all dink more than 20.

We like a drink up Notth

Are you saying that your DD was placed with your mum by social workers? Yet your mum was very abusive to you?

Could you be a bit less cryptic please, I’m easily confused.