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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can I be in the top 5% of drinkers at 20 units a week?!

611 replies

Pooshy · 03/03/2019 20:31

I've been tracking how much alcohol I drink since the start of the year in an effort to cut down

It's working and I think I probably drink about half as much as I used to, around 20 units a week on average. Still over the women's recommended limit of 14, but this is better than I was

However the app I'm using says I'm in the top 5% of drinker so that means only 5 people out of 100 drink more than me

Surely that can't be right... how many unit do you drink a week usually?

OP posts:
Muddysnowdrop · 04/03/2019 18:03

Litluts I’d take your building control types over wild drunken traders any day. I suspect only one group would be capable of an intelligent conversation (and maybe some morals too)

Gwenhwyfar · 04/03/2019 18:11

""Yes because not drinking alcohol makes your life boring"

It really does. "

Well, I have to say that I found dry January VERY boring.
Strange thing is that I've been thinking of doing dry Lent because I want to cut calories, but the thought of all those weekends with no drink is not attractive. I have two days to decide I suppose.

RestingBitchFaced · 04/03/2019 18:14

Why bother asking on mumsnet! Everyone only drinks a thimble if sherry at Christmas

THIS ☝🏻

Graphista · 04/03/2019 18:28

"The risk of what?"

At best getting points for drunk driving, at worst causing serious injury or death to an innocent person and having to live with that for the rest of my life.

1 hour per unit is an average. I'm only 5'2" and for most of my life certainly during the time when I was drinking more regularly I was also very slim (size 6-8) so would likely have taken my body much longer. Plus as always with these things that average is probably based on how men's bodies work.

Add in people not remembering accurately how much they've had to drink, miscalculating units anyway and not remembering accurately when they had their last drink the night before...

... No! I think it's safer NOT to drive the next day.

This was confirmed for me when friends of my parents, who stayed at my parents the night of the event where they were drinking and didn't drive until late afternoon the next day "to be safe" were killed when the driver went off at a bend, no other vehicles involved - he was found to still be over the drink drive limit but not by a huge amount. And many people would have felt safe driving, not felt drunk at that level, and likely wouldn't think they were over the limit.

The person that hit my friend that lost her baby as a result (8.5 months pregnant) was also driving the afternoon after a night out drinking, and even challenged the breathalyser result legally.

People don't correctly assess their ability to drive.

"Am also amazed at how little socialising posters on MN do. “Oh I’ll have a drink at my next night out in April”. What? Do you not have friends and family? Do you have people over to your house? Go for Sunday lunch occasionally? What do you do with your time if you never socialise???" There are plenty of other ways to socialise that don't involve drinking. People are discussing here the events where they're likely to drink, they're not saying that's the only time they socialise. When I socialise I do things like cinema, bowling, swimming, yoga, walks, cycling, meals out without drinking, visit places of interest (eg museums, art galleries), popping out for coffee...

Whereareyouspot totally agree. I kinda wish I could post video or even photograph of my dad, even when he was my age he looked dreadful, bloated, sallow, waxy skinned, rheumy eyes, dry cracked lips, purple swollen nose and that's just the outward appearance. He's basically completely wrecked his heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, stomach, bowels, , gall bladder, pancreas, bladder... It's all fucked! He's in constant excruciating pain all day every day - and that's WITH basically unlimited morphine & other painkillers. He's on over 200 tablets a day, plus sprays, inhalers and oxygen.

But I think the thing that op & other pps who are drinking more than is strictly healthy is that this did not happen overnight. Of course it doesn't, neither did becoming an alcoholic. It slowly creeps up on a person. Tolerance is built, often they'll go through phases of reducing how much they drink or not drinking and even then it's not immediately obvious withdrawal symptoms but things that are easily explained/excused by other causes eg difficulty sleeping, increased anxiety, craving carbs, increased irritability...

So these symptoms are ignored or excused but they convince themselves they've managed fine without alcohol therefore they will be fine to drink again...

I think anyone with any sense can see how it's easy for gradual increase in amount and regularity can happen. As I say it doesn't happen overnight, it's stealthy and insidious.

It's not pearl clutching, certainly in my case it's a desire NOT to see anyone suffer from the horrific physical and mental effects of alcohol dependency, NOT to have anyone killed or injured as a result of drunk driving (and I include the drunk driver in this, they should be suitably punished of course but serious injury or death I wouldn't wish on anyone).

ReaganSomerset - exactly, it's not just about the amount, it's the effect (physical and mental) and the relationship that person has with alcohol.

Fairylea exactly, it's why many alcohol dependency programmes suggest that changing your friendship circle is something that seriously needs to be considered. My aunt (also a recovering alcoholic, dry 30 years) after several attempts at giving up came to a realisation that part of the problem was her relationship with her best friend since school (also an alcoholic, sadly never able to quit and died of resultant heart disease a few years ago). So she made the decision to go vlc with that person. Not an easy decision.

Apparently a major study showed there's NO healthy limit.

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/aug/23/no-healthy-level-of-alcohol-consumption-says-major-study

But of course basically, the amount and type of harm will vary person to person. There's so many variables, size, sex, race, genetic factors, pre-existing medical conditions...

"So there's really no level of drinking at which the liver escapes scott free? Do livers heal themselves? Or am I thinking of kidneys?" Livers do have regenerative properties BUT this doesn't mean the liver is full back to its original health and if it's repeatedly damaged it eventually stops being able to do this. Scar tissue can form and that creates other problems.

"Wjays changed is our understanding of Heart Disease, Cancer and all the other conditions that drinking can cause." Exactly, especially now fewer people smoke and other causes of these conditions eg work related pollution have been largely eradicated and they realised people were still getting these conditions.

The notion that it's not possible to have fun without alcohol is ridiculous. I've had numerous nights out to restaurants and even pubs & clubs where I haven't been drinking and had a fantastic time. Prior to my accident I was first on the dance floor and last off, I love a laugh and good conversation - all possible without a drink. I've even had people on those nights out who were new or not close acquaintances be sceptical that I was stone cold sober because I was up dancing, talking to new people etc. I've several friends & family who are teetotal for a variety of reasons (personal choice, medical or religious reasons) who are also "life & soul of the party" types. First on the dance floor/karaoke, chatty & outgoing. No alcohol needed.

I do think as a nation we have an addiction to alcohol, the advertising is still promoting alcohol as variously classy/fun/necessary to a night out. Personally I'd ban it, it's just as harmful as tobacco and advertising for that has been banned. It's too cheap, too easily available and too socially acceptable. I'll probably get flamed for all that but it's genuinely how I feel.

MrsPworkingmummy · 04/03/2019 18:32

I'm similar to you OP. We have a G&T or glass of wine most evenings with dinner, then at the weekend , we'd probably have a few more G&Ts before our meal , and at least a bottle of wine during it.

MrHaroldFry · 04/03/2019 18:37

So twenty units = 83.33ml wine x20
A large (250 ml) glass of 12% ABV red wine has about three units of alcohol. A medium (175 ml) glass has about two units.

If you don't drink wine one unit of alcohol (10ml) is the equivalent to: A single measure of spirits (ABV 37.5%); half a pint of average-strength (4%) lager.

I am a lightweight and I wouldn't be able to take that much alcohol in a week and still function properly. I have maybe two small glasses of wine a month.

MrHaroldFry · 04/03/2019 18:39

We have breathalyser tests at home and insist overnight guests who 'had partaken' the night before be entirely sober before they leave.

Bluntness100 · 04/03/2019 18:49

You breathalye your guests ???😱

Katterinaballerina · 04/03/2019 18:51

It’s a refreshing change from the ‘asking guests to take their shoes off’ dilemma. AIBU to breathalyse my guests?

ColeHawlins · 04/03/2019 18:52

How do you "insist" they don't leave? It sounds wonderfully sinister. Grin

Anon10 · 04/03/2019 18:59

That’s a lot of alcohol. I drink about 4-6 units a month! What life stage are you at? I’m late thirties. I used to obviously drink more at uni and in my twenties but since I was in my early thirties not very much at all.

LaFreaka · 04/03/2019 19:09

We have a breathalyser, so we are always safe to drive the morning after. I was genuinely surprised and quite relieved by how quickly I can metabolise alcohol. We only drive if we are clear the following morning. I enjoy drinking, it doesn't cause a lot of difficulties for me - I don't get drunk, dh and I like to drink together - we'll be up the next morning going out for a run with the dog, we can afford it. It is possibly having an affect on our livers and so we have limited our drinking to weekends only to give our liver a break. I do not know anyone who doesn't drink...

Litluts · 04/03/2019 19:09

I'm sorry, but you hold your guests hostage until they pass a breathalyser? Are you the police?

Sophiesdog11 · 04/03/2019 19:13

I too find it sad that people think you can only have fun if you drink alcohol. I rarely drink as am prone to migraines, which alcohol can bring on and I have better things to do than spend a day in bed with a migraine and sickness if it can be avoided.

However a close friend was (think she has cut down in last year) drinking 1.5 bottles a wine 4 times a week minimum, and told me that was the norm. She thinks I have a serious problem as I don’t drink regularly and limit myself when I am out.

She is a long term friend but over last few years her attitude to my lack of drinking has become almost bullying, to the point that I really wasn’t looking forward to seeing her in the autumn and was quite upset for a few days before.

DH offered to speak to a mutual friend but I pointed out that I should be able to fight my own battles at 55. The weekend went ok, with only the odd comment but I am definitely wanting to pull away from the friendship.

It’s sad, but why she feels the need to comment I do not know. I have various friends who are completely teetotal, some who drink socially, everyone has different likes and dislikes and reasons to drink or not.

Interestingly my 2 young adults rarely drink in the home (maybe a little over Xmas) or when out for a meal with us, they seem to limit themselves to just drinking when out with friends. They did avail themselves to free drinks on a recent long haul flight though!

Litluts · 04/03/2019 19:15

Oh this is tickling me. In fairness. I needed a laugh.

I just have visions of Horace making for the door and Doris saying 'Now now Horace, you know the rule -ala Mrs. Doyle from Fr. Ted' We need to know that glass of wine didn't go to your winky Wink You'll do the breathalyser. Oh you won't? You will. You're fine? Well we'll soon see about that! Come on now. Just blow. Blow. Will you fecking blow into the thing you half wit!
Ok. You're fine now to leave. It was lovely having you!!!

Litluts · 04/03/2019 19:18

If I want to do sober stuff, I do that. 7 days a week. If I want to get a bit drunk/merry/intoxicated, I love nothing better than going out and doing so. Ye my liver possibly doesn't love me, but my brain wouldn't love me if I bored myself to death either.

OKBobble · 04/03/2019 19:41

I probably don't even get to 20 units a year so for all those like me who are generally a zero we drag the average down.

20 seems a lot to me.

Litluts · 04/03/2019 19:50

OKbobble. I was going to type something but a part of my brain died.

shortaris1 · 04/03/2019 20:04

I am genuinely surprised by all the non drinkers. Everyon e I 'm friendly with drinks and so does everyone I work with. Not drinking is just not a thing in my life.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 04/03/2019 20:07

I don’t drink,it’s no biggie to me.but some other folk it really vexes them
It’s unusual for me to drink,it’s not an integral part of who I am,or what I do

Mumphineasandferbmadea · 04/03/2019 20:30

People saying they don't know anyone who doesn't drink. I cant say I ever talk about me not drinking which was shown when at work I got Jack daniels for my secret Santa. I drive to work events so I dont get questioned for drinking soft drinks. So people I know may say they know no one who doesn't drink.

Muddysnowdrop · 04/03/2019 20:41

I can’t imagine not knowing anyone who doesn’t drink, as that would mean I’m unlikely to know people from some different religions and backgrounds. How boring.

TedAndLola · 04/03/2019 20:45

Well, I have to say that I found dry January VERY boring.
Strange thing is that I've been thinking of doing dry Lent because I want to cut calories, but the thought of all those weekends with no drink is not attractive.

Doesn't that worry you at all? I'd be really worried if I was dependent on alcohol to have fun.

ErickBroch · 04/03/2019 20:45

0 units, as do most my family and friends.

tilder · 04/03/2019 20:47

The attitude that not drinking = boring fucks me right off. It's just rude.

I enjoy a drink. But I'm not dependant on it. Can take it or leave it. I have a drink maybe once or twice a week tops.

I would view the amount and frequency some posters say they drink as a problem.

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