Aibu to still be smarting about the cost of attending my bil's wedding?

[Goldenstar18]

New poster, so please be gentle with me 😏 so, my bil lives in US, and dp and I had to travel from the UK for the wedding with the rest of the family. I had just graduated with c£35k debts that I was just starting to pay back, was working 2 jobs but earning very little and did not get paid leave, and had a new mortgage on our first flat together. We were expected to stay for 14 days, pay for own own flights, hotels and other travel costs. I was also asked to be a bridesmaid (despite only meeting the bride once) and was expected to pay for own hair and makeup, help set up the reception and do lots of general running around. They bought me a dress that was 4 sizes too big. We were also expected to buy a gift from a really expensive wedding list... the cheapest item was a set of utensils at $130. We didn't even get a thank you card. Aibu for being cross??

@Punstow61 I disagree completely. Most Americans don't expect relatives from abroad to travel to their wedding. I'm surprised she was bought her dress if her SIL is American as that's not the custom here. I thought British weddings were more OTT with the stag/hen dos going on for a week, and then a church wedding, wedding breakfast and/or the whole shenanigans about day guests and evening guests (we don't do that - if you're invited to a wedding, it's to all of it, and you're fed a sit down meal).

Why on earth did you go?

You shouldn't have went, although I understand why you did.
My BIL got married abroad and we could ill afford the trip at the time. But he is my DH's brother. God father to my eldest. Family is more important sometimes.

YABU to let something like this bother you for any length of time but I only say that because hanging on to anger about something that the other person has long forgotten is only damaging to yourself, I would forgive their selfishness but not forget.

I would definitely drop it in to a conversation if the chance arises, say if a conversation about weddings came up, just drop in how broke you were and how much you had to fork out for their wedding day.

Personally I would have not gone either and I sure wouldn't have bought them anything as a give apart from myself and a cheap nasty photo frame from the $2 shop with price tag still attached and for good measure a note in the card saying 'sorry, I a broke and this is all I could afford

*gift, not give.

I should add we made some compromises. We went for 5 nights whilst the others went for 10.
You probably should have considered a shorter trip and saying no to being a bridesmaid

Seems very odd that a US couple would have a 14 day wedding event. Most people get 14 days paid vacation total in the year. Every US couple I know just do a weekend event at the most, as they are thoughtful about their guests wanting to have family time with their vacations

OP not come back then? 🙄