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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man attempts to bully me out of parking space

125 replies

RelaisBlu · 03/03/2019 13:11

There was a parking bay with room for 5 or 6 cars and the last 2 spaces at one end were free so I took the end space. I moved back & forth to make sure I was within the white lines and right up against the end line to give maximum room to anyone parking behind. Whilst I was doing this a man in a Range Rover began to nose aggressively towards me at the end of the bay, as if to force me back into the space behind so that he could take the end space. I stayed firmly in the end space and turned my engine off whereupon he got out and came round to my window. I wound the window down and he asked me to move up. I refused and said I preferred the end space. He rolled his eyes, returned to his car and parked behind. I should also mention there were other spaces available, on the opposite side of the road and further down.

Was I unreasonable? Neither of us raised our voice but his whole manner was entitled and I really resented the initial edging forward. I would never do that - I would hold back, let the driver choose their space and take the one that was left.

When I was younger I would have felt obliged to do as he asked, just because he wanted me to. Not any more.

I also felt certain that if I'd been a man, he would not have behaved like that, which also made me determined to stand my ground.

OP posts:
Dervel · 03/03/2019 14:25

Lol good point! That song though, makes my world incalculably better with it’s presence!

PuzzlingPuzzle · 03/03/2019 14:25

You got there first and you parked legally although very selfishly. Crack on if that’s how you want to park, you’re perfectly entitled to do so, but you probably need to develop a thicker skin if you’re going to feel that intimidated when someone asks you, without raising their voice, to move up and rolls their eyes.

And for what it’s worth I live on a very narrow street where people park on both sides and I’d never dream of parking at the back of a bay leaving an awkward to get into small space between me and another car and I’ve never seen any of my neighbours do this either. It’s the done thing to pull forward to the car in front.

HaventGotAllDay · 03/03/2019 14:28

Yabu for minimising the word "bullying"

SevenStones · 03/03/2019 14:30

If people can't parallel park perhaps they need to book a couple of refresher driving lessons. Also, the more you do it, the easier it is.

I've never heard of this thing where you don't take the end bay in a line of bays by the side of the road just in case someone who can't drive needs that space.

nicenewdusters · 03/03/2019 14:33

You can have a "thick skin" and still see that somebody is an entitled twat. Maybe he should learn to respect other people's choices, especially if they're parked perfectly legally?

SevenStones · 03/03/2019 14:33

I’d never dream of parking at the back of a bay leaving an awkward to get into small space between me and another car

Who has done this?

Rubusfruticosus · 03/03/2019 14:39

Moving forward to behind the car in front is not because people can't park, it is just common courtesy to make things easier for others. It saves someone from blocking the road while parallel parking, facilitating free flow of traffic.

BrizzleMint · 03/03/2019 14:40

It’s prob because it’s harder to parallel park the RR.

So not the OP's problem at all then? If you buy an RR you need to be able to park it. I have a small car and I like to park on the end spot so I can always get out because you get idiots in huge cars that they can't drive thinking that I only need 2 inches of space to get out.

LetsSplashMummy · 03/03/2019 14:42

I used to park next along leaving the end free, however the size of cars has become so ridiculous that you often can't see out safely if surrounded by oversized monstrosities.

I have no qualms about passing back some of the inconvenience these vehicles are causing to everyone else on the road. It's the only possible way that the tide can turn, if it becomes a hassle to need/use twice the space everyone else does.

Alsohuman · 03/03/2019 14:43

I wouldn’t have asked you to move. I would have rolled my eyes and called you some choice names under my breath as I moved away though.

Alienspaceship · 03/03/2019 14:46

Op, I would have smiled my sweetest smile and asked him if he wasn’t very good at parking and would he like me to park his car for him? If he said ‘no’ I would have leapt out if my cat and waved him into the space shouting helpfully ‘bit more’ then patted the car with a ‘well done’ and then walked off. Grin

CheerioHunter · 03/03/2019 14:46

He asked you said no certainly can't see where the "bullying" occurred?

This.

The edging could easily have just been because you were backing up, he was (wrongly) expecting you to carry on in to the space he wanted you to move in to, so rudely just wasn't waiting.

He asked you to move because in his mind it made sense.

From your account I agree he was being selfish, unthoughtful etc. But it's a pretty big jump to label him a bully.

You said no voices were raised it sounds like a disagreement of views handled in a relatively mature manner.

He shouldn't have asked you to move, but he did, you said no, he was annoyed but respected this.

TwixBix1 · 03/03/2019 14:47

I think you are in the right - it's not like you were parking across two bays or anything like that. There's too many people who think they can tell/demand total strangers who have parked legally to move to accommodate them - it's one thing asking politely and another to demand it.

Vicky1990 · 03/03/2019 14:50

I would advise anyone in this sort of situation; do not get out of the car, lock the doors, DO NOT OPEN the windows, start the engine, have your phone to hand.
Regardless of who approachable your car in this situation you do not know how they will act, keep yourself safe and be ready to act if required.
Road rage is a sad fact of life these days, and a fist, acid or spit could be aimed at you through an open window.

Roisin606 · 03/03/2019 14:51

fucking good for you don't be bullied by any sexist git! Fed up of Land Rover drivers ''thinking'' because they have a bigger vehicle than you that they are ''entitled'' to coerce you into doing what they want. BRILLIANT! Glad you stood your ground and continue to do so! WELL DONE YOU!

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 03/03/2019 14:51

Agree that he would never do this to a man.
You have every right to park in the place that suits you. I can't imagine being so rude that I would ask someone else to move their car just because I prefer their space!

flowery · 03/03/2019 14:52

”He was probably edging forward as he expected that you would move up, that would have been the polite thing to do.”

This. You don’t make it clear but I assume the spaces were end to end on the side of the road rather than next to each other, in which case if you are driving into a space which has another one directly in front of it and there is someone else waiting to park as well, the helpful thing to do is to pull forward so that the other person can pull in behind you, then you are both parked much more quickly and easily.

I would have rolled my eyes at having to faff about parallel parking because you wouldn’t move up. It doesn’t mean I can’t parallel park, it’s just about doing the little things to make life easier and more pleasant for other people.

Tinkobell · 03/03/2019 14:54

I've seen this behaviour quite a lot OP. I call it "Parkers Remorse"; its when you clinch the great spot that someone else had their heart set on and they just can't shake it off....it's really common. The man didn't really bully you however. The best thing to do is a blank poker face next time.

RelaisBlu · 03/03/2019 14:57

flowery if you read all my posts on page one, the points you raise are addressed

OP posts:
Tensixtysix · 03/03/2019 15:00

I'd do the same. If I was in a 'bad' mood, he'd come back to his car to find a flat tire.
Strange how a little stone can find it's way into the dustcap...

Fairyliz · 03/03/2019 15:01

Entitled twat well done for standing up to him op.

I bet he was thinking but I have a range rover!

donquixotedelamancha · 03/03/2019 15:02

I can’t picture the spaces as you’ve described it

It is a convoluted description, isn't it? Took me a couple of reads. If I understand correctly:

  • OP took the end space of a row, leaving a gap.
  • This forced some bloke to wait while she faffed and then parallel park- rather than them both just pulling directly in, one after the other. - The intimidating bastard then came and asked her politely to move up.

Another vote for asking is not bullying.

@OP Obviously we weren't there, but it's not surprising if he edged forward a bit much- he would not expect you to reverse to occupy the end.

viques · 03/03/2019 15:02

Is there a diagram down thread because I have read the first few posts and can't visualise the car park at all.

CheerioHunter · 03/03/2019 15:06

Ten ... For asking if you'd move, then driving off when you said no?!!! 😂 🙄

donquixotedelamancha · 03/03/2019 15:06

I'd do the same. If I was in a 'bad' mood, he'd come back to his car to find a flat tire.

That seems an entirely proportionate and reasonable response to someone asking you politely, once to move up.