To bring your child?

[Fieldwork]

DH and I have been invited away for this weekend with his DB and DSIL, (no kids) as a surprise for her birthday. Plan is to surprise her at dinner and to come for part of the weekend - not all. Resort is beach based but definitely aimed at an adult crowd. Beautiful bars etc. DH said yesterday ... oh I've asked DS if he wants to come (to which I was a bit )quickly followed by oh don't worry he won't want to, but I wanted him to know he was included.
My point was he hasn't asked his DB if that's ok, as if DS says he wants to come then it completely changes the dynamic of the weekend for DSIL/DB, who the Occassion is all about. There is only so many long lunches, nice bars you can go to with a grumpy teen in tow. DH would end up doing his own this with DS, missing the point of the weekend with DB and DSIL. Plus it would mean missing a day of school. Am I being a wicked step mum ? Or is this an unreasonable path of thinking for DH?

[MsPavlichenko]

But why would DS be upset? It is not his weekend with his Dad. And anyway the folk issuing the invitation did not include him. And what has it got to do wth his Ex?

As I said red flags all over the place here.

[Fieldwork]

So I dropped DH in it with BIL today .....

[ApolloandDaphne]

And?

[HermioneKipper]

What did BIL say?!

[harriethoyle]

.

[Fieldwork]

DH not booked hotel yet, dragging his heels as he doesn't want to commit to something he can't change if DSS decides he wants to come or his mum cracks it about us going away.

So lovely BIL messages me today, where you staying etc, shall I book here for dinner. So I told him the whole sorry scenario, he was really good about it and said. You need to come without him. It's important for you guys to get a break too. His take on it was DSS has been too used to getting his own way for too long and if DSS wants to come. BIL will say no, not going to work, it's an adults trip etc. he'll be the bad cop .... BIL
Was frustrated that DH was still being 'controlled' by them.
I've booked an event for us to do in the afternoon, which is adult appropriate and off home to get DH to book hotel, then we can move on and look forward to the trip !

[TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup]

So DH gets to say "it's not me that doesn't want you there, buddy". Bet that's what he was hoping. He sounds feckless.

[Fieldwork]

No no, DBIL will tell DH to sort his shit out. So it doesn't need to be me !

[beanaseireann]

Good result so Fieldwork